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    Afraid For Our Future
    TheRz posted:
    I am getting married in a few months, and I have made some decisions that has sent me into fear and despair. Lack of sleep, I can't eat, I can't do anything. I am a complete and total wreck, and I just need to talk to someone.

    I've had sex with 3 people this year besides my girlfriend. It was not the right thing to do, and I keep going through these things. I go into despair, I get so scared, I am afraid I have infected her and it causes me more grief than I have ever experienced. I am so very scared.

    I had sex with a man for about 2 minutes with a condom on, and he performed oral on me, a week later I had an HIV test and it was negative. I know that this does not mean much because of the short time, but my girlfriend was pregnant at the time. She had an HIV test when the baby was born a month later, and it was negative. How long does it take until you can pass HIV after you've had sex?

    I had sex for about 20 seconds unprotected with a woman. She was in the army, and I know they pay pretty close attention to the soldiers' health.

    3 weeks ago, I rimmed a guy for about 5 seconds, gave him oral for about 5 minutes, and he gave me oral.

    What are my risks? I am so scared... I don't want to ruin our lives. I don't know why I do this. Each time I do... I get scared and go through this, but I never remember the pain and anxiety. I will never do this again, because this anxiety is not worth the pleasure, and I see that now. I am being tested tomorrow (in about 3 hours). I hope I can get a response or something... I just am very very afraid of what will happen to our future..
    georgiagail responded:
    1. Sex (either vaginal or anal) with a latex condom (and assuming the condom did not break) risk. The virus cannot pass through an intact latex barrier.

    2. Oral sex (both giving and receiving, unprotected) carries an estimated risk of .5 to 1 per 10,000 exposures with a source KNOWN to carry the virus. Your risk would be less since you cannot confirm your partners status.

    3. risk

    4. Insertive (you) unprotected vaginal intercourse carries an estiamted risk of 5 per 10,000 exposures, again with a source KNOWN to carry the virus. Your risk would be far less since not only can you not confirm your partners status but the entire event lasted just 20 seconds.

    The odds are incredibly in your favor that your test result will be negative. However, from the timeline of your posting you might need to reconsider whether you are ready to be married which would (or should) place you in a commited relationship.


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