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    First Time here-Nervous, Menopur, and a series of infertility treatments
    An_250652 posted:
    Nothing is harder than trying to conceive and seeing your sister in law, friends, coworkers and everyone you know pregnant or delivering. My sister in law is going to be delivering soon, and my other sister in law just called to tell me she's pregnant. Deep down inside I'm happy and excited for them yet on the inside its tearing me to pieces and i'm sobbing and crying wishing it was me.
    2 years ago my husband and I decided that we wanted to conceive. I was diagnosed with PCOS. I don't have a period unless I take Progesterone. I have little to no progesterone level in my blood, so without the monthly progesterone medications, I won't menstruate at all. I started seeing an infertility doctor who did the usual pelvic exam. My pelvic exam was promising or so he said, good size ovaries, lots of eggs, good "home" he calls its-uterus for the baby to grow. Nothing abnormal but just not menstruating. We started 3 series on Clomid with no success but just horrible wretched side effects-which was enough for me to call it quits! To top it off, my liver started to grow some weird nodules so we had to postpone starting a family and started doing biopsy for liver cancer.
    After 2 years of trying to loose weight, getting in shape, biopsies coming back negative for cancer we finally went back to see my infertility doctor and got counseled, and now getting started on Menupor. I'm not use to all the different terms and abbreviations on here but tonight was my 2nd shot of Menupor and boy did it sting. I have another u/s on Friday and lefts hope that I respond to it. If not my doctor said he'll increase the dosage adn we'll go from there. We are planning on doing IUI so lets hope there are some good outcomes from this one cycle. Like my doctor said, "there's no room for error"..
    I'm so scared, any suggestions? Things to look forward to? Just ordered all my meds waiting for everything to arrive tomorrow with the Endometrium shots and HCG...
    jrawson responded:
    Hi there,
    I am following down the same path, it's nice to hear we are not alone! It sucks not being able to be pregnant and seeing everyone around you being happy- don't you feel like the only people that tell you to "stop stressing, it will happen" are the people that didn't have problems getting pregnant!

    We have been tcc for almost a year and the only time I get my period is on provera, I am going for an HSG on Monday, did you have one of these done? Is that how you found out you had PCOS?

    I'm going to follow your discussion so keep me posted- GOOD LUCK with the IUI!!!
    kkayvang replied to jrawson's response:
    Hi there jrawson,
    I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels like this. It is very frustrating and like I mentioned everyone who got pregnant had no problems, its like oh we are planning and BAM a few weeks laters oh yeah I'm pregnant! I was like damn, wish it was that easy for me... shessh what am I doing wrong? I've learned to accept that I'm not doing nothing wrong... It might just take a little more time.. and then after a while its just the little thoughts of denial in my head speaking and I get all depressed wishing and thinking why...
    I was diagnosed with PCOS a year after I got married in 2009. I never had a regular period in college but I was on birth control and they said its normal and okay for college girls to have irregularities due to stress and workload so it wasn't detected then. Plus I was active and fit, in shape and had no indicators of PCOS so they never screened or tested me for it. It wasn't til I got married and didn't want to take the darn pill everyday any more and started talking about wanting to conceive that we started doing the tests and that was when I got diagnosed. I have little to no progesterone level in my body. My pelvic ultra sound shows little cystic cysts and I don't ovulate. These factors was what determined that I had PCOS. As a result, I got started on Provera, one pill a day for 5 days every month just for a bleed and that was it.
    That was when things got complicated. I don't ovulate ever! I got referred to an RE and he literally did a pelvic u/s every other day for a whole entire month and I did not bleed did not have a period did not ovulate, nothing! and yes my u/s bill was very high despite insurance coverage. He just wanted to be thorough and cover all the bases to make sure that I really had PCOS and trying to figure out what was really wrong with me despite all the other tests. It was really depressing going through all of these tests. But at least they know whats wrong with me, the next battle is trying to find a way to get around it or to beat it.
    My u/s from Friday was a little disappointing. After 4 days on Menupor 75IU shots every night, my right ovary produced no follicles my left only had one and it was a size 6. I didn't know what that meant so I came on here to look for answers and insight and I guess an ideal size is 20-24... so my doctor increased my medications to two vials or 150IU of Menupor with another u/s on Tuesday morning. By then it'll be day 8 and I am really hoping more follicles have grow and my little eggs are growing in size and ready for my trigger shot. If not... I guess it'll be another round in medications...
    Keep us in your prayers and sprinkle baby dust this way... I'll sprinkle baby dust and prayers your way as well!!

