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In-home hospice care of father
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niteflier posted:
I believe I posted my situation, but cannot find it.
4 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:In-home hospice care of fatherI believe I posted my situation, but cannot find it.
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Niteflier,

You posted it on another board:

Click here

But I'm glad you found your way here to the Grief & Loss community too and hope you'll share your experience and need for support here too.
Report This| Share this:In-home hospice care of fatherHi Niteflier,<br /><br />You posted it on another board:<br /><br /><a href="http://forums.webmd.com/3/depression-exchange/forum/8422/0"><b>Click here</b></a> <br /><br />But I'm glad you found your way here to the Grief &amp; Loss community too and hope you'll share your experience and need for support here too.
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niteflier replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thank you Caprice for your reply - apologize- I was having a pity party that night not knowing what to do. I called my fathers wife and she has not returned my call. She did return my sister's call, which is good. I am now at the point I will not make further attempts at contacting her. I did medicate her husband, my father and she said the medication killed him....i.e. therefore I did. His family shared that feeling. The tension was so bad the hospice nurse told me to stay in a hotel the day he died for my safety. I ended up staying with his wife because her children said they were not going to stay with her. I could not leave her alone. I understand her not wanting to talk to me and cannot fathom her grief. Unfortunately she and her family feel I and my siblings do not feel any loss (we grew up without him where her family was raised by him). My sister is mad about that.....i don't know how I feel about their comments as I do not understand them. I was an outsider and should not have been there for him, but how could I not. I'm tired. Thank you for the ear.
Niteflier
Report This| Share this:In-home hospice care of fatherThank you Caprice for your reply - apologize- I was having a pity party that night not knowing what to do. I called my fathers wife and she has not returned my call. She did return my sister's call, which is good. I am now at the point I will not make further attempts at contacting her. I did medicate her husband, my father and she said the medication killed him....i.e. therefore I did. His family shared that feeling. The tension was so bad the hospice nurse told me to stay in a hotel the day he died for my safety. I ended up staying with his wife because her children said they were not going to stay with her. I could not leave her alone. I understand her not wanting to talk to me and cannot fathom her grief. Unfortunately she and her family feel I and my siblings do not feel any loss (we grew up without him where her family was raised by him). My sister is mad about that.....i don't know how I feel about their comments as I do not understand them. I was an outsider and should not have been there for him, but how could I not. I'm tired. Thank you for the ear.
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to niteflier's response:
I hope that you and your sister can support each other through this as it sounds like no one else is being in any way understanding. (((hugs)))

I am so sorry for all you've been going through. You don't have to apologize for anything. This is a LOT to deal with and I hope that one day you will be able to recognize and appreciate your worth and strength. I just wish I could give you real hugs.
Report This| Share this:In-home hospice care of fatherI hope that you and your sister can support each other through this as it sounds like no one else is being in any way understanding. (((hugs)))<br /><br />I am so sorry for all you've been going through. You don't have to apologize for anything. This is a LOT to deal with and I hope that one day you will be able to recognize and appreciate your worth and strength. I just wish I could give you real hugs.<br />
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niteflier replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thank you again for your kind words.

my sister went through over 5 years on phone therapy when our brother died (called every day - couldnt lean on her then and would not now - and i do not fault her for that) I don't say to much to her as I don't want her to fall in that deep depression again (she will not seek help - meds helped but she was more afraid of addiction than depression). right now she is angry (perhaps a good thing), i do listen and talk to her just do not recripricate 'sharing' of my feelings.

i'm a little nervous about going home in june, but i have already committed and do want to see my mother.

I also committed to visit my dad's wife next time i am there. not looking forward to it, but its the right thing to do. hopefully she will let me know if she doesnt want me there when i call to tell her when i will be there.

thank you for the virtual hugs
Niteflier
Report This| Share this:In-home hospice care of fatherThank you again for your kind words. <br /> <br />my sister went through over 5 years on phone therapy when our brother died (called every day - couldnt lean on her then and would not now - and i do not fault her for that) I don't say to much to her as I don't want her to fall in that deep depression again (she will not seek help - meds helped but she was more afraid of addiction than depression). right now she is angry (perhaps a good thing), i do listen and talk to her just do not recripricate 'sharing' of my feelings.<br /> <br />i'm a little nervous about going home in june, but i have already committed and do want to see my mother.<br /> <br />I also committed to visit my dad's wife next time i am there. not looking forward to it, but its the right thing to do. hopefully she will let me know if she doesnt want me there when i call to tell her when i will be there.<br /> <br />thank you for the virtual hugs <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0">
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