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Just wondering(kinda a downer sorry)
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Hypnautica posted:
I was just wondering about this to see if it is just me or if any of you ladies have went through or are going through this now. We have been TTC for 4 1/2 yrs now and will be starting IVF soon we hope but have you ladies ever fealt like you have been trying for so long that IVF isnt going to work either and you really cant grasp even being a mom now? I would love more than anything to be a mom but due to being let down so much I feel at times IVF isnt going to work either and cant begin to think how being a mom is. Dont mean to be a downer but just wanted to see if this is normal? There is always a tiny bit of hope in me but im sure not as much as there should be. I think about going through IVF and the egg sticking and then getting the call with a BFP but then I have the voice in my head saying yeah right like thats ever going to happen. Is there anything you ladies do to help yourself out with these feelings?
Reply
 
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frankfortkate responded:
I think we have all had those feelings. And then we wonder if the doubting has any impact on our negative results.

What do I do? I talk with close friends who know what I am going through. I get on these boards and vent. I pray. I cry. I cuddle with my hubby. I cuddle with my dogs. I walk. I write.
When all else fails, I get a mani/pedi.
Kate(31), DH (31), 2 furbabies (Buster and TC), TTC 2 1/2 years, endo,IVF1 7/10 BFN, IVF2 11/10 BFN. Start IVF3 1/11!!
 
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Hypnautica replied to frankfortkate's response:
I think I will go sometime soon and get a massage. Is that going to get rid of my thoughts? Nope but hey at least I will be alittle less stressed. Bad thing is I have no close friends or even family memebers who know what I am going through. All of them get pregnant by just looking at a man lol. Oh well when I have issues I will just have to start coming on here more and talking things out. Thanks for your feedback.
 
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brookelovettc responded:
Yes, I think these thoughts are completely normal. We have to be "cautiously optimistic" which is probably the hardest thing to do!
Me(29) DH(29) TTC since 2008. No prev PG. Started seeing RE May 2010 and IF testing. DH=mild MFIF. Me= low AMH, endometriomas on both ovaries. 3C w/Clmd=BFN. AFC=few on R. IVF/ICSI ER=Feb 2011. FX
 
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Hypnautica replied to brookelovettc's response:
Glad to hear im not the only one who has these thoughts. I figured some of ladies had them as well but just wanted to make sure I wasnt being so hard on myself.
 
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AprilCB replied to Hypnautica's response:
Jennifer, your case sounds a lot like mine. We're starting our 5th year of TTC with undx IF. Though my recent 2nd opinion said he suspects, but can't prove, that I have an egg problem.

I am lucky in that we're only limited by how much emotionally we can handle. I have insurance that pays 100% with almost no limitations (the ones they do have don't apply to me). My DH and I actually would not be doing another cycle had the last one not resulted in a PG. We are only doing this because we feel like we came so close last time, how can we not try again. But honestly, we are both coming to terms that this may never be something that was meant to be for us. I'm pretty sure, this will be it for us. If we are able to get a FET out of this next fresh, we'll do the FET. But I'm pretty sure we will not continue on after that. I am beginning to resolve that this is not meant to be and am starting to change the way I envision our future. I find myself talking less and less about what our future will be like with children and find myself talking more and more about what we'll do in a future that does not include children.

So, your feelings are completely normal. I also am in this alone. My family doesn't know anything about this and I have only 3 very trusted friends who know (and my boss). My boss is very understanding and compassionate, but I only talk to her about it to the extend of the time off that I'll be needing. Of my friends who know, only 1 am I able to actually talk to regularly about this. 1 is male and would be uncomfotable having these very personal discussion with me. 1 is sympathetic, but she doesn't understand and I don't get much comfort talking to her. The 3rd, her sister went through IF. While my friend herself has no problems getting PG (2 of her 3 were surprises and of the 1 that was planned it took all of 1 month of TTC), because her sister went through it she has a better understanding of what I'm going through. If I really need to physically talk to someone, I talk to her. However, for the most part, I don't talk to anyone physically. I message on this board for the most part. I've formed some friendships from this board and have become FB friends and email friends with a few ladies that I met on this board.

