Don't want to be pregnant
Anna_Bugz posted:
Hi everyone, I posted this in the pregnancy forum but I'm not sure if that's the best place. I am in my mid-30s and my boyfriend really wants to get married, and more than anything, wants kids. I know this means I will have to have them in the next few years, and every time I think about it I have panic attacks. I'm not ready to be a parent, even though I think I want to be, but in addition to that--and probably the larger source of anxiety--is the idea of being pregnant, giving birth, and physical consequences of being a mother. I have always told people I never wanted to experience pregnancy.
I have always been disgusted by pregnancy, and I have trouble even looking at pregnant women. I am very active and I don't understand how one functions with a huge ball attached to their abdomen, being nauseous all the time, and always wanting to sleep-- how do you even work? How do you even reach the keyboard! How do you sleep! The idea of feeling the fetus kick inside you freaks me out like you wouldn't believe. I can't look at my friends' sonograms-- I can't stand the thought of that growing inside someone. I hate how pregnant women's belly buttons push out. I don't like that you get so weak during pregnancy and after birth-- like there is so much muscle loss that you can't always get back, how can that be healthy? I don't want hemeroids, incontinence, or hair loss. I don't want huge boobs and breast feeding gives me the heebie-jeebies. I don't understand how anyone makes it through childbirth. I never say "congratulations" to a pregnant woman because I don't understand how being sick, weak, and uncomfortable for 9 months can be a good thing.
Besides all this, I'm afraid of not being able to function both during pregnancy and while trying to get pregnant. I have PCOS and PMDD and have been on the pill for 12 years-- I am terrified of being off it for an extending amount of time--what if I can't work? I also take spironolactone, and I'm afraid of all the facial hair growth, acne, and possible hair loss if I go off it (you have to go off it 3 months prior to going off the pill because it can cause birth defects). If it takes me years to get pregnant, that will be years of not taking the medications I rely on. I also have ADHD and take Adderall, and I know you can't take that while pregnant or breast feeding, but I need it to work!
How do I come to terms with all this? And quickly! I am in the position of having to go from thinking I would never have to get pregnant to having to be stoked about it within a couple years. I know my boyfriend wants me to really want to be pregnant (twice!) and I just can't wrap my head around it. The actual kids aren't even the problem, it's just what I have to do to get them!
Can anyone offer insight into why I feel like this and if I can fix it? I feel like I can't possibly be the only woman to feel this way because it all seems logical, yet I feel pretty alone on it. My boyfriend says I should think about a fetus like it is a baby, but 1) it's not and 2) imagining a full-on baby inside me doesn't help much. I just don't understand how so many women talk themselves into to going through this. I don't want to spend most of my 30s in a sickly state, unable to live my life.
I have always been disgusted by pregnancy, and I have trouble even looking at pregnant women. I am very active and I don't understand how one functions with a huge ball attached to their abdomen, being nauseous all the time, and always wanting to sleep-- how do you even work? How do you even reach the keyboard! How do you sleep! The idea of feeling the fetus kick inside you freaks me out like you wouldn't believe. I can't look at my friends' sonograms-- I can't stand the thought of that growing inside someone. I hate how pregnant women's belly buttons push out. I don't like that you get so weak during pregnancy and after birth-- like there is so much muscle loss that you can't always get back, how can that be healthy? I don't want hemeroids, incontinence, or hair loss. I don't want huge boobs and breast feeding gives me the heebie-jeebies. I don't understand how anyone makes it through childbirth. I never say "congratulations" to a pregnant woman because I don't understand how being sick, weak, and uncomfortable for 9 months can be a good thing.
Besides all this, I'm afraid of not being able to function both during pregnancy and while trying to get pregnant. I have PCOS and PMDD and have been on the pill for 12 years-- I am terrified of being off it for an extending amount of time--what if I can't work? I also take spironolactone, and I'm afraid of all the facial hair growth, acne, and possible hair loss if I go off it (you have to go off it 3 months prior to going off the pill because it can cause birth defects). If it takes me years to get pregnant, that will be years of not taking the medications I rely on. I also have ADHD and take Adderall, and I know you can't take that while pregnant or breast feeding, but I need it to work!
