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In-home hospice care of father
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niteflier posted:
I believe I posted my situation, but cannot find it.
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Niteflier,

You posted it on another board:

Click here

But I'm glad you found your way here to the Grief & Loss community too and hope you'll share your experience and need for support here too.
 
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niteflier replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thank you Caprice for your reply - apologize- I was having a pity party that night not knowing what to do. I called my fathers wife and she has not returned my call. She did return my sister's call, which is good. I am now at the point I will not make further attempts at contacting her. I did medicate her husband, my father and she said the medication killed him....i.e. therefore I did. His family shared that feeling. The tension was so bad the hospice nurse told me to stay in a hotel the day he died for my safety. I ended up staying with his wife because her children said they were not going to stay with her. I could not leave her alone. I understand her not wanting to talk to me and cannot fathom her grief. Unfortunately she and her family feel I and my siblings do not feel any loss (we grew up without him where her family was raised by him). My sister is mad about that.....i don't know how I feel about their comments as I do not understand them. I was an outsider and should not have been there for him, but how could I not. I'm tired. Thank you for the ear.
Niteflier
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to niteflier's response:
I hope that you and your sister can support each other through this as it sounds like no one else is being in any way understanding. (((hugs)))

I am so sorry for all you've been going through. You don't have to apologize for anything. This is a LOT to deal with and I hope that one day you will be able to recognize and appreciate your worth and strength. I just wish I could give you real hugs.
 
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niteflier replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thank you again for your kind words.

my sister went through over 5 years on phone therapy when our brother died (called every day - couldnt lean on her then and would not now - and i do not fault her for that) I don't say to much to her as I don't want her to fall in that deep depression again (she will not seek help - meds helped but she was more afraid of addiction than depression). right now she is angry (perhaps a good thing), i do listen and talk to her just do not recripricate 'sharing' of my feelings.

i'm a little nervous about going home in june, but i have already committed and do want to see my mother.

I also committed to visit my dad's wife next time i am there. not looking forward to it, but its the right thing to do. hopefully she will let me know if she doesnt want me there when i call to tell her when i will be there.

thank you for the virtual hugs
Niteflier


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