    We'll definitely keep you posted and let me know how your HSG test goes! I never got that done, all my symptoms and frequent ultra sound tests were all indicative of PCOS. Keep me posted!
    jrawson replied to kkayvang's response:
    Hey there,
    Wow, sounds like they are being thorough but sometimes all those tests being stretched out, weeks and months go by and you are no further along than you were before. Hang in there. The size 6 might be too small for what you are looking for but at least it's in the right direction! Fingers crossed that Tuesday's US has better results. Are you seeing any side effects from the medications?

    My HSG went good today, they didn't find anything. I was relieved and annoyed at the same time. I had to get a pregnancy lab test done before, there is nothing worse than that I think, every time you have a test you have to take a pregnancy test and they are always negative, it's painful. . . I am waiting for my doctors office to call me, they want to start me on Clomid but you are supposed to take it after you get your period which I dont get so not sure how they are going to work that out. I told me husband to be in for a possible long ride.

    Good luck!!!!!!!!
    kkayvang replied to jrawson's response:
    Hey there,
    I'm so glad that your HSG was negative!!! That's a good thing yet in itself it leaves you wondering.. so whats wrong with me? I know that same exact horrid feeling. I hope that your trial with Clomid will work. I know that I have the same problem like you, no period unless I take the provera. So what we ended up doing was took the Proverea, had my period, did a pregnancy test and then ultrasound on day 4 or 5 and then we got started on the Clomid. The ultrasound was a baseline ultrasound and then from there what we ended up doing was getting an u/s every 3-4 days to see if i responded, which i never did, so we just kept increasing the dose. My RE also increase my Metaformin from 1000mg to 2000mg a day along with the Clomid-which studies have shown that the combination of the two does help for some, but in regards of myself it did not. I just ended up with horrible side effects from the Clomid. I just remember every morning wrenching so hard I was as pale as a ghost, so sick, throwing up every where and nauseated like there was no tomorrow. So if you are to have any of those side effects, make sure you have your doctor order you some Zofran on hand so that it'll help relieve some of those effects. I just ended up quitting the Clomid trials. I know that some people had their ovaries over stimulated from the Clomid so another to watch out for, but in my case, it did nothing for me. So my RE told me, there are some people that does not respond to Clomid and if they don't respond to Clomid chances are, all the pills out there won't work and the only thing that will work will be the shots like Menupor which is what I am on now.
    I hope and wish you lots of luck on Clomid. Let me know how it goes. Are you taking any other medications like Metaformin too?
    In regards of Menupor the only side effect I get from it is really bad head aches. Some people complain of feeling bloated but I just get really bad head aches, so what my RE had suggested is to take it right before I go to sleep so that I can sleep off the side effects, which does help a lot!!! I'll be going in for my u/s tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed in hopes of more follicles and better results from tomorrow's u/s.
    Keep me posted on your Clomid journey!
    jrawson replied to kkayvang's response:
    Oh geez, I am anxious for your U/S tomorrow! Even if it goes in a positive direction you know what you're doing is good- I will pray for a 20 at least!
    Wow that is great information about the Clomid! I am also starting today on Metformin because my MD said it works well with the Clomid. I read on here that if you dont respond within 6 rounds of clomid then chances are it's not going to work ever. I have an appointment with my MD on monday, I am not sure if he is going to do an U/S with it or not but I'll definitely ask! Thanks for the guidence I'l check for a status tomorrow after your test!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!
    kkayvang replied to jrawson's response:
    Hey there jrawson,
    So my u/s went okay I guess. My RE says its showing progress but I just feel that its going so slow I don't know if its progressing in the right way. On u/s shows on the right: two little eggs the size of 6 and 7 compared to none last Friday, and the one on my left grew from a size 6 to a 9. My RE didn't want too many eggs growing all at once since there was more eggs on the right side that was more prominate compared to last time, so he switched my medication to Follistim at 150IU. I have another u/s on Friday so we'll see how I respond to the Follistim. I really hope there are better news by Friday, especially since the Follistim is very very expensive! I don't have the best insurance but my insurance dose cover 50% and my medication order came up to over 1K on 3 days supplies worth of medications. I'm so sad that I might not be able to afford any more medications if we are to continue this for another 10 more days.