How do I come to terms with all this? And quickly! I am in the position of having to go from thinking I would never have to get pregnant to having to be stoked about it within a couple years. I know my boyfriend wants me to really want to be pregnant (twice!) and I just can't wrap my head around it. The actual kids aren't even the problem, it's just what I have to do to get them!
Can anyone offer insight into why I feel like this and if I can fix it? I feel like I can't possibly be the only woman to feel this way because it all seems logical, yet I feel pretty alone on it. My boyfriend says I should think about a fetus like it is a baby, but 1) it's not and 2) imagining a full-on baby inside me doesn't help much. I just don't understand how so many women talk themselves into to going through this. I don't want to spend most of my 30s in a sickly state, unable to live my life.
57 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantHi everyone, I posted this in the pregnancy forum but I'm not sure if that's the best place. I am in my mid-30s and my boyfriend really wants to get married, and more than anything, wants kids. I know this means I will have to have them in the next few years, and every time I think about it I have panic attacks. I'm not ready to be a parent, even though I think I want to be, but in addition to that--and probably the larger source of anxiety--is the idea of being pregnant, giving birth, and physical consequences of being a mother. I have always told people I never wanted to experience pregnancy.<br /> <br />I have always been disgusted by pregnancy, and I have trouble even looking at pregnant women. I am very active and I don't understand how one functions with a huge ball attached to their abdomen, being nauseous all the time, and always wanting to sleep-- how do you even work? How do you even reach the keyboard! How do you sleep! The idea of feeling the fetus kick inside you freaks me out like you wouldn't believe. I can't look at my friends' sonograms-- I can't stand the thought of that growing inside someone. I hate how pregnant women's belly buttons push out. I don't like that you get so weak during pregnancy and after birth-- like there is so much muscle loss that you can't always get back, how can that be healthy? I don't want hemeroids, incontinence, or hair loss. I don't want huge boobs and breast feeding gives me the heebie-jeebies. I don't understand how anyone makes it through childbirth. I never say "congratulations" to a pregnant woman because I don't understand how being sick, weak, and uncomfortable for 9 months can be a good thing.<br /> <br />Besides all this, I'm afraid of not being able to function both during pregnancy and while trying to get pregnant. I have PCOS and PMDD and have been on the pill for 12 years-- I am terrified of being off it for an extending amount of time--what if I can't work? I also take spironolactone, and I'm afraid of all the facial hair growth, acne, and possible hair loss if I go off it (you have to go off it 3 months prior to going off the pill because it can cause birth defects). If it takes me years to get pregnant, that will be years of not taking the medications I rely on. I also have ADHD and take Adderall, and I know you can't take that while pregnant or breast feeding, but I need it to work!<br /> <br />How do I come to terms with all this? And quickly! I am in the position of having to go from thinking I would never have to get pregnant to having to be stoked about it within a couple years. I know my boyfriend wants me to really want to be pregnant (twice!) and I just can't wrap my head around it. The actual kids aren't even the problem, it's just what I have to do to get them!<br /> <br />Can anyone offer insight into why I feel like this and if I can fix it? I feel like I can't possibly be the only woman to feel this way because it all seems logical, yet I feel pretty alone on it. My boyfriend says I should think about a fetus like it is a baby, but 1) it's not and 2) imagining a full-on baby <i>inside </i>me doesn't help much. I just don't understand how so many women talk themselves into to going through this. I don't want to spend most of my 30s in a sickly state, unable to live my life.
georgiagail responded:
There are women who do not wish to go through pregnancy and have children.
However, you need to keep in mind that many women have perfectly normal pregnancies, continue to work and be physicially active throughout their pregnancy with no issue whatsoever.
Sounds like you need to find a boyfriend who honors your very strong desire NOT to go through a pregnancy. It is unfair to any child to be conceived by a female who feels she will "have to have them in the next few years" simply because their partner wants children.
Find a partner who does not have a strong desire to father children and this issue will then be moot.
Gail
However, you need to keep in mind that many women have perfectly normal pregnancies, continue to work and be physicially active throughout their pregnancy with no issue whatsoever.
Sounds like you need to find a boyfriend who honors your very strong desire NOT to go through a pregnancy. It is unfair to any child to be conceived by a female who feels she will "have to have them in the next few years" simply because their partner wants children.
