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Help me help my fiancee'!
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sochemon posted:
in the days preceding my fiancee's menstruation, she gets so out of control with her mood it seems she's a different person. From happy to despondent. From confidant to calling herself names and accusing me of doing the same. From trusting to paranoid. From fairly patient to easily angered that usually leads to rage. When her menstruation comes she bleeds extremely heavily, and becomes weak and tired. Some must be from blood loss, and perhaps some from letting go of the emotional upheaval? I have been married before, and am familiar with the "normal" mood changes and irritability of both menstruation and menopause, lest anyone think I'm overreacting. I am seriously concerned as the last 2 times she has threatened suicide. She has been prescribed enalapril, 20 mg once per day but doesn't take it. She takes an iron supplement irregularly. We eat a healthy, balanced diet heavy to fruits and vegetables. We drink alcohol moderately except during menstruation she drinks more heavily often becoming drunk. I have asked her to talk to her doctor. I am at a loss except to act and talk as gently as I can to her and offer reassurances. What do I do to assist her?
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sochemon responded:
P.S. Additional information to help me help my fiancee..

She is 50, caucasian and heavier than she wants to be, she works out reguarly
 
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georgiagail replied to sochemon's response:
Why is she not taking her Vasotec (i.e., Enalapril)?

Gail
 
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sochemon replied to georgiagail's response:
she states she has no anxiety and therefore it has no effect
 
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fcl replied to sochemon's response:
Do you agree with this? Have you tried explaining what you have observed?

In any case, I'm sorry to say, there isn't much you can do as long as she remains in denial.
 
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georgiagail replied to sochemon's response:
"she states she has no anxiety..."

Seriously??? Threatening suicide doesn't fit in this category?

Gail
 
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sochemon replied to georgiagail's response:
Of course I disagree with her statements about "no anxiety". I have talked with her about what I observe. When "auntie flo" arrives and she returns to her normal mood, she is open and acknowledges she has awareness of all this as well. Problem remains that when the "moods" come she returns to being unreasonable. Any ideas?
 
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fcl replied to sochemon's response:
So she says it has no effect because she has no anxiety... The whole point is for it to have a cumulative effect to avoid her having these appalling "moods". Doesn't she understand that?
 
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mysticalchic responded:
as long as people feel don't acknowledge they need help, they won't seek it. it sounds like she needs a mood stabilizer that will help with depression. paxil is a good one. it also helps those with anxiety with depression. maybe you should suggest it or suggest couples counseling. the next time she threatens suicide, call a help line. hormones can be super cruel and really play with a female's mind. get help!
 
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Cheryl30523 responded:
Sounds like Premenstrual dysphoric disorder - read about it on Wikipedia here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder

 
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sparkplug10 responded:
Run!!! Your life will be miserable.
 
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ladygnome responded:
you both need to do the hard work in the good weeks in between... got hold of books on C.B.T. and on other psycological techniques that your girlfriend can practice using then use them for real on the bad days. Are there real issues that she is worrying about, can she use the positive days to seriously tackle them when the energy motivation are there? You mention a prescription for enalapril,,this is a med for lowering blood pressure. a med review might need to be booked for when your girlfriend is feeling calm. Contraceptive pills do help many women, the doc might suggest the mini pill as she is 50. There can be a worsening of mood swings in the 10 years leading up to menopause, so hormone therapy might help. You say that she denies being anxious, have the two of you talked about depression, and how to tackle it, by counselling or meds? If she is getting worse and having suicidal thoughts get to the doc. Have both of you write down how this is affecting her and bring this to the consultation, it can be difficult to get out all you want to say in what might be a stressful consultation. Do work as a team, don't make any arrangements without her express consent, arranging surprise appointments will only justify any paranoia. If she does not trust the doc at the moment there are phone and net helplines.
 
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kelkel51 replied to ladygnome's response:
I was diagnosed with PMDD 5 months ago. I suffered for years with depression and rage 7 days before my period. I am 51 and I started only having about 10 good days out of the month.
I kept track of my symptoms for over a year and finally went to the DR. She asked me to try Fluoxetine (Prozac) 10mg. I never wanted to be on this type of pill, but I was at a point I needed something. Not only do you suffer from severe mood swings crying & anger you can't control, you suffer shame for being mean. I tried it had no side affects and it has totally changed my life. I am actually nice and in control of my emotions. I can live life again. Please don't give up on her. Believe me she knows something isn't right. She will have enough and hopefully get help. Good luck to you and hang in there.
 
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sochemon replied to kelkel51's response:
Thanks to all of you for your replies. I love this woman, and running is not an option, so hard work will be the answer. The awareness that this is a treatable condition is so helpful. I will study up and prepare to sit down with her. Thanks again!


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