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Need Help.....confused and annoyed
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moonbeam2911234 posted:
MIy DH and I are finally on the same page about starting our family. I was ready for a long long time anyway I need help to get pregnant asap for personal reasons. I have read so many articles that now I don't even know if I can get pregnant. I've read articles that says have sex everyday during fertile period, I also read that I should have sex every other day for the sperm to have time to build up, I read that sex on the day of ovulation can result in pregnancy and sex the day after will not. I had sex every other day and including the day I was ovulating even though it was 2 days before I was suppose to ovulate so I am confused to why I didn't get pregnant. And there were other occasions when I had sex the day before ovulation and didn't end up pregnant. So can someone please help me. I would really appreciate it. P.S I tried temp. charting fertility friend but it seems that I keep missing the day/s of when its the best time. Both DH and I are healthy people which also has me lost. I always followed the 28day cycle but it changes so i am between the 26-28 once in a blue 25.
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moonbeam2911234 responded:
I really despise writing on web md community boards so this is my last time cause clearly no one can help me or my issue is not important enough so it doesn't get address......which means to just stop writing
 
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okierose1176 replied to moonbeam2911234's response:
i'm sorry you feel that way. it is frustrateing...i know. i never post on these boards either, i read a lot of them, but you seem despirate and i thought i would try to help. idk your history but i will tell you a little about me....my man and i have not used protection in two years, we have really been trying for the last year (or more). i have many unanswered questions. i work as an OB nurse and i am surrounded by pregnancy and babies, it's like teasing me...TTC is strating to take it's tole on my relationship. i have tried many different tricks that fellow nurses have told me and nothing works. i have normal periods, i will be 35 this year. started seeing an OB doc finally, he is doing a full work up but doesn't think anything is wrong. lol....hmmm.......
Anyways, i understand you are discouraged and i feel your pain of uncertanty, just know there are some of us out here listening, we just may not have the answers for you yet.

it's tuff, dont give up
 
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HCD17 replied to moonbeam2911234's response:
This is the first time I have even read the discussions. My husband and I have been TTC for over 3 years. I agree the articles contradict each other. My doc hasn't even done some of the "so called" basic tests on me (FSH, hormone levels, etc). I'll be 35 this year too. I've started accupunture and read a couple of books, they're great! I've received the best answers from my accupunturist and the books are almost like I was one of their patients when they wrote them. I recommend "The Infertility Cure" by Randine Lewis. Find someone that specializes in fertility if you can (accupunture). It's been helping me. My cycles vary like yours. Also, it was recommended to me that if his sperm count and mobility is normal then have sex every other day up til about 2-3 days before you ovulate, then have sex every day (including the day you are ovulating) and for fun, the day after. If his sperm is low, then every other day leading up to and during ovulation is best. That's what I was told anyway.
 
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HCD17 replied to okierose1176's response:
I can't imagine what you must feel everyday. I get frustrated seeing all the women in my office that "accidentally" get pregnant and here we have been struggling for 3 years now. I hope you can work through the stress. Know there are others out there. Stay strong.
 
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okierose1176 replied to HCD17's response:
thank you sweetie. i have good days and bad days....on the bad ones i got to the nursery and hug a baby. that is truely sootheing to hold a little human life, does something for the soul. .....i had stopped looking on webmd for quite a few months now. because i was becoming obssessed and more frustrated. but i thought i would poke around again. life has been stressfull lately, thought i could use some support myself, but my heart went out to moonbeam : ).....period is three days late, not the norm for me but im sure it's the increased stress, i have been feeling the cramps since it was due. more tests as soon as ole AF arrives. just want some answers at this point
 
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kittykatjenn responded:
I'm sorry about your frustration. Sometimes questions do go unanswered on these boards because nobody has an answer.

Basically, if you ovulate and are both healthy and there are no issues, you have a 25% chance of getting pg. Have you talked to your doctor at all? How long have you been trying? Docs generally want a healthy couple to try for at least a year before they will do any fertility testing. It can be very frustrating, and it does seem like it is easy. It can be very difficult though. I have been seeing a fertility specialist for 2 years now and DH and I tried on our own for about 6 1/2. Talk to your doctor and see what he/she says. Good luck.
 
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Yvette Smith, MD, MPH replied to moonbeam2911234's response:
These boards can be very frustrating. Since it is a community the activity on the board varies tremendously from day to day. I started to tell you how crazy my week has been and then realized, it doesn't matter, we weren't able to reach out to you as fast as you needed, that's what matters.

So my apologies, and my apologies to anyone else who feels they've been left in the lurch. To extend ourselves as support but not been there in a timely fashion just adds stress. Your note didn't say how long you've been trying or if you've had any fertility testing, so excuse me if my answer is a little off target.

As to your question. I don't think the problem is a timing problem. For most couples, if you have sex at least twice a week, by shear luck you're going to hit the right time for conception. I hate saying that to you, because timing of intercourse is such a concrete thing to latch on to, something that can be fixed if someone just tells us the right combination of days.

The honest answer is that there is a lot we do not understand about infertility. The percent of couples that we label as "unexplained infertility" may be as high as 50% in some studies. This doesn't mean there isn't a answer for those couples, this means medicine isn't perfect and we don't always have the explanations right now.

I think the other folks who have answered are saying the same thing, just in other words. Sometimes other modalities may help (see the reference about accupunture and the book another respondent referenced), maybe its time to speak to your healthcare giver about your attempts to date. I would encourage you to start looking at other issues besides the timing of intercourse at this point.

Hope this helps.
 
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Yvette Smith, MD, MPH replied to okierose1176's response:
It is hard being in the field and struggling when you're TTC. My own experience was that a good friend swore she was done having babies. She wasn't in the least bit interested. Well then one day she happily announced that she and her new husband were expecting. I was happy for her, I really was, but..... It just didn't seem fair at the time. My own story has had a happy ending but I remember those days and those feelings. And I remember the little bursts of guilt, feeling like I wasn't a totally good person because I had those momentary episodes of jealousy when others became pregnant. In the end, I realized I was just human and it was okay. I was entitled to short "pity parties" and then I was able to sincerely celebrate other's good fortune.

I suspect this happens to many of us and we're just too embarressed or maybe ashamed to admit it. Think of how much lighter the burden would be for everyone if it didn't feel like such a dark little secret. Maybe in a small way we can make a difference in this community by saying it outloud so other don't feel so alone.
 
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kerrymh replied to Yvette Smith, MD, MPH's response:
Yvette,
I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading your responses. You obviously care very much about what you do, and want to make a difference in the lives of the ladies on this board. Thank you!
I usually post on the Trying to concieve after a loss board, but I thought I would poke around here because I just got my first positive OPK after an ectopic pregnancy. I'm curious about timing the BD also.

I am a teacher and being surrounded by children all day is exactly where I want to be, but it can be hard. I look at those faces and wonder what my babies would have looked like had they survived.

Best of luck to everyone.
 
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An_191830 responded:
what happened to me was that i was having sex the day my OPK showed psitive and thats it.but then i tested one the day after etc and i had a positive OPK for 4 days straight.i did ultrasound and i was ovulating on the 5 day.so keep testing for ovulation and have sex every day as long as they show positive.i would have sex olso the day after because when ovulation accurs u dont get a positive anymore.


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