Caprice, it's been a long time since I have posted on here but I wanted to come back here and post an update. For the past several months I have been trying to deal with the pain left from my aunt's death, almost 3 years ago. Things have been very tough, and made more complicated by the poor treatment I have received from certain people. I have spent the past several months in a deep dark fog, with moments of light appearing while I spend time with my niece. A few weeks ago I went back to the psychologist because I felt myself sinking. She saw that I was more stressed and restless than usual and suggested I look at a website called: healthjourneys.com She told me that on this site you can buy guided imagery CDs to help with various issues. I started by downloading a free 15 minute clip. I started listening to this clip every day, and it actually seems to help. What I figured out is that there was still a lot of pain and sadness in me which I hadn't been able to allow myself to express. Listening to this clip helped me relax enough to let my guard down, and let the emotions out, that I've been trying to ignore. I wouldn't say that things are great now. But I finally feel like there is some hope left in this life. Like maybe one day I will be okay.
Thanks Caprice. I never thought I would do something like guided imagery, as I thought that it was something that quacks and weaklings used. But I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. And I'm so glad I tried it. I can't remember the last time I actually felt relaxed and not wound up, stressed out, and at the end of my rope. The first few times that the emotions started flowing, I thought I was losing my mind. But the relief that came afterward was amazing. I never knew crying could feel so good. And I will definately keep coming here to post updates. You and this group helped pull me through some of the most difficult times in my life, and I thank you for that.
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