Find a partner who does not have a strong desire to father children and this issue will then be moot.
Gail
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantThere are women who do not wish to go through pregnancy and have children.<br /> <br />However, you need to keep in mind that many women have perfectly normal pregnancies, continue to work and be physicially active throughout their pregnancy with no issue whatsoever.<br /> <br />Sounds like you need to find a boyfriend who honors your very strong desire NOT to go through a pregnancy. It is unfair to any child to be conceived by a female who feels she will "have to have them in the next few years" simply because their partner wants children.<br /><br />Find a partner who does not have a strong desire to father children and this issue will then be moot.<br /><br />Gail
Anna_Bugz replied to georgiagail's response:
thank you for your reply. I agree "that It is unfair to any child to be conceived by a female who feels she will "have to have them in the next few years" but I want to be with my boyfriend. I want him, not a "partner." I was fine being single, but I'm with him because we love being together. If it were just a matter of breaking off with him to "find" someone with more similar philosophies on logistics, I would just do that, but I don't think that's the case.
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantthank you for your reply. I agree "that It is unfair to any child to be conceived by a female who feels she will "have to have them in the next few years" but I want to be with my boyfriend. I want him, not a "partner." I was fine being single, but I'm with him because we love being together. If it were just a matter of breaking off with him to "find" someone with more similar philosophies on logistics, I would just do that, but I don't think that's the case.
Anna_Bugz replied to georgiagail's response:
P.S. Even if a pregnancy is "normal", it's still pretty gross and debilitating, right? Everyone I know has had "normal" pregnancies, but it still looks so weird. The fetus still kicks inside you and all that weird stuff happens to your body. Plus, my body never seems to do anything "normally" so I can't go into it expecting the best possible scenario.
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantP.S. Even if a pregnancy is "normal", it's still pretty gross and debilitating, right? Everyone I know has had "normal" pregnancies, but it still looks so weird. The fetus still kicks inside you and all that weird stuff happens to your body. Plus, my body never seems to do anything "normally" so I can't go into it expecting the best possible scenario.
georgiagail replied to Anna_Bugz's response:
I have had two pregnancies and found neither to be gross or debilitating. I was able to work with both up to the day of delivery.
There are physical changes that occur with your body during pregnancy; breasts can grow larger and, of course, the uterus expands as the fetus grows.
Perhaps what concerns you are these very normal changes in body image? If so, please keep in mind that a body will change with age, even if it has not gone through a pregnancy.
Pregnancy is not an illness so there is no reason that it should be considered debilitating as an illness can be.
Gail
There are physical changes that occur with your body during pregnancy; breasts can grow larger and, of course, the uterus expands as the fetus grows.
Perhaps what concerns you are these very normal changes in body image? If so, please keep in mind that a body will change with age, even if it has not gone through a pregnancy.
Pregnancy is not an illness so there is no reason that it should be considered debilitating as an illness can be.
Gail
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantI have had two pregnancies and found neither to be gross or debilitating. I was able to work with both up to the day of delivery.<br /><br />There are physical changes that occur with your body during pregnancy; breasts can grow larger and, of course, the uterus expands as the fetus grows. <br /> <br />Perhaps what concerns you are these very normal changes in body image? If so, please keep in mind that a body will change with age, even if it has not gone through a pregnancy. <br /> <br />Pregnancy is not an illness so there is no reason that it should be considered debilitating as an illness can be.<br /><br />Gail
Anna_Bugz replied to georgiagail's response:
It's not really body image, but I don't want to lose strength-- some of my friends have said that you lose abdominal strength that you may never get back because the muscles stretch out so far. I've also heard you can have incontinence for the rest of your life and that your vagina can stretch and tear so much you can't even use tampons, or you can't feel sex. Everyone I know has told me your hair falls out-- maybe it is vain of me but I don't want my hair to fall out. And I really don't like the idea of my boobs growing--not sure why but it makes me kind sick to think about. I also don't want to gain fat that will never come off--with PCOS I have had my fair share of "body changes" and weight gain and I know what it is like to not have control of your own body. In general it seems like women who have kids look older than women who don't have kids, which I don't like the idea of but it's not the number 1 problem. And I think it is more about the skeeviness of actually being pregnant and breast feeding more than the after effects.
