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An_198080 posted:
I have been married to a man for 12 years. We are basically roomates, living in the same house to raise our 3 children. Over the course of the last 5 years or so, I have come to the conclusion that I am attracted primarily to woman and even had a long-term relationship with a close friend of mine. There is no dishonesty between my husband and myself, he doesn't expect disclosure from me or to be involved in any way. We are both just at a point where we try to do the best that we can to keep our kids happy. I guess what I'm actually looking for is a close intimate friendship with another woman. However this has proven to be quite a challenge! There is a gay bar here in town that I've been to a couple of times to no avail, I've contacted posters on Craig's List, most of which turn out to be women who are "curious" or people just looking for sex. I'd really like some advice, if you have any to offer. Thanks in advance.
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff responded:
Dear Anon_11621,

I am going to suggest you may be going about it a bit backwards. I am no expert, and certainly I would welcome any other opinions, but my thoughts are as follow:

How many straight people meet their best, intimate friend at the only bar in town? How many are successful on Craigslist?

I think if you want a lasting friendship, that has to devlop on mutual interests and common ground. It doesn't often work well to put "sex" first, and then later find out if you even like anything about one another.

So I'm thinking that if you go to events that interest you, then you are more likely to meet someone you'll contect with. If you check your local LGBTT newspaper or center, you should find a calendar with LGBTT-friendly or sponsored events. But don't rule out events that aren't specifically GLBTT.

If you don't meet anyone you can have a more intimate relationship with at the alpaca weaver's club, the hat collecting club, the paint ball re-enactors and so forth, at least you'll be enjoying yourself. And the people you make friends with there might introduce you to that right someone else.

Best wishes,

Byroney
 
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pixikins replied to Byroney_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thanks, I guess that makes perfect sense. It's kind of hard sometimes, with a full time job and three kids to carve out time to go and do things on my own, but it's definately something that I need to explore. I feel like I'm drowing in my own life some days. If nothing else, at least I'll be doing something fun and enjoyable, right?
 
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff replied to pixikins's response:
Dear Pixikins,

I think sometimes we forget in the midst of our trying to juggle a million things, to make time for fun. You may even want to experiment with things you've never tried before. It will give you a break from the kids, husband, job and energize your mind--maybe tap into a creative or other side of you that has never been discovered or might have been buried.

Write back and let us know how it's going,

Byroney


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