Dear An: If you are having what amounts to breakthrough bleeding (but are still having predictable menstrual-like flows) then partner size, or intercourse, MIGHT be a factors. This scenario is more common in women using hormonal forms of birth control (pill/patch/ring/Mirena/Implanon. The lining of the uterus can be easier to destabilize because of the effects of the hormones.
By contrast, if you are not using hormonal birth control and are having very erratic/late periods then the following is my best GUESS. The most common reason for a menstrual pattern like you have described is not having an ovulation every month. In a normal cycle, estrogen is produced all month. Estrogen is responsible for building up the lining of your uterus so you have something to shed each month.
In a normal cycle, progesterone production increases following ovulation and release of an egg.. Progesterone "stabilizes" the uterine lining in preparation for a possible implantation of a new pregnancy. If you are not pregnant that month the levels of estrogen and progesterone fall, triggering the release of the uterine lining—your period.
So, if you do not ovulate, the estrogen build up of the lining continues, but without the usual ovulation associated progesterone. Thus, the hormone levels don't decline, and the lining stays up inside the uterus—as a missed/late period. Alternatively, the built up lining can begin to shed on its own creating erratic bleeding patterns which are usually "too-light" or super heavy and prolonged.
There can be MANY causes for not ovulating: low thyroid, pituitary problems, ovarian cysts, physical stressors (eg sudden increases in exercise, crash dieting), emotional stressors (problems with parents or boyfriends/girlfriends, finances), increased body weight, anorexia, rotating shifts at work, etc. I have not specifically heard that a new sexual relationship is stressful. To the contrary I had a patient whose cycles only became regular when she was in a happy relationship with a new lover.
Bottom line, for the most "for sure" answer you may need to see a GYN where they can get a more thorough history--or do an exam.
Yours,
Jane