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    Too good to be true donor #1 - no go!
    no1phillygirl posted:
    We found out last Thurs that the donor had 2 antibodies show up in the bloodwork which weren't good. We met with a genetic counselor this morning upon suggestion of RE(guess we were lucky to get in so quickly). She said that we shouldn't use her. Dh and I already figured we wouldn't but we wanted the confirmation. We met with donor dept this morning and told them that we were passing on the donor. I cried through the whole appt. Our 2nd choice was still available(she will be a full donor for us only, the other was doing ivf for herself, we pay for cycle and get 1/2 her eggs). She is not proven but does have 1 child. We have to wait all over again now. She is supposed to get AF mid Jan and we will get the go ahead when she has day 2 FSH and AFC done. We will then have to wait for her to get all bldwk and genetic testing done. What are the chances that hers will come back bad also(well it is me we are talking about!! UGGHH)? I am so upset that we waited a month and half to not use her. If all goes well with this one we wont cycle until Feb/Mar. I can't stand all this waiting. Now if this works I won't have a baby until I'm 43. This so sucks!! There was 1 proven donor avail but she is in the shared program(she has 4 kids and has done 2 donor cycles) but we would have to wait 6 wks to see if anyone else wants to share her if not we can have her alone. We figured if we had to wait 6 wks for her we might as well go for our orig choice and take our chances.

    Guess this is not going to be an easy process either. I'm so jaded that I really don't ever see myself being pregnant and having a baby. That's my depression talking! I'm working with my therapist on getting my depression under control.

    I want to wish everyone a happy and healthy new year! I really hope that 2011 will be the year for all of us! We so deserve to join the others on the PAIF board for 9 h & h months.
    Marla 41 DH 31 10/08 BFP m/c 11/08
    6/09 RE (stage 2 endo)
    ivf1 9/09 tfr 3 BFP m/c 11/09
    ivf2 2/10 tfr 5 BFP cvs 13wks trisomy(d&e)
    ivf3 8/10 tfr 5 BFN
    ivf4 10/10 tfr 5 BFN
    ivf5 1/11 donor egg
    jdfan14 responded:
    Sorry to hear of your troubles! Sounds very frustrating to say the least.

    We had our cycle stopped b/c of bloodwork too, DH showed postive for CMV so waiting for this to come back good (3 months later still waiting) They say will eventually be good results. I know the feeling of frustration and waiting, it is hard to do!

    Hope you have better luck w/#2, keep your head up, I know it is tough, about all you can control right now :) Best of luck to you!
    Susan1777 responded:
    Marla, I'm so sorry of everything that you've had to go through to even get to this point and now to have to wait more. I can only imagine your frustration thinking donor #1 seemed so perfect, but I guess we all know in this IF world, that there always seems to be at least one glitch.

    On the flip side, even though you had to wait 1.5 months to get these results back, I'm glad that you got them, and that you didn't go ahead w/ a cycle that could've been doomed to fail. It sucks that the "normal" women out there have no idea all the tiny little things that go into a perfect cycle that actually make a healthy miracle.

    You have every right to feel depressed, but I KNOW that you can work through it. I think you and your husband are making the right decision in patiently waiting (bah humbug, lol) for your 2nd choice. I hope that you guys get the results that you need from her bloodwork and that her AF shows right on time for you. Your chance is coming, we all know it, you deserve it too much for all the strength & courage that you've mustered for yourself and the complete compassion that you've shown to us.

    Please try to have a happy new year (a few cocktails won't hurt), and we'll be here when you need us :).
    Was on ITSG since May of 2004....due to PCOS, tubal, and male factor issues, 5 years of TTC, numerous surgeries, IUI's, and 3 IVF's later, our little girl, Shelby, was born on 5/29/09.
    AprilCB responded:
    (((Marla))) I am sending you the biggest hug possible and crying with you. You and I have been on this board together for a long time now and I know all your struggles. It seems so unfair that you've been through so much and still you don't have your LO. I am one of your biggest cheerleaders, it just has to happen for you.

    I'm still not confident that I'll get my Feb cycle, so we may still be CB's. I know you'll find the strength to get through this. 2011 just has to be the year for us both and I truly hope we get to go to PAIF together. (((HUGS)))
    Cherie (36), DH (37), TTC 5 yrs. 1st IUI 11/09, 2nd IUI 1/10, 3rd IUI 2/10 all BFN. 1st IVF ER 6/6/10 ET 6/11/10 BFN. FET 9/28/10, BFP, MC'd 10/25/10
    mosleyd36 responded:
    Marla, I'm so sorry. I'm sure you were not expecting that. Hopefully your #2 will be good to go. The waiting sucks (coming from a someone who waited an entire year for IVF #1 and will now wait another whole year for #2)! I know you have done your fair share of waiting. Fingers crossed for your #2!!

    What is the antibody screen? Is that standard for non-donor IVF?
    Danielle (29) DH (31)...TTC since July '08. MFIF-low morph, low count. IVF/ICSI 1 Aug/Sep...BFN. IVF/ICSI 2...probably not for a while.
    leji1 responded:
    Oh Marla. My heart sank as I read this post. I can't believe this is happening to you. I feel like there are so many bumps and hurdles in this IF game. You are going to get that baby in time....which in all our cases is the biggest enemy.

