Grumpy Groupies

you're just a secret flasher. he he he

You poor thing Cookie. I've had a few like that.

Worst moment: I'm at my last job and sooo have to you know, go. I finally get my break and practically run someone from hr down in the hallway, only to not make it in time and have to ask my male boss to send me home.

2: I'm in 5th grade and I've found this shirt pattern that I absolutely LOVE and made like three shirts off. Well, it's practically backless and in order for my bra not to show, my mom has to pin it to the back of the shirt. What little there is. Well, one day, the pin broke and everyone can see my bra. Which all the boys made no qualms about telling me.

3. 6th grade and it's picture day. My mom had made me this really nice navy jumper. So I decided to wear it. I looked like a fat sow in it. At least 15 boys must have asked me when I was "due".

4: Christmas 2011. Me and some friends from church had plans to go see another friend's son dance in the Nutcracker. We get to the theater and I learn that not only is my very nice skirt a little too long, but a little too big. It falls down in front of a huge crowd of people. I was so embarrassed.

5th, and this is the last you're getting out of me, Matt and I had been dating for about 3 months or so. I'm sharing a "suite" with three friends. We're making out all hot and heavy, when my roommate Angela walks in on you. Talk about embarrassed.

LOL my secret is out

OMG, Your first one, how embarrassing. Oh thats just awful.

#3, you poor sweet heart. Kids can be so very cruel. Kids used to tease me because I was flat chested. I HATED that.

#4 LOL Sorry to laugh honey.

#5 oops. Maybe you should have hung a sign on the door (do not enter) or something like that.

J, me and my sister shared an apt. and she walked in on me once and we weren't just *making out* either.

That's why that was the last time I shared a dorm room. I got a single the following year and lets just say we had fun. Plus I didn't have to explain to mom er my friend Angle why I stayed out past midnight. He he. What can I say??? Matt's a night owl, and some of our best "dates" were just driving to the Indiana/Illinois border just for the heck of it. God, I miss cruising. He keeps saying we're going to do it again, but something always comes up. Sigh. Maybe Tuesday. A girl can dream....

Have a good week-end Cookie.

J

J honey, I will tell you a very short story. There is a man named Vincent Ardolino Capt. of the Amberjack V. When the towers fell he was one of the Tug Boat Capt.s that rescued ppl off of the island, picking ppl up from the shore line, giving them a ride to the other side, over and over again. I think this man is very special. Anyways, the reason why I brought him up is because he has a saying that goes like this "Never go through life saying I SHOULD have".

So, you two need to get in your car and head for the border.

I've been telling him that for ages!!! But lately all I seem to do is fight with him and/or be so tired by the time we get home all I want to do is fix dinner and crash. So I guess until I get through this manic spell we won't be doing much of anything. Sigh.... Have a good week.

Jess

Hmmm...do I really reveal the "dirty stuff" or stick to the mundane everyday stuff.....?

Okie dokie....here we go. More shocking stuff about Melly.

1. I had a lovely get together several months after my divorce. Everyone had gone, except the one guy I had just started to seriously date. I owned quite a little collection of "marital aids." We'd held off on the spending the night thing while the kids were there until we were pretty sure it was going to be a permanent thing. No big deal. But during the party I parked my kids in my bedroom to watch their favorite movies. It had only been a couple of hours at most. So when it's all said and done, bf and I decided it was time to let the kids know we were serious and going to take the next step with him staying over with them there (ex had already done this with his now ex-wife). They were fine. Off to bed they went. We finished cleaning up and went in to go to bed. All over the floor were scattered a drawer full of marital aids. Bf knew all about them, so I was ok. Gathered them up, but one was missing. I looked EVERYWHERE. Next morning it was inquisition time. DS1 points to DS2 and blames him. Other than the color, there was no doubt as to what it resembled. So he trots off to their room, retrieves it and marches out to me with bf sitting beside me it buzzing away against his neck. Needless to say my box of toys got put into a better place because he'd snuck it into their room during the get together. I am SURE someone had to have noticed or at least heard the other ones buzzing away on the floor. LOL

2. Ok. Y'all know I had my crazy BDSM days and private club play did require nudity. The owner, who we both enjoyed playing (no sex, just the play part of it) had just finished giving all these 20 yr olds a demo on suspension and rope play. They'd all kept their underwear on. So when he was done, he drug out the toys and I stripped completely. This gasp goes up because now these girls are ditching and dodging for clothes to hide while I stood completely naked watching as he tied me up to a suspension rigging so I could run in circles. I was so embarrassed but had a good laugh about it cause none of them ever came back.

Ok....we'll leave it at those two.

Oh Melly, we want to hear about everything. I KNOW you have some good stories to tell.

OMG!!!! LOL The buzz buzz, that is CLASSIC!!!!! OMG I would have died from embarrassment. Ya know, I had ordered one of the Buzzer from a magazine and also order tennis shoes too. Yea I know, kinda strange to have both in a mag. The package comes but it has a huge rip in it. The tennis were still in the package but my Buzzer was gone. LOL. What sick motha would steal someones Buzzer???

Oh yea, BDSM, I totally forgot about that. LMAO re- tied nekkid to the rope and run around in circles. That great!!!!

