Fitness & Exercise Community

I'm a 19 year old girl, I work out a lot and I'm very dedicated. My problem is that 4 year ago I was overweight, and I started dieting about 2 years ago I lost pretty much all the weight that I needed to lose, I weight about 117-120 pounds right now, my height 5'2, size 4 my bmi is about 22. The problem is that I had been crash dieting and and I became addicted to working out since harsh dieting itself was not enough. I started this whole intense working out and diet obsession last year, as a result my hormones got all over the place and I had to take birth control to regulate them for a while, things went back to normal and so did my diet and it lasted for a long while. (Except for the hair loss, I had that as a side effect and it still exists! It really scares me. ). When this year started, my diet was realistic, I worked out for about 3 hours five times a week, I lost fat and gained muscle, I felt healthy and everything went fine. Until this summer when I got obsessed with having six pack (I only have two!) and I went back to the yo-yo dieting and intense working out. I spend the past two months running 5 miles everyday and eating about 1200-1500 a day, I lost five pounds but I ended up hurting myself. And now I'm left with my a strain on my left knee, and my right knee being over-trained from weight training. I was told not to exercise as long as it takes for my knee to heal, it's been three weeks and I haven't exercised my legs at all (It did get better, but I can't run, jog or even walk on it for long distance right now, it takes time), I do upper body weight training every once in a while now but there is not much movement involved, I gained all the weight that I lost this summer and more (I went down to 110, now I'm about 120 or so but it's not stabilized for some reason, I'm not eating that much, but my metabolism was terribly low, and now I'm just eating regularly, maybe a little bit more sometimes). Now with my intense desire to lose fat and gain muscle, my energy not going anywhere, my dreams just falling apart and my health, I'm more depressed than ever, I know it takes time for my leg to completely heel (I got way much better in the past three weeks so that's good), I just have to be patient. But the reason I'm stressed out is that if I can ever be successful in my diet and workout plan. I know this sounds crazy, I'm a smart girl, I read a lot and I'm studying medicine (I'm in love with nutrition and psychology) but my body is really what matters most to me (Maybe even more than my health?), people tell me that I look fine and fit, but I think I've got a long way to get there. I wish I can become like Jillian Michaels for example (Healthy AND fit/attractive at the same time) and despite my hard work, dedication, etc it just looks like I can't get there. What upsets me the most is the fact that I work more than the majority of people that I know, and yet I just can't get anywhere! I wish there is any way anybody would personally show me how to do that, I'm willing to learn and change, I'm not lazy, I'm open-open and I'm willing to do anything to get my health AND my looks! My plan for now is to swim a little bit and do some light weight training for upper body, then couple weeks later I start light walking, then jogging and eventually make it back to running. (Hopefully by then I will be able to do both upper body and lower body weight training, I will be careful though), do you think that's what I should do? My diet will be reasonable and realistic but I really need your help on how to plan things out.