    I did asked my RE when is enough enough and he did say if 10 days from now I show no more growth or improvement we'll have to abort our current treatment... So i'm really praying and hoping that it will continue to work and my little eggs will continue to grow. My next u/s is on Friday so lets hope there is more progress then! Our goal is size 18... so pray for more growth and baby dust to be sprinkling our way...

    keep me updated on your treatment and let me know how things are coming along!
    jrawson replied to kkayvang's response:
    Friday huh- people might say it's only 3 days away but I'm like- 3 days! Why does every minute seem like an entire day when you're going through this stuff! The worst part is you feel like you are not getting anywhere because things have changed very little, it's very frustrating. Hang in there, the good news is things are progressing in the right direction like your RE said which is a good thing but I know you are bummed- and rightfully so. So tell me, if on Friday you have a good egg size 18 from this medication, they will do the IUI on Friday?
    The insurance piece is very hard. I know the feeling, I started the metformin already but have to wait for insurance auth for my clomid so I have to wait until Monday, it's like I wasted a whole week- for what!?! Do you have a deductible plan? If you do I would assume you are getting close to meeting your deductible. What if you get your Rx at walmart- I wonder if it's any cheaper? Don't worry about the cost of the meds the next 3 days, that's the last thing you need to worry about- see what happens on Friday and go from there. Did you already see what your insurance would cover for other treatments? Sometimes it's like talking to a brick wall but maybe you can ask your RE if their office can call and see if they get anywhere. . .

    Hang in there until Friday- sending my positive thoughts your way!!!
    kkayvang replied to jrawson's response:
    Yeah insurance sucks. I mean its better than none, but waiting for approval is so frustrating! luckily my RE office is pretty good with communicating between the insurance company and the fertility pharmacy but it doesn't replace the costs, its still expensive. In regards of the fertility medications, they have to be dispensed through a special fertility pharmacy only! no other pharmacy will dispense it unless it is through them. But the Clomid and some fertility medications that come in pill form can be dispersed through whatever pharmacy you use. But most fertility medications in the form of shots, are dispensed through a fertility pharmacy such as Freedom Fertility which is what I use.

    I just got my very expensive medication today. Will be using Follistim for the first time tonight. Will do more research and let you know how it comes along...
    jrawson replied to kkayvang's response:
    Hey! Anything going on with your U/S today? Hope it was an 18! If not what are your plans going forward?

    Did you start seeing an RE right away or did you go to your regular OBGYN first? I am seeing my obgyn who dabbles in RE stuff as well. The closest RE is 50 minutes from me but i was talking to the Managed Infertility Program nurse that was assigned to me from my insurance and she was saying that my obgyn was requesting authorization for IUI. I feel so out of the loop! I had no idea, I thought I was just taking the metformin and clomid and that was it. I do have an appointment Monday but wondering if this is just my doctor who isnt good at communicating or what? I don't really want to drive 50 minutes one way, escpecially if I have to go as often as you are going, I would be fired!

    Hope all good news!
    kkayvang replied to jrawson's response:
    Hi Jessica,
    My U/S didn't go as expected... sniff sniff... :*( I was so nervous and excited hoping to get better results but I don't know if the change in medication made everything go backwards or I am just not responding to the treatment. On my last u/s I had two little eggs on the right a size 6 and 7 and on the left one a size of 9. We switched up the medication because my doctor felt I wasn't responding as fast as I should so he started me on Follistim which is supposed to be a stronger medication. Well after 3 days on Follistim, it made it worst. My u/s shows nothing on the right now and the left went from a 9 back to a 7.
    I don't know what caused and contributed to this but it must just be the medication since it was a change in medication mid course of the cycle. My RE told me to increase the dose up by half so I'll be getting 225IU of Follistim and he's going to see me on Monday. He said there is 3 scenarios since he's cranking it up. 1: I still continue to not respond and theres nothing 2: A few grow and will be promising and 3. I get over stimulated and theres just alot of eggs happening and then we'll have to abort the case. So.. Of course, I left the office in tears. I honestly don't know whats wrong with me and I don't know its responding like this. Some people have it so easy and here I am just trying to get these little eggs to grow and they aren't... sniff sniff.. So I don't know what's my next step and plan. This cycle in itself was so expensive I am going have to wait a while for another cycle, so we'll see what happens...
    In regards to your question, my gyn referred me right away to an RE because of my many complicated health factors with my liver, PCOs and anovulatory status. I live in Orange County, and the hospital of choice that I choose to go to and all my physicians takes care of high risk patients which I fall under since I have all these other health problems aside from PCOs and no period. But my RE is a drive away too like approx. 35 miles each way and I am constantly going in every 3-4 days. So picking an RE wasn't easy either, there's a lot of REs near by but this was the only one my insurance would cover so I have to make the hike as well. In regards of IUI, I know although we did the clomid and metaformin challenge, I know that they went ahead and got approval for IUI just in case we decide to do that later on down the road. So it doesn't necessarily have to mean you have to do it now, its just so that they have it in your records that it was approved or denied. WIth some insurances it takes a very long time to get meds and procedures approved which explains why they sometime go ahead and start getting things approved ahead of time.
    Have you decided what to do next? When's your next u/s?
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    jrawson replied to kkayvang's response:
    Hey there,
    I know you had an appointment today- how did it go?