And it certainly seems like an illness to me! When it comes down to it, you have a large parasite sapping your strength. You are nauseous and tired all the time, you don't have the muscle strength to get off the couch without help, you can't eat normally, you can't sleep normally, you get gas and hemeroids, and it's not uncommon to have to stay in bed for weeks or months. And it does affect your life: even if you can make it to work you spend most of the day falling asleep or puking in the bathroom. I won't be able to take Adderall so I'll pretty much be useless the whole time. You can't play sports, drink alcohol, travel, etc. Saying that pregnancy doesn't affect your life sounds ridiculous!
And it certainly seems like an illness to me! When it comes down to it, you have a large parasite sapping your strength. You are nauseous and tired all the time, you don't have the muscle strength to get off the couch without help, you can't eat normally, you can't sleep normally, you get gas and hemeroids, and it's not uncommon to have to stay in bed for weeks or months. And it does affect your life: even if you can make it to work you spend most of the day falling asleep or puking in the bathroom. I won't be able to take Adderall so I'll pretty much be useless the whole time. You can't play sports, drink alcohol, travel, etc. Saying that pregnancy doesn't affect your life sounds ridiculous!
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantIt's not really body image, but I don't want to lose strength-- some of my friends have said that you lose abdominal strength that you may never get back because the muscles stretch out so far. I've also heard you can have incontinence for the rest of your life and that your vagina can stretch and tear so much you can't even use tampons, or you can't feel sex. Everyone I know has told me your hair falls out-- maybe it is vain of me but I don't want my hair to fall out. And I really don't like the idea of my boobs growing--not sure why but it makes me kind sick to think about. I also don't want to gain fat that will never come off--with PCOS I have had my fair share of "body changes" and weight gain and I know what it is like to not have control of your own body. In general it seems like women who have kids look older than women who don't have kids, which I don't like the idea of but it's not the number 1 problem. And I think it is more about the skeeviness of actually being pregnant and breast feeding more than the after effects. <br /><br />And it certainly seems like an illness to me! When it comes down to it, you have a large parasite sapping your strength. You are nauseous and tired all the time, you don't have the muscle strength to get off the couch without help, you can't eat normally, you can't sleep normally, you get gas and hemeroids, and it's not uncommon to have to stay in bed for weeks or months. And it does affect your life: even if you can make it to work you spend most of the day falling asleep or puking in the bathroom. I won't be able to take Adderall so I'll pretty much be useless the whole time. You can't play sports, drink alcohol, travel, etc. Saying that pregnancy doesn't affect your life sounds ridiculous!
...oh and I just seems to me that it makes you helpless and weak. I don't like the idea of people giving me their seat on the subway or helping me carry stuff. I don't want to ask for help to get up off the couch or out of bed. Why would I spend my whole life trying to be strong and healthy when I'm going to need help just to get around for 18 months, in the prime of my life? I don't like relying on other people. I'm planning to train harder than I ever have before I have to get pregnant, to minimize being sickly and helpless, but I have no idea if this even helps, it's just my instinct.
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnant...oh and I just seems to me that it makes you helpless and weak. I don't like the idea of people giving me their seat on the subway or helping me carry stuff. I don't want to ask for help to get up off the couch or out of bed. Why would I spend my whole life trying to be strong and healthy when I'm going to need help just to get around for 18 months, in the prime of my life? I don't like relying on other people. I'm planning to train harder than I ever have before I have to get pregnant, to minimize being sickly and helpless, but I have no idea if this even helps, it's just my instinct.
georgiagail replied to Anna_Bugz's response:
If all this happened during pregnancy, no woman would get pregnant (or not more than once, at least!).
I was never nauseous, got off the couch just fine, didn't puke once during the two pregnancies, slept fine, played sports and traveled during pregnancy. I never felt useless.
At any rate, if you believe all of this, then there is no use arguing with you and we're back to the initial suggestion that you find a partner who also is not interested in being a family with children.
Gail
I was never nauseous, got off the couch just fine, didn't puke once during the two pregnancies, slept fine, played sports and traveled during pregnancy. I never felt useless.
