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    amosturf posted:
    Diagnosed with full blown AIDS 3 years ago at age 40. Carried into the hospital with a 1.5 million viral load. Came back strong. But now.....went to Doc yday. Symptoms have started again. Thrush, staph infection, fever, weight loss, blisters or rash, no energy.. In 6 months CD4 count has gone from 650 to 570 to 490. Taking Atripla but Doc is worried. Back on the cocktail. Makes me sick. Sometimes I wish it was all over. Soooooo tired of fighting this. Has anyone come back 2 or more times from this?
    Trying to keep on keeping on!!
    Andie_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Hi Amosturf,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and the pain you're having to endure. You've been so strong and I know how hard it must be some days.

    You are right to come here to look for some online support to help you through the tough times. I'm sure our community will be chiming in with their words of support, too.

    I just wanted to stop in to say that we care about you and want to make sure you have some crisis resources on hand since you mention wishing it was all over. We want to make sure you have help if you need it!.

    Here is a Crisis Resources Link with hotlines and web sites that may be of help if you may be in trouble.

    Take care and please update us on how you're doing!

    Knowledge is the antidote to fear. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
    David J Malebranche, MD, MPH responded:

    in my 10 years working at an HIV clinic in Atlanta, I can tell you one thing for sure - MANY people have problems with certain medication side effects, and MANY MORE have journeys that include "coming back" like you have said and do just fine.

    Best advice I can give you is to be open in your communication with your medical provider. A CD4 count of 490 is good, and sometimes you have to sort through what works FOR YOU to ge to a good space. Please hang in there and know that there were people in the 80s and early 90s who had few drug options with many more pills and more side effects that kept a positive outlook and have seen their medication regimens get easier and less toxic because they saw themselves in this for the long haul to live their full lives, not just to get past this crisis.

    You never know what medical breakthroughs are around the corner, so keep your head up and try to maintain a positive outlook though I know at times it may be difficult.... you made it past the diagnosis and a 1.5 million viral load, so obviously someone wants you around on this earth!!!!

    Keep us updated on how you are doing!


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