    I met with my obgyn. He started me on Clomid today, I go monday for my US and if my eggs are a good size he will do IUI on Tuesday, if not I will be adding meds and scheduling another US. I am praying for good size eggs! Looks like we are in the same boat now.

    I have to say, this is such an emotional rollercoaster! You get so excited that the next test is coming but then don't want to get excited because it might not be good results. I don't think anyone can really understand unless you go through it- I know I would not have understood these feelings&emotions if I wasn't going through it. I had my best friend tell me again to just relax don't worry about it- easy said for her- she's pregnant!

    Fingers crossed for good news!
    kkayvang replied to jrawson's response:
    Hey There,
    Good luck with your u/s on Monday! Keep me posted and let me know how it goes. My u/s was another roller coaster of events yesterday. We had to discuss the topic of "reduction" if we were to get pregnant with too many and such, and depending on our decision it will sway which way my dr. will choose to do my treatments in the next couple of days. He adjusted my medications again so we'll see how things go. Now he's seeing me every 2 days vs every 3-4 days. So I have another u/s tomorrow.

    The other day I was at work and my co-worker, who didn't know I was getting fertility treatments, went on a rampage going on and on about how people who go and get fertility treatments is like playing God. She jsut went on and on and on... and I sat there, didn't say anything and then BAM.. just busted out in tears, came home sobbing and sobbing... It was so hard to sit there and try to understand why this is all happening to me and why I am going through all of this when there are people out there who have kids and can careless, abuse their children and what not. I guess thats just how it goes, when you have everything and can have everything you just don't care for it or value it as much compared to someone who really wants something they cannot have and when they do they cherish it with all their heart and soul...

    Pray and send baby dusts this way for a better u/s result tomorrow. Keep me in touch and lets hope your clomid doesn't you in the loop with too many side effects!
    jrawson replied to kkayvang's response:
    Hey, how did your last US go? I hope better results. I am on day 5 of clomid, luckily no side effects yet. I'm hopefull for my US on Monday but trying not to get my hopes up although it's really hard to do both!

    That is so sad, people don't understand unless you go through it how emotionally and physically exhausting it is and only poeple who truley want to have a child would go through this. I'm sure if your co-worker had a hard time getting pregnant (years!) she would have a much different outlook!! That's very unfair of her to say those things she obviously dont know what she is talking about and I'm really sorry you had to go through that, with all the other stuff going on you need support not to listen to that. I'm sure when you are a mom you are going to be so wonderful, you obviously are willing to do so much to have a child in your life they will be the luckiest child ever!
    kkayvang replied to jrawson's response:
    Hey Jessica,
    My u/s today went... not as expected. I ended up making way too many eggs so my RE cancelled my whole cycle SNIFF SNIFF.. It was very disappointing and something we did not expect considering I wasn't making any eggs and they were fizzling out and now my body had a delayed response and made way too many... So according to my RE if we were to had sex we would have over 20 babies in this pregnancy and that is too high a risk to take, plus he's going to see me again on Monday to follow up on my ovaries to make sure that they are fading out. So right now no more medications and no sex until further notice.

    It was very difficult and hard knowing that we tried so hard and its been such an emotional roller coaster but my RE did say there is a "slight" chance of hope. He said that by Monday there is a chance that some of my eggs will already have ovulated or fizzled out and if there isn't too many left there is still a chance we can still get pregnant from this cycle. So we are really hoping and praying that Monday there will still be some good news heading our way.

    Hope your u/s on Monday goes well. Keep me posted!

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