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    Do I have ptdd
    papajack154 posted:
    On Dec 12, 2008 I was engaged to be married in May 2009. When I woke up this morning I found my fiancee dead on the couch. I went into shock and don't remember much for 4 days. I felt that my heart had been ripped to piecies. I have not gotten a good nights sleep in the last 2 years it seems I stay awake so this won't happen again. I'm also scarred that I may not wake up in the morning. This even sounds crazy to me. I do have flashbacks of finding her dead although these have decressed lately. I seem to be appathetic towards simple functions like paying bills, I'm also totally and permantley disabled with failed back syndrome which doesn't leave me the option to put myself into work. It has been just over 2 years and now I have a very kind and caring women who came into my life 3 months ago. I didn't ask her to date me she asked me. I find myself stuck in the past which deepens my depression. I have chronic severe long term depression which makes every thing that much more difficult. Thanks to anyone who could advise me on this.
    papajack154 responded:
    I want to clarify one thing. the sentance "when I woke up this morning" should have been" I woke up on Dec 12"
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Hi Papajack and welcome here, and I'm sorry for your need to be here.

    I hope you'll keep talking here but also hope you'll consider this a first step to getting help beyond here.... some grief therapy may really help. Whatever the diagnosis - depression, PTSD, simple grief - that doesn't really matter. What does matter is that you are still having problems functioning despite some time having passed and a new, kind person in your life. Don't turn away from that kindness, and get the help you need. You deserve nothing less. (((hugs)))
    papajack154 replied to papajack154's response:
    Yes I tried to fix that because when I reread it I knew it was going to confuse people.
    Sorry I wish I could have corrected that
    papajack154 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    Thank you so much for the kind words of encourgment. I just want to be able to sleep. That could be a start and I want you to know I am going to take your suggestions and run with then, Thank you so very much
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to papajack154's response:
    I hope you get that sleep, Papajack! I have a chronic pain condition which includes a sleep disorder and I've learned how precious a good night's sleep can be and how it really wreaks havoc with our lives when we don't get that sleep.

    I hope you'll check in now and then and let us know how you're doing.

    (And no worries about the typo; I figured it out. :-) )

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