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I fell for him...
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Mkxoxo3 posted:
Well here is a brief overview of my story...my life...
About 2 months ago I made the biggest mistake of my life and slept with a man I barely knew. About 2 weeks after the encounter I had what I thought was a HORRIBLE yeast infection. I rushed myself to the Doctor to find out I had contracted HSV-1 (of the genitals) I was heartbroken and really upset with myself, but I have put that behind me and have fully coped with the situation. About 1 week after testing positive for the HSV my Doctor urged me to get tested for everything else. I was so hesitant because I was terrified of the results. I got tested for everything else including HIV and all results were negative. My Doctor told me to wait 6 months for a fully conclusive result. So here I sit 3 months past exposure waiting waiting and doing some more waiting.
In the meantime I met someone through my work. We started to hang out and things were amazing from the start. The only kicker is he is HIV positive. Deep down I still feel like I have HIV and that the antibodies are not present yet to show up, but if I am truly negative I know that by dating this man I will always be at a higher risk than normal. I just don't think I could ever go through the guilt and worry I had when I thought I was initially positive. However I have really fallen for this guy. He is absolutely amazing. He has such a positive outlook on life it is contagious. He is romantic, witty, super funny and really is everything I have been searching for.
I guess what I am hoping for is to hear from anyone who is in a similar situation, where one partner is negative the other positive. (Just a side note that I am female) Both of us have our own children and are not interested in more so the risk of passing it to our child would be eliminated. I am at such a loss. My heart and head are telling me 2 different things and I am just not sure where to turn.........
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Nieciedo responded:
First things first, with regard to your own status, an HIV test now (at 3 months since the last encounter) will be conclusive. You don't have to wait 6 months: HIV antibody tests are conclusive at 90 days/3 months.

As for your relationship with this HIV-positive man, there is no physical reason why you should let his sero-status get in the way of your happiness together.

He is presumably on medication and under the care of a doctor. Responsibly following his medication regimen should keep his viral load as low as possible. This, combined with responsible condom use, would allow you both to be physically intimate without putting you at risk. You have said that you don't wish or plan to have children, but even if you change your mind there are ways to make that happen.

It's fear that is holding you back here, and that fear is really groundless. You love him, he loves you; that's a lot to build on. Go for it!

Dan
 
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Mkxoxo3 replied to Nieciedo's response:
Thanks for your response Dan.

He is taking medicine, regularly and doing everything he needs to stay healthy. He hasn't had too many side effects and is in general good health.

I know there is so much stigma on HIV and that really ticks me off. I don't think that is fair whatsoever! An HIV status should not define person.

After much thought I have decided to seek counseling to help me with the more emotional struggles I am going through and what I will be going through in the future. We have also set up a meeting with his Doctor to discuss concerns I am having.

I have no clue why my Doctor has urged me to wait 6 months. After a lot of research it states pretty clear HIV testing is conclusive at 3 so I am going to go in next week to get those results. Hopefully they are negative but if they are not I am determined to fight alongside him.

Thanks Dan for your words. I certainly feel more at ease with my decision to continue seeing him.


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