At any rate, if you believe all of this, then there is no use arguing with you and we're back to the initial suggestion that you find a partner who also is not interested in being a family with children.
Gail
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantIf all this happened during pregnancy, no woman would get pregnant (or not more than once, at least!).<br /> <br />I was never nauseous, got off the couch just fine, didn't puke once during the two pregnancies, slept fine, played sports and traveled during pregnancy. I never felt useless.<br /><br />At any rate, if you believe all of this, then there is no use arguing with you and we're back to the initial suggestion that you find a partner who also is not interested in being a family with children.<br /><br />Gail
Do not, repeat NOT, even contemplate having a baby just to keep a guy. Please make it clear to him that you do not want children.
Don't even consider pregnancy without counselling (for as long as it takes) first. Your fears about pregnancy are not only worrying they are obsessional.
Don't even consider pregnancy without counselling (for as long as it takes) first. Your fears about pregnancy are not only worrying they are obsessional.
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantDo not, repeat NOT, even contemplate having a baby just to keep a guy. Please make it clear to him that you do not want children. <br /> <br />Don't even consider pregnancy without counselling (for as long as it takes) first. Your fears about pregnancy are not only worrying they are obsessional.
Oh it is not just to keep a guy, I just never thought much about it until he came into the picture.
Why do you say that my fears are worrying? A lot of my friends are getting pregnant and giving birth these days, and I hear all these awful things. Plus any article, book, movie, or TV show about pregnancy paints the same picture. Haven't you seen the movie Knocked Up when at the end you just see the foot sticking out of that woman's abdomen? How can anyone not be afraid of that?
I would like to go to counseling before I have to go through this, but my main fear is that they will convince me it's not that bad and then it is. More than anything, I am afraid of being unprepared for going through it.
Why do you say that my fears are worrying? A lot of my friends are getting pregnant and giving birth these days, and I hear all these awful things. Plus any article, book, movie, or TV show about pregnancy paints the same picture. Haven't you seen the movie Knocked Up when at the end you just see the foot sticking out of that woman's abdomen? How can anyone not be afraid of that?
I would like to go to counseling before I have to go through this, but my main fear is that they will convince me it's not that bad and then it is. More than anything, I am afraid of being unprepared for going through it.
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantOh it is not just to keep a guy, I just never thought much about it until he came into the picture.<br /> <br />Why do you say that my fears are worrying? A lot of my friends are getting pregnant and giving birth these days, and I hear all these awful things. Plus any article, book, movie, or TV show about pregnancy paints the same picture. Haven't you seen the movie Knocked Up when at the end you just see the foot sticking out of that woman's abdomen? How can anyone not be afraid of that?<br /> <br />I would like to go to counseling before I have to go through this, but my main fear is that they will convince me it's not that bad and then it is. More than anything, I am afraid of being unprepared for going through it.
The point of counselling for you is not to tell you what to do either way. It would be to help you come to terms with a situation that you feel is unacceptable. Please get help for this. It can make a great difference to the rest of your life. I'm speaking from personal experience.
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantThe point of counselling for you is not to tell you what to do either way. It would be to help you come to terms with a situation that you feel is unacceptable. Please get help for this. It can make a great difference to the rest of your life. I'm speaking from personal experience.
1. My sister felt the same way. She is a weightlifter, active in Volleyball, etc. and she has an auto-immune disease.
She got pregnant while on the pill. You can continue any exercies that you currently do, as long as you begin early in the pregnancy.
2. I was raised by a woman who did not want kids. She should not have had kids. It was not a happy childhood.
3. If pregnancy is your only problem, there is adoption, surrogates, etc. There are plenty of children who need love out there... you don't have to be pregnant.
She got pregnant while on the pill. You can continue any exercies that you currently do, as long as you begin early in the pregnancy.
2. I was raised by a woman who did not want kids. She should not have had kids. It was not a happy childhood.
3. If pregnancy is your only problem, there is adoption, surrogates, etc. There are plenty of children who need love out there... you don't have to be pregnant.
