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    Looking for positive Support
    FutureMommy26 posted:
    Hi my name I'm a 27 year old married female, I've had 2 losses. My first was a ectopic pregnancy at 5 weeks and that was about 2 years ago my second pregnancy was a miscarriage at also 5 weeks and that happened last year around September My husband and i are actively trying again and I'm doing my best with trying not to have negative thoughts such as Will I ever have a full term pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby or will I lose another pregnancy and have to go through the mental and physical pain again or the worst which is Will I ever have a child/children. I'm looking for support from others who have been in my situation and can provide positivity in this journey I hope to hear back from every and anyone who is willing to share advice tips or just anything positive thanks in advance and I'm sending Lots of baby dust to EVERYONE TTC!!
    brandib01 responded:
    know a loss is hard personally and i completely understand after having 2 about a year apart from one another i had the same thoughts but also tried to stay positive.
    that is the best thing you can do. and im glad i did because i was blessed with my wonderful little man who is the light of my life. it took a long time but i just kept telling myself my baby was just not ready yet and he will come when it is his time and he did.
    my doctor explained it to me this way. alot of women have m/c's early in the pregnany such as 5 weeks or so and never know because they are not actively looking for it.
    they assume their period was a little late if they even notice that. but because we are watcing it like a hawk we catch it the moment most of the time that it happens.
    i would suggest talking to your doctor making a plan. i am not sure if you and your dh have had all the tests done if not i would so so just to have an idea of where you stand and there may be a problem that is easily fixed if there is no problem then relax and work out a plan like i said with your doc on a course of action. not sure if i helped but know good people get good karma even if it is not in the way you planned or expected.
    pasadawna responded:
    I had a loss at one point when we were trying, but I didn't know I was pregnant (was afraid to test and be disappointed, though I was having symptoms). So, 3 years later, when we were finally pregnant again, I was too afraid to get very excited - the WHOLE time. (healthy, happy little man angel now).
    I understand all the feelings surrounding a loss, it challenged who I saw myself as, and the life I thought I was headed for, challenged my feeling about the core of my being a woman. It's tough to get past all that, but the most important things are to realize it IS more common than anyone knows, because a lot of people have them and don't know it, like the PP said. Also, it IS NOT YOUR FAULT. The majority of the time, it is a chromasomal issue that can't be prevented, and isn't viable. NOTHING you can do/could have done could change the outcome. It's also important to stay calm and positive about it (easier said than done). Calmer, more positive usually = easier to conceive. You are so strong to have been able to get through what you have been through, and your baby will be the better for having such a strong mommy.

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