If you really feel like you need someone to physically talk to, look for a RESOLVE meeting in your area. You also may want to check out this book, Coping with Infertility: Clinically Proven Ways of Managing the Emotional Roller Coaster by Drs Negar Nicole Jacobs and William T. O'Donohue. I found the book very helpful in learning how to cope with IF. Good luck
Cherie (36), DH (37), TTC 5 yrs. 1st IUI 11/09, 2nd IUI 1/10, 3rd IUI 2/10 all BFN. 1st IVF ER 6/6/10 ET 6/11/10 BFN. FET 9/28/10, BFP, MC'd 10/25/10
 
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no1phillygirl responded:
I want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel. After doing 4 fresh IVF cycles, 3 losses and still no baby, I no longer envision myself being pregnant and having a baby. I feel like even if I do get pregnant again it will end whether it end early or whether the baby is a stillbirth. I'm trying to not be negative, but its hard!!!

I really hope that your 4 1/2 year struggle will end with the success of your first IVF.
Marla 41 DH 31 10/08 BFP m/c 11/08 6/09 RE (stage 2 endo) ivf1 9/09 tfr 3 BFP m/c 11/09 ivf2 2/10 tfr 5 BFP cvs 13wks trisomy(d
 
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mosleyd36 responded:
Gosh, I thought it was just me. I often think that I will never have a baby simply because I can't imagine myself having a baby or being PG.

It definitely seems like it's not just you. Hang in there.
Danielle (29) DH (31)...TTC since July '08. MFIF-low morph, low count. IVF/ICSI 1 Aug/Sep '10...BFN. IVF/ICSI 2...probably not for a while.
 
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KittyKatJenn responded:
I certainly feel like that now. I ahven't even gotten to IVF stage or anything. It seems like my doc is just pushing me aside. He has had me on met for about 4 months now and I am almost done. So I call to find out the next step and what am I told? Stay on the met and call when you start! I can't even tell you how many times I have told them that I do not get my period on my own. So it is the same thing. Call when I am 2 weeks late and they do a blood test. The give me provera and I call when I start. Then more blood work and more pills. Same thing over and over. It has been over 3 months since I have had a period so I asked her when she wasnted me to start counting the 14 days. Now I just wait till I am done with the meds now and call to refill and instead of making me wait an extra 2 weeks they will just do the blood work then.

Please, don't do me any favors.
 
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KOOPERSMOM responded:
What you're feeling is perfectly normal! Hang in there!
Sarah(35), DH(35), IVF/ICSI 1 DS-Kooper(2 years), IVF/ICSI 2 BFP with M/C at 9.5 weeks. IVF3 BFN. FET(1 little blast) Jan
 
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SmashedPotato responded:
I have been sitting around for a day and a half feeling sorry for myself because I can't even make it through an IVF cycle. I don't even make it to retrieval!! I've been told there is nothing wrong with me, just old. I just turned 40 in October, so that frank statement made by my doctor made feel really good. I wish I had some advice to encourage you with, but all I can say is no, you are not the only one!!!!
 
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Hypnautica replied to SmashedPotato's response:
Thanks so much everyone for your replies. I wish I was alone in this because it is not an easy thing to deal with thats for sure. I do at times just wanna say forget it I do not wanna do IVF because im sick of it all but then again there is always that little voice saying what if. Im not sure how well I am going to take a BFN with IVF if it happens. My mom is always saying I know its going to be a BFP and blah blah blah lol I just wanna say hush because I cant see a BFP ever for me so get use to it but hey its my mom and I cant do that. Anyway I guess my journey will begin on the 18th to see what he has to say. This is going to be a long uphill battle for me to stay positive. All I can do is pray.


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