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Dealing with Loss of Family Member
wrigley2012 posted:
Hi, first time poster.

I'm middle-aged female, relatively healthy. I lost a close family member (my aunt) in October 2011 to cancer. It was quite sudden, diagnosed in August, Surgery in September, 4 weeks in hospital, 3 weeks at Hospice. We lived together for 15 years. I'm close to my parents (both still living) and sibling, but my aunt was like my 2nd mother. I've had some counseling, ended in December. Been doing relatively well until recently. Now I feel as if I am just going through the motions. I haven't departed from any of my normal routines. But I keep having thoughts as to what I am doing now is good enough for her, if she would be happy with the way I am living. Her last words to me were "I hope you are happy with your life". Sometimes I think that means what I have accomplished or am accomplishing do not meet her expectations (which is pretty much what I have always tried to do). Now that she is gone I keep think I have to hold up to her expectations, and lately I question everything I decide to do, from going on a one day trip, to where I choose to spend my money. My parents have asked me multiple times over the last couple weeks why I am so quiet. I don't think I am any different than I was a year a go. But I don't know. Any thoughts? Thanks.

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