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All communities will be placed in read-only mode (you will be able to see and search for posts but not start or reply to discussions) as we conduct maintenance. We will make another announcement when posting is re-opened. Thank you for your continued support and patience, and if you have any further questions, please email

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lostyetstrong posted:
On Thanksgiving day my dad told us that the lump on his cheek that only had a 2% chance of being cancer was cancer and in his lymthnodes. Our lives would never be the same again. After two canceled operations. Things got worse, he had the operation the day after Christmas. Things went wrong and it was one operation after another. It was killing our family watching him suffer. On Jan. 11th we brought him home. That night he died. Once again my family will never be the same. I know I am 41 years old, but I feel like a helpless child who lost her dad's hand in a busy store. I see people rushing around me but I am afraid to move. I feel like there is no hand to reach back for me. I feel selfish for feeling this way when my mom lost her true soulmate. I feel like I need to be there for her. I need to be there for my daughter who lost her buddy and my sister who lost her best friend. I feel guilty for feeling jealous about others happiness. I know he is no longer in pain and sometime that makes me feel relieved. Other times I just want to wakeup from this awful dream. How can I help my family through this? How do I keep from be swept away in everyone elses sarrow?
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Dear one,

Everything you're feeling is very normal, including that jealousy. This loss is still so new for all of you that you're still reeling. Keep taking care of yourself - physically and otherwise - allow yourself to grieve, to cry, lean on each other. No one person has to support everyone else in the family. You're all suffering and it's going to take time.

Gather strength from each other and don't isolate from each other by pretending you're okay when you're not.

Be gentle with yourself and keep talking here if it helps.

I am so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))

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