Infertility Treatment Community

I was in similar situation. He gave us 4 choices
1. do nothing
2. Laproscopy (looks for cysts, endo, ect)
3. Continue IUI with injectables
4. IVF

We did Lap, as my insurance covered it. They ended up finding a cyst on my right fallopian tube, which was not detected on ultrasound. Apparently its very rare, but could have been lowereing our chances each month of concieving.

Wishing you all the best with your first appoinment. Write everything down, have one listener and one writer so you can remember all the information. Our first appt was very informative, but tended to listen more that talked. Go over your budget before going, to see what you can afford.

Thanks for the info. I had a lap in 2007 for unexplained pain and they found 1 small spot of endo that had created enough scar tissue to attach my uterus to my bowel. He removed it and I've been fine since. I've been looking into luteal phase defect because my cycles are usually 22-24 days. I wasn't ovulating so my OBGYN tried clomid. I still think there's a problem with the short cycles even though he kept telling me he wasn't worried about it. I'm really frustrated at DH. I was finishing the paperwork last night and he had to sign and answer some questions. He told me he still didn't know why we're going because they tested both of us and told us we were fine. He wants a baby, but still hasn't accepted that we need help and thinks this will happen naturally. I don't know what to do with him! I was so excited about this appointment and now I'm worried about his reaction to everything and if we're going to have a big fight over continuing treatment.

Good luck at your appointment. Sorry to state the obvious, but everything I've read states that if you've been trying for over a year with no luck, then you need help. Encourage DH to do some research on his own to justify the cost of getting treatment. Sometimes it is more difficult for the guys to accept. It can be a shot to their ego. You could ask some pointed questions to the RE regarding the necessity for treatment to put DH at ease. Also, encourage him to ask questions.

My husband was the same way, now that I think about it. I think it was the appointments that got him to come around. Having the Dr. say that there was a problem. If they found endo, thats already a clear sign you will need help conceiving.

It is really a process of greiving, he may be greiving the process that everyone is "supposed to do naturally". Explore the stages of grief, and support him. I had to realize (even though I didn't in the beginning) this was just as hard on my husband as it was on me, he just internalized it, (I cried, he was tough, ect). I see two things happen, couples draw away from each other, or they draw closer. Fortunatley, Jason and I were able to draw closer from this experience. Just last night, I said, "Hunny, this is our 7th cycle, god are we crazy!" I heard on the radio today, " In your brokeness you seem to find new beginnings." For some reason I felt like that applied to my life. Hope you and your hubby can find some peace, cause this is too hard to do it alone. My advice, be there for him in ways you never have before and hopefully it will pay off.

You will want to take notes and def ask questions. It will be almost like information overload. And if your DH isn't fully committed to getting this help, he's probably not going to soak in much information. Have you discussed what you've read on webmd regarding infertillity or told him other womens stories? My DH has had a hard time with figuring out how to be there for me and how to handle my emotions but we've grown closer and after many discussions and tears he's beginning to understand. You've used OPK's on all 4 cycle's of Clomid or charted your BBT? Ask about your gluecose levels and hormone levels as well. After I started Clomid I instantly dropped weight, which was for the better cause I'm now at the ideal weight and so I think there was an imbalance somewhere and it's corrected it. You'll want to ask about your progesterone levels too. My advice is to just talk about it. Bring it up in a way like you know today I read this that and the other or so and so recommended this or that, what do you think. Hopefully it'll allow you both to open yourselves up to one another and he has to be willing to be vulnerable. I know my DH was so proud when I got pg in Oct bc we've tried for so long he felt masculine I guess. And when I mc'd he was more sad for me than for himself. I had to shed a lot of tears and a lot of emotions for my DH to fully grasp how much everything affected me and for him to understand that I needed him here beside me, mentally and physically on the same page. Make sure you ask the doc too for as much in writing this way you won't forget, it won't sound stupid I promise. Ask about sugar levels, family history, his family history, other options of medicines like Clomid. It could be something as simple as timing sex, which if that gets stressful hit him up in the morning, his testosterone levels are higher and he won't be so worried about performing. I hope that helps! Best of luck! KUP!

Thanks for the encouragement everyone! I'm excited to get this started...but not looking forward to the injections. I like the doctor, very calm and encouraging. He said to us that since DH checks out ok we just need to tune me up. I thought that was a nice way to put it, especially the way DH was acting. I was excited when AF showed yesterday because I thought I'd be able to start treatment right away. They told me it didn't give me enough time to get everything together, so I have to wait another cycle. I guess this is a time to be grateful my cycles are so short! He ordered femara, gonal-f injections, and an HCG trigger shot. This combination does increase the risk of multiples. We agree 2 is better than 0, but we'd really prefer 1. That one's out of our hands. They'll do a day 3 ultrasound to make sure I don't have any cysts, then another on day 11 along with an estradiol blood test to make sure I have good follicles and not too many before I do the HCG shot, then BD every other day for a week. The gonal-f injections don't sound too bad, but I'm not looking forward to DH giving me the HCG shot in the butt.

It's going to cost about $900 a cycle, so hopefully we don't have to do too many cycles. They understand all this is expensive and do try to help. They gave me the prescription and a list of pharmacies to call and compare prices. They also offer a 20% discount on the ultrasounds and blood test if I hand them a check at the first one. I know I always wonder how much treatments cost when people talk about what they are doing so I thought I'd share that.

Now I just get my meds and wait for AF to appear again. They handed me a huge packet of information that explained everything and answered a lot of questions. They handed it to me before they explained much and told me it's all in there so I don't need to take notes. The doctor also acknowledged that after a year and 4 rounds of clomid BD is kind of a chore so he tries to just tell us when and minimize the prescribed days. I wondered after we left how I'm supposed to get meds in time for another cycle if I have to order them, but when I read the info it says with these meds you have to give your body a break between cycles so if it doesn't work I take a cycle off giving me time to order meds for my next cycle. I know that's kind of a negative thought, but my mind goes there. Hopefully this works and we end up with our little one! This is going to be the longest cycle ever waiting to get started!