Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up
lesbians and the army
avatar
speedyreccey posted:
I do not understand why gays and lesbians are not aloud in the ARMY or any branch of the service. I am a lesbian and I am going to join the ARMY,... it is not only one of the biggest desions I am going to make of my life but on top of it I am going to have to hide myself from everyone and every thing and I am not the kind of girl that would do that I just what to be excepted for who I am weather i am stright or a lesbian.(i did not wake up one day and just desided to be a lesbian) But I am scard that I could get into a lot of drama.I dont no if I am making the right choice by joining but the only thing holding be back is the fact that I am a lesbian and gays are not aloud in the ARMY. I just want to serve my country and my self like every other person who is in the ARMY or anyother branch.It is not like I am going to hit on any of the girls I have a G/F and i wouldnt screw it up ever. I want to better myself and I no that the ARMY can help me to do that. If any one has any advice on this sub. or could help me to understand why gays cant be in the ARMY please let me no.Or if you just have anything to add i am open to hear what you all have to say. :smile: thank you
Reply
 
avatar
Louise_WebMD_Staff responded:
My advice--if you are worried about the drama and want to stay in the relationship you are in now, then skip the military. Don't ask, Don't tell is a rough way to live. I know a lot of women (and men) who have done it. They appreciate many things about the military life, but the don't ask, don't tell and the strain on relationships took its toll in the end. Of course, it is hard on straight couples too.
 
avatar
naussle responded:
Did you know that if you join and it is found out that you are gay that they can court martial you for false enlistment. You would have to pay back your bonus (if you get one) among other things. I've seen it happen. Just keep you mouth closed to everyone! Also, in boot camp the drill sergeants can open you mail and read it. So, be super careful! you can't trust anyone!
 
avatar
falcon2112 responded:
All I can say is follow your heart. If enlisting is what you want then do it. I am an AirForce veteran and would not trade my military experience for anything in the world. There is not a day that I don't wish I was still there but I completed my first tour of duty (where ironically, I met my first girlfriend) and have now moved on in my life. I will not sugar coat it, it is a very difficult life. Military and civilian life are very different. There are not only the rules that every JQ Public has to follow but also military rules, specifically the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). And guess what, if you are at any point investigated, be it because of accusations or truths, there are stiff penalities for being homosexual. Sad but true. If you decide to join be aware that the military is a very small world. It's like living in a very small town where everyone knows everyone else. Depending on where you are stationed could make that world even smaller. I was stationed in a very small town so I always had to be aware of where I was and who was around me. Public displays of affection, even the most insignificant like a caress of the hand, can be noticed. Remember, you will be around prodominatly straight people who aren't used to seeing women being affectionate so that will stand out immediately. Discretion is the word but you have to understand that you also have to have the commerodery with your fellow soldiers. You will be responsible for your fellow soldiers lives as they will be responsible for yours, that is why it is very difficult to be gay/lesbian when all those around you rely on trust. You will meet your fellow soldiers girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, husbands but because of prejudice and/or ignorance they will never know the real you. If you can live with that by all means, serve the country you live in proudly. I for one will greatfully appreciate it. This past Tuesday was Veterans Day and I proudly displayed my AirForce pride. I am a woman, I am a lesbian, and I am a prould United States Veteran. No one will ever be able to take that away. Follow your heart, just be aware of what you will be in for. I hope this helps.
 
avatar
speedyreccey responded:
thanks Falcon2112 its nice to hear from a lesbian who has been there done that. and if there is anything alce that I should no please enlighten me. Also thanks to everyone alce who has posted.
 
avatar
CharleneHefel responded:
I am joining in May. Im Transgendered, but I think tht the things i can get from the ARMY is worth the nervousness tht i have. I dont have to tell anyone. niether do you. but you also dont have to deny it. Who you are is more important than who they want you to be. you want to serve your country? serve it. its yours no matter sexual orientation.
 
avatar
MightyBobcat responded:
Serve your country if that is what you want to do. Watch yourself though. Accusations are enough in the military. If a guy (who is a jerk) asks you out and you decline it wouldn't be out of the question for him to accuse you of being lesbian. In the civ' world that wouldn't amount to much in the military it can be a career (or enlistment) fatality. Falcon is dead on when she said that the military is like a small town. There is very little privacy and since everyone is expected to be uniform in appearence and personality differences stand out. The military is like everything else, weigh the risks and decide if it's worth it to you. It was the best decision I ever made. Good luck :)
 
avatar
MehAmber responded:
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost four years. She was really excited about defending our country and decided to join up shortly after we began dating. She thought that she could deal with the "Dont Ask Dont Tell Policy" but found out it was a lot harder to deal with than she had thought. She was ashamed because she felt that she was lying by playing along with their little rule. She and I felt that it wasn't right for heterosexual people to talk about their lives and loves when she was not allowed to mention our relationship at all. One day she slipped in front of one of the superiors that she had a girlfriend (I had had a seizure and she was my emergency contact and she was upset), the next morning she was discharged from the military. She was very good, and was climbing the ranks quickly. She was happy doing what she'd always dreamed of doing, and when it was all over she was a wreck. It's dissappointing to be turned away from what you love doing because of some silly rule that doesn't even make sense. I hope you really consider this before you join up. It hurt her when the people she was supposed to trust with her life and who she was meant to protect, hated her for being gay. i would hate to know anyone else had to put up with all she had to put up with. :smile: sorry if i babbled....... :wink:
 
avatar
cherryqq responded:
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE :happy: can you keep a secret if you can then great. in my country (Jamaica) they are very much over homophobic and would do extrem things if they knew you were a lesbian or gay but guess what I AM A LESBIAN an no one but my girl friend knows about it. we spend alot of time together and they would never have guessed it. "IT'S NOT SO MUCH WHAT YOU DO IT'S HOW YOU DO IT." go join the army just be very careful it's not fair but hey life itself is unfair :cool: :wink:


Spotlight: Member Stories

My Story: I've been here at WebMD since 2007, but I've been involved in social media and moderated communities online since 1994, so you know...More

Helpful Tips

Be the first to post a Tip!

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.