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnant1. My sister felt the same way. She is a weightlifter, active in Volleyball, etc. and she has an auto-immune disease.<br /> <br />She got pregnant while on the pill. You can continue any exercies that you currently do, as long as you begin early in the pregnancy.<br /> <br />2. I was raised by a woman who did not want kids. She should not have had kids. It was not a happy childhood.<br /> <br />3. If pregnancy is your only problem, there is adoption, surrogates, etc. There are plenty of children who need love out there... you don't have to be pregnant.
That is not true. Not everyone has nausea. Many women have kids and you cannot tell. Muscle strenght is lost due to lack of exercise. There are c-sections. I had a natural delivery with stitches, and there are no problems with stretching... Never lost any hair. I am 35, with a 16 and 17 year old, and everyone thinks I am their sister or maybe aunt. People are shocked that I have kids.
I did not spend weeks or months in bed, nor did I fall asleep all of the time. Yes, pregnancy changes you. But if you want the child, a lot of it is great. Feeling your baby grow inside of you is an amazing experience.
BUT if you do not want kids, again, do NOT do it.
Although, you may be surprised. As I said above, my sister did not ever want kids. She has a 1-month old now and is extremely happy. She is a bodybuilder, and has begun to get back in shape.
I did not spend weeks or months in bed, nor did I fall asleep all of the time. Yes, pregnancy changes you. But if you want the child, a lot of it is great. Feeling your baby grow inside of you is an amazing experience.
BUT if you do not want kids, again, do NOT do it.
Although, you may be surprised. As I said above, my sister did not ever want kids. She has a 1-month old now and is extremely happy. She is a bodybuilder, and has begun to get back in shape.
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantThat is not true. Not everyone has nausea. Many women have kids and you cannot tell. Muscle strenght is lost due to lack of exercise. There are c-sections. I had a natural delivery with stitches, and there are no problems with stretching... Never lost any hair. I am 35, with a 16 and 17 year old, and everyone thinks I am their sister or maybe aunt. People are shocked that I have kids.<br /> <br />I did not spend weeks or months in bed, nor did I fall asleep all of the time. Yes, pregnancy changes you. But if you want the child, a lot of it is great. Feeling your baby grow inside of you is an amazing experience.<br /> <br />BUT if you do not want kids, again, do NOT do it.<br /> <br />Although, you may be surprised. As I said above, my sister did not ever want kids. She has a 1-month old now and is extremely happy. She is a bodybuilder, and has begun to get back in shape.
CCoombs replied to georgiagail's response:
LUCKY! I did have morning sickness, but would still do it again!
She doesn't need to switch partners, just tell him how strongly she feels. I agree, though. People who do not want children should never have them.
She doesn't need to switch partners, just tell him how strongly she feels. I agree, though. People who do not want children should never have them.
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantLUCKY! I did have morning sickness, but would still do it again!<br /> <br />She doesn't need to switch partners, just tell him how strongly she feels. I agree, though. People who do not want children should never have them.
puck1 responded:
So...just to be honest, I pretty much hated every minute of being pregnant and I did not have what would be considered a hard pregnancy. I was nauseaus for the first 12 weeks, then just queasy at times. I worked out regularly and worked until the day I went into labor. I think what I hated was the lack of control over my body. I couldn't run without getting cramps so I had to do the elliptical. I couldn't do the more advanced pilates I wanted, I couldn't drink wine, take the meds that made life more comfortable (anti depresants/anxiety..), sleep without a million pillows (and towards the end, hardly at all), or drink coffee or diet soda (personal choice). I had to go to bed at 9 every night and sometimes (at the end) even needed to sit down in the shower b/c my feet hurt.
I think the poster is actually correct. I did feel like I had a horrible illness for 9 months, plus the year of nursing where I abstained from meds and was crazy sleep deprived and depressed. I was pumping in my office on conference calls, leaking through sports bras etc.. At the birth, the doctors and nurses were wonderful. However, my son ended up being 10 pounds 10 oz, which was not known until out he came the old fashioned way. As a result of the long labor and his size (birth and carrying/lifting after birth), I have had chronic hip and back issues for the past 2 years. Very frustrating since I was a competitve athlete had no physical problems whatsoever until the pregnancy and birth.
