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haywire27 posted:
I have suffered from OCD all my life starting from getting intrusive thoughts to the having a fear of HIV for the last couple of years.
Everytime I mad out or deep kissed someone I ran to private clinics to get tested. I have spend near to 1000 pounds getting tested from private clinics.
my latest incident has really scared me. A bit of background, my boyfriend and I have been together for the last 6 months. He had 6 sexual partners before me and had gone to thailand with his friends on nov2013. I know he had indulged in sexual activities (possibly oral, vaginal and anal sex with sex workers). We met in Jan2014 and been together since. I got him tested from a GUM clinic on Mar2014 and everything was negative (normal). Before this we only made out and nothing more.In may we went on holiday and on the night of 12th may i got really drunk and performed oral sex on him like for 2-3 seconds (or so he tells me). He also fingered me anally and vaginally followed by a hand job during which he came over himself.. What worries me is that I had a small cut in my mouth and a small cut around my anus from him fingering me.
now suddenly i am extremely worried about HIV and the what ifs are killing me
what if we also had vaginal and anal sex and i dont remember as i was drunk ( i didnt remember a lot of things he told me thenext day)
what if he also had sex with someone else while he was with me for 6 months and he is hiv+ (he has assured me he wasnt with anyone else and my heart believes him?!!?)
I have done the PCR RNA test 9 days post exposure which has come out negative but i am still not convinced.
I am very scared and it is affecting my work, relationships with family and friends and health.
I have had a lot of concerns before this where i thought i had hiv from kissins, pregnant from kissing and going to die from self masturbation.
I dont know if this scare is genuine. I dont know if i am worried needlessly or if i should be worried?
Please help, so stressed and anxious
georgiagail responded:
May I suggest that you stop spending so much money on testing and spend it where it really should be which is counseling (and perhaps pharmacological support) to help you deal with your OCD over this disease.

Quite frankly, this is no way for you to live.

As to your questions...yes, just like worrying excessively over becoming HIV positive from kissing , getting pregnant from kissing and dying from masturbation (in which case, we'd all likely have keeled over long ago), your fear of HIV over this event is also unfounded.

dskman responded:
Haywire I can sort of understand. I have always been very worried about HIV, and since I became sexually active I have tested on almost a monthly basis. Though I have never done anything typically classified as high risk.

The sad thing for me at least, this time I am positive I really do have HIV. I have been testing almost weekly now, and I will be testing again tomorrow.

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