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Gonorrhea mystery
Nieciedo posted:
With much sadness, I have just yesterday ended a very close "friendship with benefits" that had lasted for almost 2 years. We had come to care deeply about each other and trust each other, and so for over a year we had been having unprotected anal intercourse with me as the top and him as the bottom. We promised not to have unprotected sex with anyone else and to keep each other advised as to our health status. We both got tested for HIV regularly and shared the results. I had no reason to believe I carried any other STDs. My friend was, understandably, very concerned about allowing me to penetrate him without a condom, but he had come to trust me and I never did anything to violate that trust. I promised him that I would never do anything to put him at risk. He knew that I had sex with other men, but that I always took the necessary precautions. He said he had not had sex with anyone but me in over a year (not counting mutual masturbation). The last time we had sex was New Year's Eve. He complained of a little pain and discomfort when we began intercourse but it quickly passed and we had a wonderful, beautiful time. A few days later, he started complaining of a severe pain in his lower abdomen, in the rectum and groin area. His doctor said it could be either an STD or a prostate infection brought on by trauma of anal sex. He and I concluded it had to be the latter, but the doctor did a gonorrhea culture test just to be sure. As a show of good faith, I had a complete STD screening run as well. My results came back first. I had no STDs of any kind. The gonorrhea urine test came back negative and my white blood cell count was completely normal. There were no white blood cells in my urine. His results came back positive for gonorrhea. He was devastated, accused me of violating his trust, and now we are no longer friends. I have grieved but I know I did nothing to hurt him and am ready to move on. What I do not understand is how this is possible. As my doctor explained it to me, the absence of white blood cells in my urine suggests the absence of infection, but not necessarily so. He said it is possible for a person to still have an infection and have no white blood cells in the urine. I suppose there is a possibility that the gonorrhea infection is too recent for the urine test to detect, but the white blood cells in my blood (which should have been elevated if there were a recent infection) was normal. Another thought was that perhaps I was infected on 12/31 and thus infected him, but by the time the test was run on 1/13 the infection had cleared up. But then I realized that gonorrhea does not just go away on its own. It looks extremely unlikely that I have gonorrhea or have ever had gonorrhea. Yet my former friend has gonorrhea. However, he swears he has not had sex with anyone but me in over a year and both I and the doctor believe him. Does this make any sense? How can this be? Many thanks for any insights, Dan

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