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    Caprice - It's a start, "thank you." Type of therapist recommendation PLEASE?
    An_198068 posted:
    Thank you most kindly, I will take your advice to heart. I feel strongly I could use therapy but am afraid of what is to come out. I have a loving heart but also a lot of anger inside that I feel has been suppressed. That has been the downfall since my beloved father's passing. I don't think it has anything to do with age because i can say almost for certain it began those 6 years ago today during the time my father was fighting for his life and his death.

    Would you be able to direct me to what type of therapist I might seek? I have no idea of what I should look for, a psychologist, psychiatrist, talk therapist, because i recognize my problems and that I need to take measures to work through them, I've also found & read some good self help books that have had trustworthy ratings but it seems no matter how much I read of myself in them I have yet to know just how to really 'fix' things without feeling like I will hurt someone. I know I need to be strong, more than that I want to be a better person. I have a truly sincere and loving heart but my anger is pushed down inside of me too aand it is not a part of me I am proud of nor to I ever want to embrace, it is a shame really. I think family issues are deep and whether or not I am able to successfully express myself will remain to be seen. I just would really be interested to know where to start, i mean what kind of professional should I be talking to, any suggestions as to a good place for me to start. Again, forgive me but I would prefer to seek someone who has no religious views or at least someone who would not try to push their beliefs off on me. Thank you from 'my heart...'
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Hi Sabine,

    I am no expert myself but my understanding is that you would not need a psychiatrist, rather a psychologist or therapist who does talk therapy and who understands family dynamics and issues around grieving.

    You can ask your doctor for a referral or even through the phone book and have a list of questions when you call such as how much they charge, when they can see you (make sure it fits into your own schedule), their training, how long they've been working, etc. And when you go to one, give them more than one session to decide whether it's a good fit for you or not. It may take a bit of time to find one that suits your needs but you are worth that effort.

    And if you don't want a religious perspective, that shouldn't be hard as long as you avoid organizations which are clearly religious-based.

    When it comes to self-help books, find ones which include workbooks, exercises that you work through and actually follow through on. Sometimes we can intellectualize our problems and, as you found, never really get to the point of changing/learning/growing.

    'Feeling Good' is a book often recommended by our members and uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as an approach.

    Let us know how it goes. I really appreciate you coming back here and updating us.
    Sabine48 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    Thank you so much for your suggestions. I have read some self help books and a few have had workbook type quesitonaires. I've actually found one that I read over a year ago whichoddly is speaking to me in a whole different way than the first time I picked it up. It's as if it's right where I am with my beloved mom. It's called Mama Drama! What a title but what a wealth of wonderful insight and information.

    It could be I will seek out therapy if I don't feel I can improve more on my own. I remember the first one seemed such a mis-match after my third session, it was just all wrong and it was then I realized it might not be easy to find someone right awy so I gave it up to trying to help myself.

    Thank you for the tip on "Feeling Good," working to improve my life and gain helpful knowledge about the best way to do that is important to me. I still hope I can figure things out on my own but I will also give in to knowing when enough is enough if my behavior & outlook towards the relationship with my mother continues in a negative light.

    Thank you for taking the time. I can see how very much your help means on this board. I appreciate YOU taking the time to care. I hope you find yourself on the receiving end of that caring more often than not. No doubt you do.

    Grace & Peace,
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to Sabine48's response:
    You are very welcome, Sabine!

    It sounds like you are doing some good work. Self help books have been helpful to me over the years and I totally get how a book or music or show can have a completely different meaning and impact when you're more ready for them. :-)

    Thanks so much for the update. I really do like hearing how you all are doing. :-)

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