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first time with another man
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daddy1000 posted:
I am 40yo male, married to a beautiful women and the sex is great but I found myself getting aroused watching men masturbate, i love to masturbate 2-3 times a day. I went to purchase a toy at the adult shop in town and met this other man, I was so nervous I was shaking we went to his place and he proceeded to blow my mind with this blow job. I frequent that shop now and was wondering does this mean I am gay. I also use anal penetration when I masturbate and I love it. does any want to comment?
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Cat78fish responded:
I think you have issues in your marriage that you need to resolve and cheating on your wife is not going to solve that. Your wife deserves better. I can tell you that if I ever found out my husband was cheating on me, I'd be telling him to get out because I wouldn't put up with it. Donna
 
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Dazzer55 responded:
I know what Donna said but dude there are alot of guys that cheat on there wife's. You should be careful about the video stores. You might run into a undercover police officer. You probably wont encounter one but the possibility is there. Your not gay your a bisexual and from what you said in your post you feel guilty about hiding this from your wife. You know your wife better than anyone so you probably know how to approach this with her. I think you need to bring up the subject up in a off hand way, like make a liberal statement about gay's in the military. If she says something homophobic, then you pretty much know how that conversation about your sexuality will go. Listen, masturbating is great, I love it but beating it all day long means your not engaged with your wife intimately. Going to the video store will only make your problems worse. She will find out sooner or later, so it might be wise to take control of the situation while you are still in control of the situation.
 
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silverteenager responded:
lived a double life for years to satisfy the cravings you describe . it wasn't till I lost everything that mattered most wife, kid, home money whole 9 yards I tried the Gay lifestyle only to be so disappointed .I am re married to a wonderful woman would not cheat on her for all the gold in fort knox, and yes you are cheating on your wife. you are a bi man with strong homosexual tendencies tell her before she finds out the hard way
 
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Handytim responded:
I dont think your gay..anal stimulation is a GREAT way to orgasm..its really to relationship w/ same sex that makes one relate to gay, which you have done..yet.. You are bisexual..I dated girls in college, but more in a LTR male relationship, so Im predominantly gay, tho I STILL fantasize about some woman, esp the ones I had contact with in college..as well as some others, whether its in a catolog, or 3 D.. As someone else said, he abandoned marriage of 9 yrs to find nothing but emptiness...that CAN happen, but it CAN happen to find a good mate of same sex also--Ive been w/ same guy for r 20 yrs...and yes, I ve strayed a few times when younger:)...but it IS possible top find a lifemate /soulmate, f or m, str8, gay/bisexual
 
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413101 replied to Handytim's response:
I am a married woman 24 and I want my husband to be with another man and woman...Weve been married for 5 years almost 6 ..........I guess Ive got a sexual problem...?
Hes never been with a man or thought about it untill I told him to. Sometimes he gets off to it but he dosent like to admit it (I know) anyway I just thought it would be fun for us to try together its not that I dont love him I DO and I want him and only him for LIFE! And maybe another woman! ;-)
What do I do?
Is it ok I think like this?
Im the one always looking at porn!(NOT HIM)
Am I bad???
 
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff replied to 413101's response:
Dear 413101,

Wanting to be adventurous in the bedroom isn't a bad thing. Especially after you're past the "honeymoon" period, many couples look for new ways to enjoy intimacy together.

However, your husband possibly having a fantasy about something doesn't mean you should try it, especially if he won't 'admit' that it turns him on. Bringing outsiders into an established relationship can be very risky. It has the potential to ruin your relationship as well as introduce an STD.

Also, just because you fantasize about it doesn't mean the reality would be so fun. What if your husband decides he has more in common with or is more attracted to the man/woman you introduce into your lives?

All of those warnings aside, there are people who have experienced threesomes, foursomes, etc. and have not have any difficulties. There are people who are "swingers" and have open marriages, and it works just fine for them.

Perhaps role playing with your husband that you were someone different (take on a new name and identity like an actress does) might be a good way to start? Here's an article called Great Sex Unzipped , which you may find helpful.

If you have concerns about your thoughts or desires, talking to a sex therapist could be a good route to look into, too.

Yours in health,

Byroney


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