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my mom was diagnosed lung cancer
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twoangels55555 posted:
my mom was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in january 2008 had chemo and radiation but now has hospice iwas wondering if anyway can give me ways to try and cope with her impending death im having a real hard time right now .? she is my best friend and i just cant deal with it right now .
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Dear Twoangels,

I'm so sorry for all you are facing right now. I hope that as the week goes by, others who have been there will be posting with their support and insight.

Lean on others as much as you need to. Talk here if it helps. Say everything you want to say to her so nothing is left unsaid. Be very gentle with yourself. You will get through this but it's not going to be easy. But in some ways what you have now is a gift not everyone has... the chance to say everything you need to. *softhugs*

Also, talk with the hospice people.... they may have some ideas to help you through this.
 
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nacolyn responded:
I am so sorry to hear about your mothers diagnosis. My advise to you, is to spend as much quality time as possible with her. Talk about the old days, and let her know how much she means to you. My father passed away 21 months ago, today, and unfortunately, we did not have the chance to say goodbye. I have often wondered which would be easier. I know, that If I had known that he was leaving me so soon, I would have said many things to him.
 
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charleena1965 responded:
ive been there.my mom and i talked everyday 4 or 5 times a day.when she got sick i went to spend 10 months with her.her and my brother were diagnosed the same week for lung cancer.he was supposed to have surgery to remove his lung,but it took to long to get medicaid.he died2 months after diagnosis.so i tried to be strong for mom.i put off my pain and emotions so i would not upset her.not a good idea.you need to make sure you take a few minutes for yourself too.there are things she probably wants and needs to talk about now so just be there for her.you will treasure this time forever.that was 5 yrs ago we lost mom,we lost dad 2 weeks ago to lung cancer.it is hard but you will learn to deal with it.it never goes away,but i promise it does get easier.im sorry im rambling this is the first time in awhile ive really talked about it.thats why i say take time for your pain too.hospice will supply you with counseling just ask.i wish i had.they are angels.if possible you might want to record conversations with your mom now so later you can look back.it can be very comforting.there will be a time when she wont seem to know who you are,but deep down she knows.just make sure you tell her you love her often.may god bless you and your family in this time
 
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nitika775 responded:
Iam so sorry you are going through this. My mother had hospice as well before she died. I wrote my mom a letter and gave it to her in the nursing home. When she went to read it I realized she wasnt comprehending anything she was seeing. She died a week later in my arms and I kept the letter I wrote her and read it to her at her funeral. So she could hear me loud and clear. Have no regrets. Say what you need to. Be there for her. Much love to you.
 
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carolyn2007 responded:
I really can understand your problem my mom was diagnosed in may of 2007. and she also had a brain tumor. it was a really hard time because my mom got sick really fast. so my heart goes out to you. hospice is the best people in the world. sad to say my mom died 4 months later. i am so sorry. it has been a year already and it has been a hard one. she really tried to fight but like i said it hit hard. Spend all of your time with her i was very close to my mom. so it hurts me everyday. if you every need someone i am here. It really hurts because they are healthy one min then sick the next. Let me know the out come. please!!!!
 
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twoangels55555 responded:
hi carolyn thank you so much for your kindness my mom is not doing well right now she is bedridden and the cancer has spread to her brain she has become very forgetful i am so sad i spend all my time with her been taking lots of video even before she was sick so i can have those to look at one day she is my best friend it is devastating for me right now .. ill keep in touch so sorry or your loss.
 
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essiejene responded:
my mom had no symptoms in May of cancer. we went to hospital for a aneurism fix in her abdomen. During the Pre-Op tests they found melanoma cancer in her brain and lungs. they told us that if she didn't do treatment she would be gone in 3 weeks and if we did treatment she still only had a year. When they told her about this, she looked great, felt great. She chose the treatments of chemo for the lung cancer, radiation for the brain, and finally gamma knife surgery for the brain. She really went down quick even with this treatment. Mom passed December 4 at home. She did not know where she was I don't think. She was my mom, my very best friend, we vacationed together, talked to each other every day. My dad is 78 and my sister and I are trying to ease his pain...married 56 years. I don't think he is going to make it....or even wants to make it. My heart is broken, I'm on 3 different antidepressants, I am functioning to work and take care of dad but I am numb. I wish I knew what was best to do. I go by her grave every week and it just kills me. I miss her so much it hurts, I miss her smile. I have her voice on tape, but just can't listen to it. What is wrong with me.
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Dear Essiejean,

I'm sorry your post was missed on this older discussion. Our boards have recently changed and I was now able to spot it.

