I AM A 20 YR OLD MALE WHO HAS BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 5 YEARS THIS OCTOBER. I LOVE THE MAN I AM WITH ("I THINK"), HE IS THE 2ND MAN I HAVE HAD ENTERCOURSE WITH, BUT I SEEM TO FIND MYSELF LOOKING AT OTHER MEN. I ALSO LOOK AT PORN OFTEN AND MY PARTNER GET REALY MAD. SO AM I HAPPY?
You've asked a very good question, and I'm sure you could get dozens of answers.
Many men and women look at other men and women without any serious intent on cheating. They consider it "window shopping" and don't mean anything by it, yet for their partners it can be a difficult thing to see.
Many men also like to look at porn. So many in fact, this article suggests Men are Hard-Wired to Like Porn . Some partners/spouses look at porn together, while others feel like they have to hide it or sneak because their partner consider it "cheating."
I can't tell you whether or not you're really happy. Maybe you should explore this with a counselor? Couple's counseling (make sure the counselor is gay-friendly) might help the two of you work through your issues and find a compromise.
Hopefully some others will jump in with suggestions. You may want to repost this over on the Sex & Relationships Community to get more support, since this community is pretty quiet.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY. I LIVE IN SOUTH GA, SO THERE IS NOT ANY GAY FRIENDLY ANYTHIING ROUND HERE? I DO BELIEVE I TRUELY LOVE HIM, BUT IM NOT SURE. I FIND MYSELVE THINKING ABOUT MY EX SPOUCE OFTEN. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY PARTNER IM WITH NOW FOR FIVE YEARS AND IM ONLY 20. HE IS THE SECOND PERSON I HAVE BEEN WITH. I WAS MORE ATTRACTED TO HIM WHEN WE FIRST BECAME A COUPLE, BUT NOT SO MUCH NOW. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS. I DONT HAVE FAMILY AND I FEEL LIKE I MAY BE STICKING WITH HIM BE WE HAVE SO MUCH AND I WOULD HAVE NO WERE TO GO. I REALY DONT KNOW? ALSO, HE FOUND OUT I LOOKED AT PORN ONE TIME AND GOT HOSTILE!!! I DO STILL LOOK AT IT BUT ONLY WHEN HE IS AT WORK AT THE HOSPITAL. I WAS VERY ATTRACTIVE WHEN WE MET AND I HAVE GAINED 50LB AND CANT SEEM TO GET IT OFF. I FEEL VERY UNATTRACTIVE, AND LIKE I CANT GET ANYONE ELSE. I DONT WANT TO HURT OUR RELATIONSHIP BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE. AGAIN IM ONLY 20 AND NEVER BEEN OUT TO A NIGHT CLUB OR ANYTHING BC THE GUY I AM WITH IS SO CONTROLLNG. IM LOST AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO..
Welcome back, nrbatten and thanks for the follow-up. Here's a link to some possible LGBT Resources in Georgia . I would encourage you to call or e-mail, and ask if they can suggest any counseling and support groups for you to get the answers to your questions.
You may also want to consider some lifestyle changes that allow you to get out of the house more. Talk to your doctor about diet and exercise, as you've mentioned how you don't feel attractive with your 50lb weight gain.
You also mention being with your current partner for five years, which I don't know if it means you were of legal age when the two of you got together. If you feel like your partner may become violent, please talk to your local authorities or call one of these Crisis Resources .
Take care of yourself and update us when you get a chance,
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