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    packerf51 posted:
    In the last 10 years these are the activities that I have have done.

    Protected oral sex 1 recieving and 2 giving the 2 giving were not completed.

    No anal sex--to dangerous

    my anis was rubbed by finger.

    my anis was touched by penis no penetration 2 times. Did not feel seman on anis

    Some mutual masterbation and rubbing had pre-cum on thumb once and washed it off in short time.

    During these activities I did not get seman in my mouth or inside my anis. It has been two years since my anis was rubbed.

    Should I be tested or stop worring about these encounters. I have stopped this type of activity because of HIV worries.
    Nieciedo responded:
    To answer your question, none of these activities poses a risk for HIV and thus there is no need to get tested.

    I would like to comment, though, that it seems like you are letting yourself be ruled by fear. While HIV is a scary virus, it is 100% preventable and is not as easy to transmit as many people fear.

    Each person has their own unique boundaries and limits of what they like and what they are interested in and what they will or will not do sexually. When those boundaries are determined rationally and deliberately, they are the one of the most important parts of a healthy and integrated sex life; when they are reflexes determined solely by fear, however, they are unhealthy.

    One way to determine healthy boundaries is to educate yourself on what is and is not risky for disease. Oral sex, for example, is an extremely low risk activity (common sense, of course applies - don't perform oral sex if you have a cut or open sore in your mouth, for example). Stimulation of the anus with a finger is safe. Anal intercourse is dangerous only if a condom is not used or if a condom is used incorrectly. Mutual masturbation, however, is another perfectly safe activity.

    You have no need to conftinue worrying about the activities you have described because they are not risky or causes for alarm. I hope that you can allow yourself to decide whether you enjoy these activities or not based on their own merits, and not based on your fears of HIV.

    Good luck,

    packerf50 replied to Nieciedo's response:
    I had one more question

    I let an individual message my penis with his hand after he did his for a short time. I did not feel or see seman on his hand and I had not cuts or sores on my penis but I noticed a heat rash on my inside groin/legg area. More like shaffing. I do not know if he touched the area with his hand and I did not feel or see seman on the shaffed area. Should I be concerned?

    I have been living in hell trying to deal with my feelings but I am married and see no way out of it. I am very depressed at times and have no one to turn to. I must learn to live with this and learn not to act out these feelings. Do you have any suggestions?

    Thank you for your hepl Dan.
    georgiagail replied to packerf50's response:
    Having someone massage your penis with their hand when you have a heat rash or chaffing on your inside groin area is not a risk for HIV transmission.

    The only semen that might be present during this event would be yours.


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