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I hurt for my daughter - but she's not hurting....
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An_198071 posted:
My daughter didnt have boyfriends in high school. She met someone at college and he basically used her. She met and fell in love and tey married only for him to tell her less than 2 years later he was no longer in love with her. They divorced and she had a very short term relationship with someone who yet again broke her heart. She is now in a relationship that is 4 months old and he is pulling away with no explanation, no returning her calls, her texts, etc. My problem is, I get so very upset and cry all the time because I dont understand WHY... Why are they doing this to her - she is so nice and such a gerat person. And I dont know why I let this totally distract me from my entire life! I am a professional woman who has a wonderful high-end job and I deal with all kinds of stressful situations and am always in control - I do not fluster easily. I just want happiness for my daughter. I dont know why I cannot stay out of her personal life. Shetells me I am driving her crazy and she is not as bothered by the situation as I am!
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
It's hard when our children (no matter how grown) are in situations that we feel are unhealthy or hurtful to them. I know it is for me too sometimes and mine are in their late 20s.

I'm no expert at all, just someone who has had her own issues in life, so this is just my opinion....

Unfortunately, being 'nice' doesn't always get you treated well. Believing you deserve better treatment and standing up for yourself does. But that can take a while to learn.

You might want to pick up a book on boundaries and do some reading to see if it helps both you and her.

There's nothing wrong with caring, dear one. But it sounds like it's impacting your life quite a bit (even though your daughter seems okay). If this continues, consider seeing a therapist for a few sessions to figure this all out.


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