I don't know if you're still reading here but I'm so very sorry for your loss and your pain. It's now over a month since you posted... how are you doing?

Your loss is still very recent. Keep taking care of yourself. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Try to do things for yourself. It does get better, easier. It takes time and a lot of self-nurturing.

Be gentle with yourself.

Thinking of you and your dad.
 
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laxrrr responded:
Hi. I completely understand how you feel. In 2006 my mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. It metastasized from her left lung to her brain where 3 tumors were created. She had brain surgery to remove one and the rest were treated with radiation. The tumor in her lung was treated with chemo. She lived with the disease for two years and died about 11 months ago on Thursday. She was my best friend and I loved her very much. I am having a really hard time dealing with it also. It's extremely painful. The one thing I can say is that you need to surround yourself with people who love, care, and support you. I have a great small circle of friends. My family kind of split after she passed so I rely on the for that familial support. I also do A LOT. I work, go to grad school, play sports, and dance. It helps but sometimes keeps me from actually dealing with the loss. It's really hard and there's no right way to handle these sorts of life gut punches.

I don't know if this helped but if you ever need to talk or just want to vent, please feel free to email me. I know what it's like to feel like no one understands. It's an extremely painful thing and you shouldn't have to deal with you emotions and feelings a lone.

briana.milton@yahoo.com
 
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poookie65 responded:
My mother my best friend passed last feb 26 2008 @7:15am on a tuesday. She was diagnosed with lung/bone cancer mid jan and died a month later!!!!!!!!!!!!! We never expected her to die within a month!!!!!!!!!! My life was ripped apart in so MANY ways. My heart was ripped out of my body and half of me died that day. My mom judi was only 61 years old.

Whatching her being delusional and hallucinating the time she was diagnoed to the day she died was HEARTBREAKING! I lost mom as she lost her mind. No cancer in her brain it was just the meds. We never had a heart to heart b4 she sleft this world. That was the hardest part.

While looking at my mom i wanted her to pass she was in so much pain from a fractured back. That pain is what killed her faster. Seeing her mind go and the pain she was in... i didn;t want her to live like this it was no life. Then in hospice.... i was think please just let go... then i was thinking your my mom I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the hardest thing i have ever been through in my life. I never met my dad so thankgod! I don't need to geo through another dying parent.

I'm still in shock it happened way to fast to comprehend. My mom..... my best friend is DEAD!.. My mom...... my mom...........

I understand everybody's feelings

monica
 
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missmymom2 responded:
my mom was diagnosed on President's Day 2009 with non-small cell lung cancer and died on Easter (about 8 weeks later). She thought she had pulled a muscle shoveling snow and found out she had two lg tumors on her vertebrae and one had already fractured her T-12 causing her to lose leg function and some nerve damage. I still have sporatic outbreaks of grief, but all I can tell you is to spend as much time with your mom as possible and tell her how much you love her as many times as you can everyday and just be there for her. It's been a couple months now, and the pain is still so raw and vivid, but the good memories of my mom are slowly starting to replace my sadness, grief and feelings of loneliness. These support websites are good place to turn also, so you're already moving in a good direction. You will be in my prayers.
 
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anglmom responded:
I lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer Sept. 17, 2008. I miss her every day but I don't have any regrets as far as how we spent her last months together. Spend time with her, do everything she would want. I threw my mom a party at hospice and invited everyone she wanted to be there. Tell your mom whatever you need to tell her before it is too late. I lost my daughter 9 years ago and I made sure I asked my mom that when her time came to somehow let me know she has my angel girl. There is no wrong or right way to go through what you are going through. Do what is in your heart and you have to accept that she is going to pass. My mom only lived for 3 months and it was a horrible time for me-I am the only girl-but somehow you get through it. I hope you have a support group of friends and family because you need to them to get through. Please feel free to contact me if you like and God Bless you.
 
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Kowalski42 replied to nitika775's response:
My mom has lung cancer.We found out in August.She wants to die at home.She wants no chemo or radiation.She has lost control of her bodily funtions.She cant remember what day or time it is.I think she needs hospice.My sister won't give in.I'm fighting a losing battle.I love my mom.I don't want her to suffer.
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to Kowalski42's response:
Oh Kowalski, I am so sorry. (((((hugs)))))

Do you have any support for YOU through this? Please feel free to keep talking here as much as you need to.


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