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My friend lost his best friend 3 months ago and has pulled away from friends & family
BBChase posted:
My friend lost his best friend 3 months ago very suddenly at the age of 19 to pneumonia. His grieving has caused him to pull away from friends and family. He feels guilty if he's happy and has turned to drugs and alcohol to cover his pain. I've tried talking to him about seeing a grief counselor but he thinks it will just make him start feeling happy again and he doesn't think he deserves it. I am scared for him because he's seems to be getting worse. I'm afraid he's going to hurt himself when he's under the influence. I'm very scared and don't know what to do. Should I tell his parents, but then he will never trust me again. No one else can see his pain like I do because he tells me everything and his fakes happiness so no one can see what he is really feeling. Please someone help!
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi BBChase,

It sounds like you have a right to be concerned. That he's grieving is understandable, of course, but his coping strategies aren't healthy and perhaps focus on that and encourage him to reach out to AA or NA, etc.

But since you ask whether you should tell his parents... if he isn't yet an adult, my thoughts (and I'm not an expert) is yes.

You're right in thinking he may not trust you after this but you could be saving his life.

You're in a difficult situation. (((hugs)))

Let us know how this goes for you and him.
BBChase replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:

Thank you for the advice. My friend is 19 and doesn't live at home anymore. He moved out when he started pulling away from everyone. I will keep trying to convince him that he needs to seek counseling. I will let you know how things turn out.
Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to BBChase's response:
You also may want to post on our Substance Abuse community as well. We just got some new experts there from the Betty Ford Center and while their responses won't be instantaneous, they may be able to offer some guidance.

And yes, please keep us updated. And take care of yourself through this too.

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