WE WANT TO HEAR MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

My bestest gf in the whole world was with this guy who was really into back doors, if you know what I mean. HAHA Anyways, she was really stressed about this whole back door thing. She was on the internet searching. She ordered a book about it teaching her how to tilt her body and relax and all that other stuff. I was dying about her stress. It cracked me up soooooo much, especially since it was an online thing but they were planning to meet in person in the spring. I think it was Sept or so when she was going through all of this stress about her back door. We usually exhanged gifts for bdays and the holidays (her's is late Nov, mine dec) so we'd each get the other 1 thing. I decided that year I was going to toss in something for her dad (who's like a 2nd dad to me) and her daughter. I sent her the usual wrapped bed bath and beyond stuff she loved and then sent a medium sized "plug". All were wrapped individually. But on the "plug" I had written in huge contrasting marker "DO NOT OPEN IN FRONT OF ANYONE" all over the box.
So she gets the box and in her glee hands them all out thinking I sent her a bday and holdiday gift. She was so excited. Everyone opens their stuff and they're happy. Dad got his flannel shirt, her daughter an anime how to draw set and bf got her bath stuff. She says she was thinking "oh poop, now I have to buy another gift" and didn't bother to read the writing ALL OVER EVERY SIDE OF THE WRAPPED box and unwrapped it then and there. She was so embarassed. I am such a wicked evil friend. And when she complained to me, I kept going....HOW could you not miss it? I wrote it all over the box. She still says she doesn't know and denies I ever did write it there.

I have sooooo many more stories to tell....rofl. Thank you though...I so needed the small giggle today.


And OMG....they stole your buzzer!!! That's just freaky weird.

LMAO OMG, Melly, I have only read the first sentence and Im already cracking up. LOL Back door LOL. OMG and now I'm down to the *plug* part of your story and cracking up again. lol. And oooohhhh she opened it in front her family. LOL hahaha. My question is, did you buy her a beginners butt plug or the Super-Size-Me-Butt-Plug?

The midway one, she'd already been using a couple fingers.......

So one to the next part of the story. The day they were to meet was arriving quickly and so she'd IM me wanting me to flip on my cam to model different things for the opinion. So she decided to do her own brazilian (her first ever). Didn't bother to tell me she was doing that or I'd have warned her to either go professional or just stick to a bikini and trim. But nope. I get this PANIC'D phone call. "Why aren't you online? Log on. I need you!" I figured it was yet another wardrobe change thing. Ex who knew all about this and had been highly amused with her antics all week was there. So I log on, cam request comes up, I accept and guess what I am looking at? Not clothing. But her you know what up close and personal. Ex standing behind me going "WTF did she do to it?" I could tell she'd obviously just waxed it from the inflammation and the screaming telltale redness, but right smack above was a wicked nasty redness. She's screaming at me through the phone the whole time, "What do I do? OMG, what do I do?" I'd had one previously 1 time professionally and there is NO WAY I'd ever attempt it again, let alone do it myself. So I inform her ex is having a view and close it. Ask her if the wax was too hot. No. Did it burn her (skin irritation)? No. Then she announces she waxed over the same place twice. She is hysterically crying because she is convinced this guy is going to think she had some disease. I'm doing my very best not to laugh and failing miserably at it. He was on my IM list, so I just took care of the issue for her. Explained she did the wax herself and what had happened and could he please please please just ignore it. That's what happened. He pretended it wasn't there until SHE brought it up in this long convoluted explanation ending with "and Melly's hubby saw it" and burst into tears.

How's that for silliness?

My husband and I took the kids to have family pictures made a couple of years ago. My, even at 3 years old, comedian daughter decided to show off. First, I was standing in the entrance way, FACING a room full of people, dressed in nice clothing, and she lifts my dress above her head, exposing my spanx to the room. Then, while we were taking pictures, she kept doing things to get attention, including grabbing my necklace. In one pic, it looks like she is literally choking me, lol. Then, we sit down to look at the pictures and choose some and she says to our male photographer, "you're a FANCY boy aren't you?" We had been talking at home about how she was a fancy girl because she was all dressed for pics. My husband and I almost died. LOL.

My best friend and I went to visit a guy I had been dating at UK. We got to UK and drove around looking for the dorm he was in but had no luck. We stopped at the only dorm we could find to ask for help. When we went in the dorm, the guys standing around told us there was no dorm named what we were looking for. In fact, they said there were only 3 dorms. We were confused because we thought there would be more than 3 dorms at UK and we were sure he hadn't lied to us about the name of the dorm. But, we went to the other two dorms anyway. When we got to the final dorm, they asked, "well, what is his name?" We told them. They assured us there was no one by that name in this dorm. So I said "I KNOW he goes to UK." They said "well this is KY State." It's not even in the same city. We were at the wrong college. We went out to the car to drive to the right college (and the right city) and low and behold, I had locked the keys in the car. We went back in and had someone come out to help us get into the car. He pulled the car window out enough that my friend could put her hand in and unlock the door. As she was pulling her hand out, the window shattered. We had to drive home, 1 hour, in the cold of November, with no car window. Then, I had to make up a story to my parents as to why the window shattered because I wasn't supposed to be there in the first place.