HIV/AIDS Community

When I say I used my saliva I mean that I spit in my hand on two occasions severals time and then jacked him off. Im just worried like what if when I spit my gums were bleeding and I did not taste it.

Shouldn't a bigger concern be what is YOUR status regarding HIV?

Gail

Yes, thats why I am worried.

So you are worried that you might - through the possibility of bleeding gums - have infected someone with a virus that you do not know that you have nor do you have any reason to suspect that you have it?

If you are really concerned that you might have HIV, then get tested. You don't need insurnace to do so. Most state and county health departments offer testing, as well as Planned Parenthood (hurry before Congress guts its funding) or your local gay and lesbian center. Places like this provide testing either fee or at nominal cost and they often use the rapid tests which give you results in 20 minutes.

Dan

Thank You Dan.

I mentioned I am uninsured because if ( God forbid) the test came back positive idk how I would be able to afford the healthcare. From the scenario do I sound like I should be terrified? I just remembered the day before we were kissing he visited the dentist. Part of me thinks Im being crazy and the other half if just really worried that I may of been bleeding but did not taste it.

I don't think there is every any reason for anyone to be "terrified."

Your question is unique, because usually we interact with people who assume that they are not infected until they have an encounter with someone of unknown or positive status and then become afraid that they, too, have become infected.

I think you are the first person I've met on this forum in 6? 7? years who doesn't know his or her status but assumes they are infected and is worried about infecting other people.

Unless one has the misfortune to contract HIV in utero, everyone starts out HIV-negative and stays that way unless one does something to put themselves at risk. The major risks are unprotected sexual intercourse and sharing IV needles.

You've reported kissing (which is not really an HIV risk), oral sex (which is a theoretical risk but extremely, extremely low) and intercourse without ejaculation without indicating whether it was anal or vaginal, whether you were inserting or receive, or whether it was protected or not.

Based on this little information, it doesn't sound to me like you have any real likelihood of being infected and thus no real risk of passing a virus you probably don't have on to other people.

But let's look at your reasoning about not getting tested. You don't want to get tested because you don't have insurance and thus you conclude you would not be able to afford HIV treatments.

If you are infected (and I don't see any reason to assume that you are) and do not choose to get tested, you will get sick and develop AIDS no matter what. Testing does not magically make the virus appear; it just tells you if if has been there all along so you can take actions and precautions as needed.

If you are not infected (as is likely), by not getting tested you will continue to run around worrying and fretting about exposing people to a virus you do not have.

It seems like a simple choice. Get tested and put this senseless worrying behind you.

Dan

My possible exposure was vaginal sex. I was not wet and he did not ejaculate thats why I am scared. Sorry I should have said that earlier. My experience lasted about 15 minutes. I know I need to be tested. I am just very scared. Sometimes when I spit there is diluted blood. Not like bright red but a faded color. I feel very irresponsible. This experience and the oral sex did not occur with the individual I am speaking of. If I was infected would he more than likely be infected from my gums bleeding and deep kissing? Do you think that by me eating and drinking earlier that would disguise the taste of blood from my gums? Im sorry to keep bothering you with these what ifs? I know I need to get tested.

What you really need to do first is stop beating yourself up about being irresponsible.

You had about 15 minutes of unprotected vaginal penetration without ejaculation with a man whose HIV status is unknown.

The average estimated risk of infection for a woman having unprotected vaginal intercourse including ejaculation with a man known to be HIV-positive is about 1 in 1,000.

Your risk is much, much, much, much lower for two reasons:
1.) He didn't ejaculate, and so the only possible exposure could have been from pre-ejaculate fluid which not all men produce at the same time or to the same amount and which is generally a smaller quantity than semen and

2.) You do not know if this man had HIV to begin with.

If he did not have HIV - and the vast majority of the population does not have HIV - then your risk of infection was zero. If he did have HIV then your risk of infection was was somewhere much less than 1 in 1,000.

You should probably get tested in order to put this worry behind you, but I really don't think you have any reason to worry about yourself.

You have even less reason to worry about the other men in the picture. Even if you did have HIV (which I doubt), for them to be at risk they would need to have open bleeding wounds or gum disease in their mouths, too. Also, saliva has proteins that inhibit the virus.

A simple test will put all your worries to rest. If it has been 90 days or more since the unprotected vaginal penetration, your test results will be accurate and conclusive.

Be sure to come back and let us know what they are.

Dan

Dan,

Thank you so much for your information. I felt insane but now I am just feel slightly crazy lol. Your knowledge means a lot to me and I really appreciate you taking the time to go over this with me. The stress I have felt since my sexual encounter has caused severe anxiety in my life. Thank you for helping me see the numbers,that my risk is low and the risk of me giving this to someone else is even lower. When you think about it considering how often people kiss you don't hear of people being infected via kissing often. The relationship with the guy I kissed has deteriorated so I think that maybe that had an affect on the sudden fear. Thank you again for your patience and when I finally do get tested, I will let you know. Keep your fingers crossed and me in your prayers. Thanks again!

Hello Dan,

I am attempting to go on Wednesday to get tested, still pretty worried. Please just pray that my hiv test comes back negative. This is the scariest moment in my life. Thanks for all the support.

I know you said I really shouldn't be terrified because of my one exposure but I keep thinking about it and I want to cry. I feel so much guilt, I feel like I have it. I am broke and I cant bear to see the disappointment on my mothers face.

I really need you to respond because today I looked in my mouth and I noticed I had tiny cuts from where I grind my teeth. Im worried that I may have been bleeding while we were kissing.

The blood from the cuts are dried and I tried to rub it off from the inside of my cheek but it wont come off and when I spit there isn't any blood in my saliva.

These cuts or whatever in your mouth are irrelevant if you don't have HIV. Did you get tested on Wednesday? When do you get your results?