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    Should I be worried??
    An_244023 posted:
    I am a 27 year old white male and have been dating a 32 year old white female. We have been dating ON and OFF for about 7-8 months now. When we first started dating we used condoms but after the first month or two we stopped using protection.

    We live in two different places so we are not committed to each other and I know for a fact that she has been sleeping with another man and this man is a womanizer male whore. Knowing this you would think that I would use protection but in the heat of the moment and out of habit just haven't used them.

    We recently took a trip together and I had sex with her while she was on her period. We did not use a condom and after i turned the lights on in the room realized that there was blood every where. We destroyed the sheets. Normally I would not be so concerned but after seeing all that blood it kind of scared me.

    Little concerned but not too worried until about 2 weeks later now I have come down with flu like symptoms. I am achy, malaise, congested, cough, headache. No Fever but just feel junky.
    Should I be worried about HIV??
    Nieciedo responded:
    HIV cannot be diagnosed by symptoms. Many people who get infected do experience a short flu-like illness 2 to 6 weeks after infection, but many, many more people experience a flu-like illness because they actually have the flu or something similar.

    That being said, unprotected sex should only be attempted with someone you trust implicitly. The old saying is old but nonetheless true: when you have sex with someone, you're effectively having sex with everyone else he/she has ever had sex with. Since you are not a monogamous couple and since she is having sex with other men beside you and since you have no way of knowing whether she is playing safely with them, then it is not a good idea to continue to have unprotected sex with her. The reverse is also true, of course: if you have having unprotected sex with other women, then you are also potentially exposing her to any diseases the other women may have.

    There's not much you can do at this point except hurry up and wait. The odds are that these flu-like symptoms are just the flu or a similar non-serious virus. You should plan on an HIV test at 90 days after the last unprotected sexual encounter (you can get a test done at 30 days which will be about 95% accurate and may give you some peace of mind).

    Another option, which may not be available or affordable, is a PCR test that is usually used to measure HIV-positive patients' viral load. A PCR test now would be able to tell you if there is any HIV in your body (and if it doesn't find any HIV that would imply that there is no HIV to be found). The downsides of this are that the test is not intended for diagnosis and may not be offered, or may not be covered by insurance, or may have a false positive.

    Cheddar1515 replied to Nieciedo's response:
    Thanks Dan, I will be sure to get tested just to be safe and I also asked her to go ahead and get tested just for peace of this point I can't really do anything and I'm pretty sure everything is fine but how risky was my encounter? I know I wasn't wearing a condom but I do know that it is very hard for a male to get HIV from a female risky was my encounter?
    Cheddar1515 replied to Nieciedo's response:
    Also would ars symptoms start after only a week?
    AnneS23 responded:

    I think you should get tested, but likelihood of transmission is very very low. The most important thing you can do now is stay focused and carry on with your life, and most of all learn from this experience. I honestly do not think you've contracted the virus. I went through the same thing a few years ago. Had sex with a guy and woke up one week later feeling sick. I completely freaked out thinking I had contracted the virus. Online you could get what's called a rapid home test kit. For 20 $ or so you can have it shipped home and get tested in privacy. Personally I went to and purchased two from them and both came out negative. However, I went to the doctors afterwards and got a confirmatory test, which I think was best. Don't know if the site is still up running though.

    In any case just learn from this, and it would also be a good idea to ask your girl to come to the doctors with you. If you check the source you'll know for sure. Just make sure to lay it out in a discreet and understanding way.

    I'm sure you'll be alright. Just stay focused and get tested. Cheer up

    If you need to talk about this you can send me an e-mail at I'd be happy to talk with you about it.

    Best Regards,
    georgiagail replied to Cheddar1515's response:
    Typically ARS symptoms are seen 2 to 6 weeks after transmission.

    It should be pointed out that we frequently have an increasing number of questions regarding symptoms during the spring; it is easy to mistake spring pollen symptoms for some of the things seen in ARS.

    It's also important to keep in mind that while there are many home testing kits available, not all of them have been approved by the FDA. Attached is a list of FDA approved testing methods:


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    heres my point
    stay away from needles unless your health depends on it...and for christs sake dont share them. too late for me to heed that advice. dying ... More
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