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In Remission
karenrugs posted:
Finally! Again for the second time, I'm in remission. The endoscopy report stated, " No sign of cancer cells." I got a congratulations and now am looking forward to getting the bill.

I can't wait to get on with life, again. It's finally sunk in - no more chemo. The treatment made me feel worse than I actually did. I could deal with the pain, do everyday, but being sick from drugs is another situation.

So, come on hair. Get growing. I want to shave my legs again and underarms. LOL! I want to go to my stylist, when my now totally grey hair finally grows. Get in shape again. Yeah, yeah. Never really was.

Life feels different. Things that used to be important to me, arent. So what if the car isn't washed, house isn't cleaned everyday? Who cares if the neighbors are having a knock-down drag-out. As long as there's not any blood..... :-)

I want to watch my Grandchildren grow up. I have two and they mean everything to me. I know they would forget me if I died. But that's just it. I don't want to, not yet. Who would love my grandson, Johnny as much as I do? I know if I died, his little life would be so different than it is now. Who would he have to talk to about his little problems? Who??

I want to grow "older" with my husband, my hero, my knight, my rock.
Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I listen to his breathing and I think about how his life would be if I died. My heart literally breaks. Our daughters wouldn't come around much. Heck, they don't anyway. Not since lymphoma. I can't think about it.

Yup, life means so much. When people talk about taking theirs and how much better everyone would be, I want to slap them. And tell them how wrong they are.

Each day is a blessing. I know that I can fall out of remission at anytime. It happened before. It can happen again. Nothing's a given.
But I know that if that happens, at least I had this time of being happy.
Without cancer. Living, loving life and praying.

If anyone does read this. My prayers are with you. I hope if you or a family member or friend stays with whatever treatment you have.

Thank you,

NanaDianne responded:
Dear Karen,
Just dx with NH Lymphoma on Tuesday. I have so many questions and concerns. The Lymphoma was actually discovered in the gallbladder I had removed, so I don't actually know where else it may be. Your letter gives me hope to fight this battle. I'm going for testing next week. Like you I have so many things to live for, a husband, 2 sons and 7 grandchildren. Right now all I can do is pray and stand on my faith.
Thank you

sharpeimom4 replied to NanaDianne's response:

I received my dx of NHL in March of this year. It is a steep learning curve but YOU CAN DO IT. It can be/seem frightening but please know that cancer is NOT the automatic death sentence it used to be. Attitude is so important. So is faith. We all have so many reasons to live! Make sure you have an oncologist you trust & can communicate with - honestly & openly. Sounds like you have a support system in place & that is also important. Have you found out what kind of NHL you have? Have you started treatment?
I have B-cell lymphoma & am hoping that I've recently finished my last round of chemo (6 total). I have a PET scan tomorrow and will find out whether I need more chemo or "graduate" to radiation. ;) Please take care of yourself & keep in touch out here. ~Mary

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