I lost the pregnancy weight quickly (and was lucky to not gain a ton), but the truth is that my body will never be the same. I loved the bonding of nursing, but developed pretty bad insomnia from nursing 1 or 2 times through the night and sleep training, which has really only started resolving in the past 3-4 months. And my boobs could definately use some help!
So, as a result of all of this, as well a few other issues, I have decided not to have any more kids. My husband is aware, of course, and is very supportive of me.
BUT...even with all of that, I do want to say that my son and husband are without a doubt the most wonderful part of my life and the two best decisions I ever made. I hated pretty much every minute of being pregnant, but I would do it all again to get my son in a heartbeat. Watching my son wrestle with his father, "fix" things, or just walk to the mailbox together holding hands, makes me feel more love then I ever thought possible.
Hope this helps. S
I think the poster is actually correct. I did feel like I had a horrible illness for 9 months, plus the year of nursing where I abstained from meds and was crazy sleep deprived and depressed. I was pumping in my office on conference calls, leaking through sports bras etc.. At the birth, the doctors and nurses were wonderful. However, my son ended up being 10 pounds 10 oz, which was not known until out he came the old fashioned way. As a result of the long labor and his size (birth and carrying/lifting after birth), I have had chronic hip and back issues for the past 2 years. Very frustrating since I was a competitve athlete had no physical problems whatsoever until the pregnancy and birth.
I lost the pregnancy weight quickly (and was lucky to not gain a ton), but the truth is that my body will never be the same. I loved the bonding of nursing, but developed pretty bad insomnia from nursing 1 or 2 times through the night and sleep training, which has really only started resolving in the past 3-4 months. And my boobs could definately use some help!
So, as a result of all of this, as well a few other issues, I have decided not to have any more kids. My husband is aware, of course, and is very supportive of me.
BUT...even with all of that, I do want to say that my son and husband are without a doubt the most wonderful part of my life and the two best decisions I ever made. I hated pretty much every minute of being pregnant, but I would do it all again to get my son in a heartbeat. Watching my son wrestle with his father, "fix" things, or just walk to the mailbox together holding hands, makes me feel more love then I ever thought possible.
Hope this helps. S
Report This| Share this:Don't want to be pregnantSo...just to be honest, I pretty much hated every minute of being pregnant and I did not have what would be considered a hard pregnancy. I was nauseaus for the first 12 weeks, then just queasy at times. I worked out regularly and worked until the day I went into labor. I think what I hated was the lack of control over my body. I couldn't run without getting cramps so I had to do the elliptical. I couldn't do the more advanced pilates I wanted, I couldn't drink wine, take the meds that made life more comfortable (anti depresants/anxiety..), sleep without a million pillows (and towards the end, hardly at all), or drink coffee or diet soda (personal choice). I had to go to bed at 9 every night and sometimes (at the end) even needed to sit down in the shower b/c my feet hurt. <br /> <br />I think the poster is actually correct. I did feel like I had a horrible illness for 9 months, plus the year of nursing where I abstained from meds and was crazy sleep deprived and depressed. I was pumping in my office on conference calls, leaking through sports bras etc.. At the birth, the doctors and nurses were wonderful. However, my son ended up being 10 pounds 10 oz, which was not known until out he came the old fashioned way. As a result of the long labor and his size (birth and carrying/lifting after birth), I have had chronic hip and back issues for the past 2 years. Very frustrating since I was a competitve athlete had no physical problems whatsoever until the pregnancy and birth. <br /> <br />I lost the pregnancy weight quickly (and was lucky to not gain a ton), but the truth is that my body will never be the same. I loved the bonding of nursing, but developed pretty bad insomnia from nursing 1 or 2 times through the night and sleep training, which has really only started resolving in the past 3-4 months. And my boobs could definately use some help! <br /> <br />So, as a result of all of this, as well a few other issues, I have decided not to have any more kids. My husband is aware, of course, and is very supportive of me. <br /> <br />BUT...even with all of that, I do want to say that my son and husband are without a doubt the most wonderful part of my life and the two best decisions I ever made. I hated pretty much every minute of being pregnant, but I would do it all again to get my son in a heartbeat. Watching my son wrestle with his father, "fix" things, or just walk to the mailbox together holding hands, makes me feel more love then I ever thought possible.<br /> <br /> <br />Hope this helps. S
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