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    So stressed & Depressed!!!
    LostAndinNeed posted:
    Hello, my husband was just diagnosed with stage 3 kidney failure, he is 29 yrs old.. I feel like he is literally dying.. He is always in pain & his function is at 30%... they said at 20% he will need a transplant. He has Diabetes & high blood pressure which caused this kidney failure. Last year this time his kidney's were perfectly fine. I am so scared and I don't know what I can do to help him. Any suggestions?
    mrscora01 responded:
    With proper care (diabetes and bp control, diet, etc) it can take a very long time to get from stage 3 though to stage 5 and then ESRD (end stage renal disease). I think it took me about 10 years. Some folks go faster, and some progress slower. The important thing is to keep in mind that life is not over. You can continue to do well even with kidney problems. Has he seen a nephrologist and the team including a renal dietitian? Diet plays an important role at this point as does glucose control.

    Find out about the diet required (this will be based on his labwork) and help him follow it. Try to be positive. Are you thinking of donating to him?

    Feel free to ask lots of questions.

    LostAndinNeed replied to mrscora01's response:
    Hello, thanks for the response, I would FOR SURE donate to him! I'm not sure if I'm a match, but his kidneys are losing function really fast esp since last year his kidney function was perfect they put him on blood pressure meds and now he's all messed up. And hes losing a lot of red blood cells thru his urine. I know they want to do a transplant over dialisis, which i'm not quite sure why? This is all very new to me! We are not eeing a renal dietitian but we have an appointment Monday and I will for sure ask the nephrologist about that. He's my soul mate & I don't want to lose him
    mrscora01 replied to LostAndinNeed's response:
    Just like with diabetes there is no one size fits all diet when you have kidney issues. What he can and cannot eat will be based on what his blood levels of various things are. Seeing a renal dietitian will help. If it is a choice between the diabetic diet and the renal one, you are best to choose the renal one because you can get into more trouble if you don't follow it. Is he on insulin? Getting the books "Using Insulin" and "Think Like a Pancreas" will help.

    As for not matching - they have ways around that now. Have you ever heard of something called a paired donation? It's pretty cool. You want to give to your husband. But you don't match. Someone else wants to give to their spouse. But they don't match. What they will do is find you a good couple to pair up with. You donate to the other couple, and their donor gives to your husband. Isn't that amazing? It can be extended to chains too. Donor A gives to Receipient B, Donor B gives to Recipient C, and donor C gives to Recipient A. I think the larges chain had 20 or so couples.

    It is better to get a transplant before dialysis. Dialysis only does a small percentage of kidney function. Enough to stay alive, but not always enough to keep you feeling good. You feel much better with transplant and live longer and are healthier.

    The good news is that your husband can live a long time. I had protein in my urine when I was about 14. Went on dialysis when I was 38, had a transplant at 39, and am now almost 50. So things can work out.

    Keep the questions coming if you want.

    john-skpt replied to mrscora01's response:
    I want to add: The docs will want to see the diabetes and hypertension under control before they go with a transplant, the transplant surgery is an extra stress on the body, and they need to minimize risks. Admittedly, diabetes gets harder to control as kidneys fail, but you both need to make a strong effort in that direction.

    Also, I suspect that the main reason for pushing transplant over dialysis is his young age. With a successful transpant, he can have decades of relatively healthful and productive time to look forward to.

    Dialysis keeps the body alive, but--frankly--just barely alive. You cannot call a life on dialysis quite "normal". Systems continue to degenerate slowly on dialysis, health problems are more not less severe. Hospitalizations are frequent. There is just no comparison in the long term.

    I lived on dialysis for over 4 years and it was genuinely difficult. I'm in my 14th year of transplant, and I can tell you this: I would not have survived 14 years on the dialysis machines.
    jas4819 replied to mrscora01's response:
    I to have kidney failure, just this month my GFR dropped 16 points. it was 39 and now 23 and going down fast. I want to know how long I have if my gfr is 13 will I die, since I will not do dialysis.
    mrscora01 replied to jas4819's response:
    Jas, I replied to your individual post. Dialysis is not a lot of fun, but it is more than do-able for the interim. I hated it, but am now quite happy now that I have my transplant.

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