Dear dealing_with_it: Gosh, I wish there was a "natural way" to treat PCOS. The only treatments I am aware of which might be considered natural are as follows:
Natural micronized progesterone (eg "Prometrium")--This is even FDA approved for the treatment of missed periods. With the lack of ovulations that characterize PCOS, there is also a lack of enough progesterone to make the lining of the uterus shed every month. One can use this treatment every month of so to kick start a period, but it doesn't treat all the underlying hormonal issues of PCOS.
Weight loss---In one study of 263 women with PCOS, those who were overweight (e.g., BMI of 25 or more) had more irregular menstruations than those who weighed less. This fact correlates with the known improvement in fertility seen when women with PCOS lose weight. While I usually suggest to women that a loss of 15% of current weight will improve ovulation functions, there are studies which have found benefit in losing only 5-10% of current body weight. When ovulation is restored most all the hormonal problems (hair loss, acne, etc) turn around, too.
You mentioned that you were previously very active, and that as a cook you know about nutrition. This is in your favor if you want to avoid the usual medications for PCOS (eg metformin, birth control pills, etc).
A hysterectomy would resolve the menstrual symptoms; removal of ovaries would improve PCOS. Yet there still may be the "metabolic syndrome" also sometimes known as "Syndrome X". Here is more about this:
http://www.webmd.com/heart/metabolic-syndrome/default.htm It sounds like you have had an up hill battle given the severity of your symptoms--and a strong family history of PCOS. That is a lot to have to endure. I'm grieved at your loss of quality of life, and I wish I had more natural methods which have shown to be effective to treat PCOS.
In Support,
Jane