lost my mom 9/12/12 after a mixed up series of events. the doctors cant tell me why she died, she went into afib and 3 meds werent enough to stop it. i had to make the decision to take her off and let her go, by myself. now i do everything alone
Sometimes our loved ones aren't able to help us through life here on earth like they would be able to from Heaven. The cravings of holding them again hurt and that might never go away. Some of us don't want it to go away because of fear of forgetting them. But we will always have our memories of them and our faith that we will see them again thanks to our Savior. I am sorry for your heart ache and unanswered why's and what if's. We never know when our loved ones will be called home to Heavenly Father. But I believe and know from experience that they visit us in dreams and in spirit. They sometimes hold our hands and wrap us in a warm hug that is hard to explain the feeling and sometimes hard to recognize. We have to be the ones that ask for that experience in our prayers and be in tune with it. They love us and your mother had to have loved you because that's what Mom's do best. They love and watch over their children. May the Holy Ghost provide you with peace and comfort that us as humans sometimes cannot.
I have been so disappointed by how people try to "help" me get through this grief. I'm not a Christian so references to God don't help. One friend is in AA but doesn't understand that grief and addiction aren't even close to being the same. Others have just dropped out of my life. They tell others how much they think of me but I never hear from them.
My mom died 20 years ago this coming April. I was alone, and taking care of her alone. I even bathed her. It took these 20 years to finally get over her death. No, I haven't forgotten her, nor will I, but I can think of her without the grief, etc. I have been in therapy and taking pills to deal with the depression and mania for the nearly 20 years. It was a long, hard road.
Even though I've been horribly depressed, I fought to get back to a level of functioning again.
I no longer teach children. I am now an artist. I teach adults with and without mental or physical disabilities how to knit, crochet, macramé, and more.
I currently have the best friends in my entirely life, and their presence has made quite a difference. It's too bad that one probably has cancer, and that I might lose that friend, too! Agony wants to slip in. She's here now, so I'm concentrating on that.
I'm inviting my friends over for cards and other games, and maybe I'll cook something, if it's not too expensive.
I know 20 years is a long time, but I made it. I hope you don't have to wait for 20 years to feel better.
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