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First time with man.
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AceDalton posted:
Dear readers, I am writing this in order to get help, suggestions or opinions to a decision I want make. I am not sure how to go about what I would like to pursue, so after reading this if you would like to suggest something please do. I have come to a cross road in my life. I am not going to go into details of that crossroads for it is not necessary at this point. Here goes. I have never been intimate with a man. I have thought of it off and on but never intend to act on it. I am unattached and seek to have a relationship. The right person, my preference would be a woman, but none has entered my life and not sure what the future holds. Because of this ?freedom? I have been visiting my thoughts of this man I?ll call him ?Iconic Man?. I have known him casually for about 10 years. He is tall in stature, jovial and warm and is very creative. He is in his sixties and sports white hair and beard. He was once married but she died long ago. He lives with a man. They have master suites on opposite end of the home in which they live. I always enjoy my time with Iconic Man. My dilemma is that I am not really sure of his preference. I?m not sure if he is partnered with the man with whom he lives, by the way he to has equally white hair and beard. I never asked or assumed. For the past several years I have wanted to contact him with my request of which I?ll get to in a moment but I couldn?t find his contact information that I once had. I was in a town close to where he lives. Hoping to bump into him, no such luck. We have a mutual friend (so I discovered) in common so I got his telephone number and address from her. I couldn?t have been much happier to finally have a way to contact him. So now I have his contact info. I am not sure how to approach him. What I want to ask him is if he would mentor me in the male physical relationship and I would ultimately do the act with him. Before we do the act. I want to spend time with him and develop a stronger personal relationship. This is very important to me. I want the experience to have a deeper meaning. If he ends up being the only one I will have the good memory of our engagement and hope that it will be a life time bond between us with no regrets attached. My reason is simple at least for me. I like him and I am comfortable with him. I want to try it (sex) if I don?t like it or feel it?s not for me I will always have a connection with this man. How does one ask such as question without being offensive or insulting or for me embarrassing? I know for sure that I want to ask and I'm certain that he won?t be put off. Still I?m nervous. I want to pursue this so I can stop thinking about it. I want my first time and the process to my first time to be specials with the Iconic Man. Anything to say? Contact me @ acebbtd@gmail.com Title: Iconic Man Thanks for reading!
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff responded:
Dear AceDalton,

How about contacting Iconic Man and catch back up with him and see how receptive he is? If you seem to hit it off, them perhaps make some plans to go do something together.

Until you know this man better, and know if he has a partner or not, then you're just living in your own fantasy of Iconic Man. He may not have a partner, but he may not be into you, either.

You need to re-read your post and see how much you've already invested in Iconic Man, without really knowing him. You two may hit it off perfectly, and he may find you as interesting as you do him, but until you explore further to find out what his needs and desires are, you're viewing it all from your side.

If you have a therapist, this might be something good to explore with him or her. Some of our members may chime in with their own experiences and opionions and share them with you.

Write back and let us know how you're doing if you feel like sharing,

Byroney


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