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Life I want it back............
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sbpmp posted:
I have been alone for 18 months, the hole in my sole has not healed. life has become more of a game. At work, I do my job, I laugh, help others with there needs, with my family i do the same, I just got tired of all the oh you will be fine, you strong, you will make it. I miss him so much, I feel like I have no one to talk to, then I feel guilty, who wans to hear about my life as it is now, so goes the game.
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wifeofnamvet responded:
sbpmp i'm sorry for your loss....i know exactly how you feel, it will be a year this month that my husband passed and i can't stand being without him....i said grief is cruel...your dying on the inside while you look like your living on the outside....it seems like there was so much to talk about when he was here....now it's just empty...life is different now and i don't like it.....i hope it helps a little to know your not alone in how your feeling....i hope we can talk again.....i wish you well and hope your heart can heal...
 
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sbpmp replied to wifeofnamvet's response:
I am so sorry for your loss, your thoughts were very special for me. I know I need to get off the pitty pot, but that is easier said than done. You have lost so much in such a short time, my heart aches for you. We are on the same nightmare path to which I don't see a end, but I wont give up hope and I hope you wont either. I don't know the answer to get some peace back in my sole, Just one day, one night at a time I guess. Our 26th wedding anniversary is the day before Thanksgiving, so I will be gratefull for the memories I have. I wish you well and Thank you for your thoughts, I will keep you in my prayers.
 
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wifeofnamvet replied to sbpmp's response:
I know how hard it will be for you on the 23rd (( hugs))...my husband passed away nov 29th just 10 days before our 37th wedding anniversary and his funeral was 6 days before our anniversary....this Thanksgiving I will have 3 men that were close to my heart missing at dinner ( i lost my 2 brothers last year also)...the laughter won't be there ...nothing is the same...there is no normal life anymore, I hate not having him to share anything with, I hate doing everything alone, I keep going because I love my son too much to let him down..he is very close to both of us and tries to be strong for me...he lives 4 hours from me and i wish he was closer....Do you have children? I'm sure you know you can be in a crowded room and feel all alone...It's all the little things that keep me crying..I don't like the change it's brought to my life....But I too will cling to hope and faith ...I know the lord must be carrying me through this because he knows i'm not strong enough yet to walk through it...your in my prayers also..I wish you well and hope your heart can heal..
 
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bonnieindiana responded:
sbpmp: I am writing you because I read your story.....I can relate to the "GAME" thing.....I had to look at it the same way after my Boyfriend (life partner) died almost two years ago this Feb.....We had been together for 8 yrs and were just making the next steps to getting married in 1 month and he got sick, then passed 2 weeks later....I found myself in a whirl wind over the next 6 to 8 months......WOW....it was BAD. One day I told myself - just fake it. GET UP and take a deep breath and fake it......I knew I had to start living again, but had no idea HOW.....Everything had changed!! I had no what "I" call "WANT TO" for anything on this earth anymore.....I just didn't want to eat, go to work, clean the house, pay my bills....nothing! I wasnt ME anymore.....so i did what I think you have done......so goes the game. In short I just wanted to see how you are doing 2 yrs later...and let you know - you have a friend here.....I would like to converese and kinda figure out where you are at and me too. ??? If you are interested.... Bless you!


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