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Hello All
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sexkittenraven posted:
Hello all I'm Raven, I am bisexual I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. I've been with my girlfriend longer. We've been together five years I've been with my boyfriend three years. I want to marry my girlfriend but she doesn't want to get too serious because we have both been basically disowned by our families out of shame.
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff responded:
Dear sexkittenraven,

Hello, and thanks for posting here! I am sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend aren't supported by your families. I hope they come around, but if not, you'll find new families of supportive friends who will appreciate you just the way you are.

Perhaps you and your girlfriend could see couple's counseling for your issues? Depending upon how your relationship works, involving your boyfriend might be a good idea, too.

Hopefully some other members will chime in and share their experiences, too. In the meantime, I'm glad you're here and hope you'll post again.

Best wishes,

Byroney
 
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sexkittenraven replied to Byroney_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thank you for the welcome.

Is it okay if I call you Byron? LOL.

I've asked her about "counseling" before but she says we don't need to go because there isn't anything wrong with our relationship. I've been in individual counseling since I was in high school my mom thought it could maybe turn me completely straight or something.

Is it unhealthy to have both a girlfriend and a boyfriend?
 
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff replied to sexkittenraven's response:
Dear sexkittenraven,

You're welcome to call me "Byron." He was a great poet.

It's a good thing you've had counseling, even if perhaps it was started for the wrong reason. Has your counselor ever said anything was unhealthy with having a girlfriend and a boyfriend? He or she is the expert.

My non-professional opinion is that if everyone is old enough and consenting, and it's working for all involved, then good for the three of you.

Byroney
 
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MirandalovesCalen responded:
Hi Raven and Byroney, I'm Miranda , Randi for short. I am a lesbian. My girlfriend/heart's name is Calen. I'm 32, and she's 36. We've been together 8 wonderful years. I love her and I know she loves me. How else could we put up with the hell from each other when we're going throught our time of the months!!! But its nice to meet the both of you hope more come along.
 
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MirandalovesCalen replied to sexkittenraven's response:
I know you wasn't addressing me, but I don't think it should be unhealthy! Does everybody agree on the terms? Also too you said you want to marry your gf, do you think it not only have somthing to do with the family issues but also da bf too. Maybe she doesn't think you really want to commit.
 
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff replied to MirandalovesCalen's response:
Hello, Randi and welcome!

Congratulations on eight years with your dearheart, Calen. To make a relationship work long term, it takes two dedicated people and you two should be proud of yourselves for working it out and making your relationship thrive. August will mark 14 years with my wife, and I have to say although we've had our share of stresses, I wouldn't trade her for anyone.

We have a lot of members who "lurk" here and read along, but don't usually comment. Using the "anonymous" option may be something to try for anyone who'd like to join Randi, Raven and I here without using their regular screen name.

Byroney
 
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MirandalovesCalen replied to Byroney_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thank you for the welcome Byroney.

I am dedicated to my heart, and I plan on being with her for the rest of my life. We plan on having a family. Calen's for adoption, and Im for adoption or AI. I would like to do the AI so that I can bond with my baby.
 
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff replied to MirandalovesCalen's response:
Randi,

You two could do both. Adoption and A.I. could work together just fine.

I'm sure you've already thought of this, but do make sure and check the laws in your state to make sure they allow same-sex adoption, and allow same-sex adoption to a natural birth parent, too. You can often get legal advice/help from your local gay and lesbian center.

Our son graduates from high school in two weeks, and our daughter graduated from college in December, so we've got a bit of a start, family-wise. They are both naturally mine (and an ex) and my wife is their stepmom. "Non-traditional" parenting/family has worked for us.

Best wishes to you and your heart for a wonderful weekend,

Byroney
 
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MirandalovesCalen replied to Byroney_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thank you Byroney.

You are going to be sad when your son graduates. Last baby bird leaving the nest. Are you done with having kids are or you going for one more.
 
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff replied to MirandalovesCalen's response:
Dear Randi,

We're done now. I'm in my late 40s, and while I know there are plenty of people starting families that age or older, I'm not ready to start again. We've talked about a foster kid, but until the economy is more stable, that will have to wait.

We'll definitely miss our son, but the good news is that e-mail, IMs, blogs,and cell phones make it a little easier to keep in touch these days. We still talk with our daughter on a regular basis and will get to see her next week.

Did you and Calen have a certain size family in mind? Do you have friends or neighbors who are GLBT friendly and have families of their own? It's nice bonus when you have community support.

Byroney
 
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MirandalovesCalen replied to Byroney_WebMD_Staff's response:
Its really good that you have so many ways to keep in touch with your lil ones. It dont matter how old they get they still your lil ones! The fact that they are doing something with they life it good enough. BTW adoption is a good choice.

When we talked about having kids we both said we would love to have 2 but if I get 1 I will be satisfied with that. We have friends now, but we lost alot when we came out a couple. It hurt like hell like I was kicked in the gut. Cause I thought these was people who had my back.

They talked about us, and made up stuff foolishness that was unnecessary. Now we have homosexuals and straight. It sure enough is a bonus when you got community support cause you dont have to worry about people accepting you.
 
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff replied to MirandalovesCalen's response:
Dear Randi,

You're so right about making sure you're surrounded by people who've got your back, and then kick to the curb anyone else who can't deal. No one--especially not children--need negative, hateful people around them.

Make sure and keep us updated on how things are working out for you and Calen.

Byroney


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