    I hope this next donor is the one for you! I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Hang in there!
    Ellie 31,DH 32 low morph,TTC 2.75yrs,9/09-12/09 3 Clomid/IUI BFN, 4/10 IVF/ICSI 1 Chemical,7/10 FET BFN,11/10 IVF/ICSI/AH 2 BFN
    ivf responded:
    Oh... Marla... (((HUGS))) not sure what to say to make it better...

    Hope this new donor works wonderfully!!!!

    If it is any encouragement... a friend of mine was devastated for waiting almost 8monts for the DE... and when it finally happened... they are 21 weeks pg!!!!! So the wait will pay off!!!!! Hope this gives you a little bit of encouragement...


    and may 2011 bring all of us happiness and wishes come true!!!
    Me 36, DH 40... TTC since 04... 3 failed IVF's ... lost track of IUI's... currently on IVF 4... and applying for adoption abroad... wishing everyone best of luck!!!
    JakeFan2 responded:

    The IF rollercoaster has to stop for you! Don't knock the unproven donor with child. Think of it this way--proven donors have been cycled and have had their eggs boosted (ie, stims to create multiple eggs at once), thus they have a likelihood of already giving away some of their best eggs (remember I got 1 out of 11). Uproven may be harder in that she may not know how the cycle works and how to do the injects...but the office usually follows them more closely. Cycle all to yourself will yield more possibilities.

    As for age, I'll tell you, it really is just a number ! How you feel matters greatly. I feel more healthy now than I did in my 20s! Yes, I have to use Excellence cream to hide the gray strands in my hair. Yes, the OBs and perinates will treat you with kid gloves because of your age, but you will be monitored so closely that it may help ease your mind.

    I wish you all the best with the new donor and hope you will be moving to the PAIF before summer!!! All my best to you and DH!!
    no1phillygirl replied to mosleyd36's response:
    Thank you everyone for your kind words.They really do make me feel better even if just a little bit.

    Danielle the donor has to go through bloodwork and saliva testing. they test for over 100 genetic problems. Our first donor came up positive for having antibodies for two things. One being prothrombin 2 gene mutation which is a clotting disorder and the other is sjogans(spelling?) which is an auto immune disorder. One of them would have been cause to cx but two was a definite no go.
    Marla 41 DH 31 10/08 BFP m/c 11/08 6/09 RE (stage 2 endo) ivf1 9/09 tfr 3 BFP m/c 11/09 ivf2 2/10 tfr 5 BFP cvs 13wks trisomy(d
    no1phillygirl replied to ivf's response:
    I'm so happy for your friend. What is going on with you? Have you thought about egg donor?
    Marla 41 DH 31 10/08 BFP m/c 11/08 6/09 RE (stage 2 endo) ivf1 9/09 tfr 3 BFP m/c 11/09 ivf2 2/10 tfr 5 BFP cvs 13wks trisomy(d
    no1phillygirl replied to JakeFan2's response:
    Ok lets try this again! I typed and it disappeared! Carolyn it is so good to hear from you. I have been thinking of you! I was going to send you an email. How are you doing? I hear what you are saying about age. It's just freaking me out! I liked the idea of not using a proven only because I don't want to have siblings of my kid all over the place. What happens if they end up having sex/marrying a sibling. UGGHH!! Are you posting on the PAIF graduate board? Keep in touch when you can. I know that I value your experience. Other than you I haven't come across another person who has used donor egg. Take care.
    Marla 41 DH 31 10/08 BFP m/c 11/08 6/09 RE (stage 2 endo) ivf1 9/09 tfr 3 BFP m/c 11/09 ivf2 2/10 tfr 5 BFP cvs 13wks trisomy(d
    JakeFan2 replied to no1phillygirl's response:
    No PAIF grad board....just lurking here to help out and to cheer you and Cherie on to victory!!!
    chickeedoodle replied to no1phillygirl's response:
    Oh Marla!!! I am so sorry! I hope that this donor is a go - when will you find out?

    I just popped on the board to respond to a post Cherie told me about - and saw this post.

    Do keep me posted on how you are doing - I'm always thinking of you and sending you good vibes. :)
    AprilCB replied to JakeFan2's response:
    Thanks Carolyn. Are you on Facebook? I'd love to friend you if you are.
    Cherie (36), DH (37), TTC 5 yrs. 1st IUI 11/09, 2nd IUI 1/10, 3rd IUI 2/10 all BFN. 1st IVF ER 6/6/10 ET 6/11/10 BFN. FET 9/28/10, BFP, MC'd 10/25/10
    laughaloud responded:
    I just wanted to let you know your not alone in this battle. I am also on my fourth ivf cycle. we are waiting for
    embryology to call should be real soon most likely tomorrow
    for day five transfer. I am also 41 ( old!!) and if this is a bfn
    we are moving on to donor eggs. you are an inspiration and
    i beleive it will all work out in the end! stay posiitive and i will
    be rooting for you and DH!

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