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An_198096 posted:
First off, sorry if this question is in the wrong place, but I really need some information and don't know who to talk to.

I am in my mid-teens and go to an all-girls high school. Because of this, I know very few boys my age and none I'm really interested in dating. I have never been in a relationship or really had physical romantic affection with anyone of either gender. To be honest I've never had a full-blown "crush" on anyone, or at least a crush as described by friends/books/movies/etc.

I have always gone through sort of a "honeymoon" stage when I make a friend--thinking they're the nicest, most awesome people ever and I want to spend a ton of time with them--and a few months later realize they're not perfect but still really great people. Recently this has happened with a girl I am friends with, only this time I notice she's really pretty. I don't know if that means I have a "crush" on her or what. In the past I have thought that in general, women tend to be more beautiful than guys, though I've never really been sexually attracted to either.

I just have no idea if I'm straight and reacting like this as a friend and it happens to be stronger than normal, or if I'm lesbian or bisexual since I think women are prettier than men, or asexual since I've never really had a "crush" on anyone. If anyone could shed some light on this and give past experience that'd be great. I'm just so confused and don't really have anyone to talk to.
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hello Anon_170859 and welcome!

I don't think noticing someone is pretty means you have a crush on them--I think it means it's something you've noticed. For instance, you may have noticed an actor or actress is good looking, or perhaps even the person bagging the groceries at the supermarket. Just because you've noticed something physical doesn't mean you have a crush.

You may have noticed other things about this girl and your other friends in the past, such as they're smart, funny, goofy, or whatever. That is part of getting to know someone.

Now, this doesn't mean that you might not develop a crush or her or someone else. I do have a resource for you that may help you figure it all out. Is This Love? is an article meant specifically for teenage girls to help them sort things out. Even though they talk about guys, you can figure a lot of what they say applies to both genders--no matter who you care about.

You may want to talk about this with a trusted adult, or see if your school or community has a GLBT Center or teen outreach program. The Amercian Academy of Pediatrics in this article on Gay and Lesbian Teens says "During early and middle adolescence, a youngster's sexuality may be in a state of flux."

So give yourself time and get the support of trusted adults to figure things out, and don't be in a rush to apply labels to yourself.

Let us know how you're doing,

Byroney


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