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Advice on orgasms...
An_193212 posted:
My fiance and I have sex pretty often. I lost my virginity to him and since then its gotten harder and harder for me to orgasm from him. Before we had sex the first time it was relatively easy. Now he thinks I'm getting bored with him...
What could have changed? Any advice on how to make it easier again?
Was this Helpful?
15 of 29 found this helpful
georgiagail responded:
Perhaps you're getting bored with his technique or the newness and excitement of first having sex has worn off.

ASB_vp replied to georgiagail's response:
Any advice on how to bring it back?
jaemom replied to ASB_vp's response:
Sex toys, role playing, telling him what feels good and what doesn't. If you plan on getting married, you need to be open about telling him what you like. There is a whole life time for you both to figure this out, just remember to have fun. If you have any stress going on right now, check it at the bedroom door, stress is the biggest part of unsatisfying sex, even if the stress isn't about the sex. Good luck. I have been married for twelve years and have to say, our sex gets better every year.
PS. Don't forget, your body is constently changing as you continue to mature, whether it be from childhood, to teenager, to adult, to mature adult, therefore, what may have satisfied you before, may not now, experiment.
Saddleseatgirl replied to ASB_vp's response:
I had this problem, so I took a day off, figured out what I liked by watching porn, using toys, using my hands and eventually figured it out. The only way you can achieve more orgasms with him is by figuring out how you can do it yourself and giving him pointers from there! Good luck!
ASB_vp replied to jaemom's response:
Ok. Thank you for the advice. :>
etown57 responded:
I'm not saying this is true, but am wondering if you are having any guilt about giving up your virginity to him, since this started after you did that.
"Before we had sex the first time it was relatively easy."
Not sure i understand, you could reach orgasm by him before you had actual sex? or you could give yourself orgasms and now can't achieve them with him?
antisp8 responded:
You said that before you had sex it was relatively easy to have an orgasm. I'm guessing most of the stimulation was on your clitoris. Many people assume that when they have intercourse, that will lead to orgasm by itself, without the clitoral stimulation that was leading to the orgasms before. If that is the case, all you or your fiance needs to do is add clitoral stimulation during intercourse and you should orgasm easily again. Best Wishes.
ASB_vp replied to etown57's response:
It was easy for him to give me one before we had sex and after. Just recently it has begun to get hard to reach it. We have a lot of foreplay but even that doesnt get me there.
Aera16 responded:
This happened to me one time and it ended up being the birth control I was on. As soon as I switched, I was able to orgasm again with him no problem! Very weird but if you are on birth control that might just be it!
kpakpo responded:
This is rather unfortunate.What waqs your first experience like? Was your partner passionate and patient in leading you on? let him explore youre body and if oyu are getting married you have to know what will turn you on.
As a female you need to let your parner know what you like he as a man will definately have an orgasm your feeling sholud be of prime importance to him.I have been married for 26years and our sex life is very perfect.
Try other positions and be adventurous good luck!
Ellenor_Ffol replied to Aera16's response:
Many medications can decrease libido as well as make it difficult to climax, especially antidepressants.
ASB_vp replied to kpakpo's response:
It wasnt a bad experience. It was an uncomfortable feeling and kind of hurt but it wasnt bad. He was very gentle and extremely patient. He still is. We have started some new things so we will see how it goes.
Thanks for your advice. :>
becsbrain responded:
Before you lost your virginity to him your sensitivity was peeked. Now you may go sraight to sex much quicker than before. You need time to build your excitement for the occasion. You'll get more out of it when you put more into it. Start out softer and build on it. The anticipation is a big part of the enjoyment of sex. Every time is different, so don't put so much pressure on him or yourself. Don't let expectations get in your way of fun.
SnowFlake2545 responded:
I have some what of the same problem and its all because I have so much on my mind its hard to get in to it. We live wit his mom and it just seems like shes tryin to walk in on .. we have two small kids .. and alot of money problems.
I find it better to role play.. imagine being in a different place then what you are... Im not bored wit him but its just being in the situation we are its hard to be sexual.. except for him hes always up for it newhere .. I also do know that during sexual times you have to let him know how you feel and what makes you feel good... try different positions instead of just one... during "Play Time" :P.

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