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Indiagnosed IBS potential Pain
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An_240615 posted:
Hello all,

So, I've read a few threads and i think there was someone else that had similar symptoms but wanted to ask some additional questions.

Situation - My girlfriend has been living with stomach pain for almost 12 years. Doc's passed it off as just minor indegestion, but she knew better. So now she's older and still having the pain and getting much worse. She has done the food tests, and nothing and i mean nothing really seems to prove that it affects her stomach. The things the doctors tell her to stay away from are sometimes even the things that give her no reaction and are safe. Like the Chicken Bowl at El Pollo Locco. It seems to be the only thing that she can really eat without any pain... most of the time. She just recently went in and had that exploratory surgery where they take a biopsy of your colon intestines and stomach i think. And the doc found nothing. So i guess it's good she doesn't have cancer, but at the sametime back to the drawing board.

She had also been having problems with her joints hurting, and she is usually whiped out by 7pm every night and ready for bed. She is also Hypoglycemic. And with her most recent blood tests she was told that she has a HypoThyroid. So she recently started taking meds for that. I'm hoping that helps take away some of her tiredness and painful joints. But This girl is being put through the ringer. This past night she was curled up on the floor in a cacoon shape because she was in so much pain.

She tells me she can't take this any longer. It is wearing her down immensely.

I heard that some people have said that having counseling with anxiety may help? Has anybody personally gone through counseling on this thing and been cured from the pain?

Next question is how do i comfort her? I say that i'm there for her. I want her to be out of pain. I don't want to say the wrong thing. I'll give her back massages, and be with her when she is in pain. But I feel just as helpless as she feels lost in thinking this pain will ever leave her. This is not the life she wants to lead. Going to bed at 7pm every night and not getting a good nights sleep, and being in pain all day and tired because she never has a day to recoop her strength.

Any ideas?
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barbarafromtucson responded:
You are doing more than what most people are willing to do. Just continue to be there by her side, continue with the back massages, and so on.

I've been struggling with my condition for the past 4 years...it has gotten so bad and such that I focus on the pain/symptoms so much that I can't 'see' or 'feel' the support/love that my friends/family show me...only when I "look back"--I can see/know that support. So just continue doing what you are doing....your girlfriend's at a spot where all she can see/feel is the pain. Just continue voicing your concern/love for her and let your actions show it. Deep down, she is thankful for your support/love...even though she can't express it or acutely aware of that at this moment.

She needs to get her focus off the pain/symptoms--the focus on the pain/symptoms can actually aggrivate the condition, as it does mind.

It is important that she does go to counseling...they have the training/techniques/etc. to help her deal with the pain/symptoms/etc. It has helped me a lot.

It's great for you to be supportive and loving of her--and helping her deal with her condition...but you can only do so much. It will become a big strain on your relationship (as well as her other relationships--such as with friends or family) if she doesn't go to counseling.

Continue to support/love her all you can...but I would get her to counseling and also go back to the doctor (or find another) and look into other conditions that it may be.

If your girlfriend has a Faith (like Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc.) she can can get help thru her church/synagogue/temple/etc. too.

You are doing more than the 'usual' and your girlfriend is lucky/blessed to have someone like you in her life.

One thing a counselor will tell her is to look at today as 'today' and not worry about 'tomorrow'--to take it one day at a time. That is helpful for both the person in pain and the person who supports.

Good luck!
 
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calgal37 responded:
An_240615, I'm curious. I know you say she's had food tests, but specifically which ones were done? Some of the things you're mentioning like joint pain aren't something that should accompany IBS. Other GI conditions, yes, but not IBS. Does she get rashes at all? 'Brain fog?' How bad is the fatigue. What foods have they told her to stay away from. What other tests besides food testing has she had done?


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