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STAGE 4
An_242638 posted:
My 57 year old mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer Metastatic adenocarcinoma. Possible primary thyroid or breast. She was diagnosed im march 30, 2011. Seeing my mother go through all the pain and not being able to do anything for her. Im 34 and don't think I can handle loosing my mother. She is my best friend. In the past months ive been having a lot of anxiety attacks. At times I feel im being choked and at times I feel like im having a heart attack. My birthday just past on January 8 and that's when I realized that I have depression. I cried all week before my birthday thinking that this is the last time I will celebrate a birthday with my mom. Its been hard all along but I think my birthday week has been the hardest. I cry at home, at work when im out with friends. In the coming weeks I have to plan her funeral, I don't what to do all that when she leaves me. As hard as it will be planning her funeral know I cant imagine trying to do all that once she is gone.
Its just not fair how can a healthy woman never smoked get that diagnosis. No one in the house ever smoked.
Ive lost my faith. Ive cursed "god" and told him off time after time. Its easy for people to say " have faith" but when you've lost all faith all I to is tell then that god can go to hell! I know im going through anger but that is the way im feeling at the moment. I don't know how to deal.
Im grieving and she is till alive. Im a walking zombie.
Its just not fair how can a healthy woman never smoked get that diagnosis. No one in the house ever smoked.
Ive lost my faith. Ive cursed "god" and told him off time after time. Its easy for people to say " have faith" but when you've lost all faith all I to is tell then that god can go to hell! I know im going through anger but that is the way im feeling at the moment. I don't know how to deal.
Im grieving and she is till alive. Im a walking zombie.
3 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:STAGE 4My 57 year old mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer Metastatic adenocarcinoma. Possible primary thyroid or breast. She was diagnosed im march 30, 2011. Seeing my mother go through all the pain and not being able to do anything for her. Im 34 and don't think I can handle loosing my mother. She is my best friend. In the past months ive been having a lot of anxiety attacks. At times I feel im being choked and at times I feel like im having a heart attack. My birthday just past on January 8 and that's when I realized that I have depression. I cried all week before my birthday thinking that this is the last time I will celebrate a birthday with my mom. Its been hard all along but I think my birthday week has been the hardest. I cry at home, at work when im out with friends. In the coming weeks I have to plan her funeral, I don't what to do all that when she leaves me. As hard as it will be planning her funeral know I cant imagine trying to do all that once she is gone. <br /> <br />Its just not fair how can a healthy woman never smoked get that diagnosis. No one in the house ever smoked. <br /> <br />Ive lost my faith. Ive cursed "god" and told him off time after time. Its easy for people to say " have faith" but when you've lost all faith all I to is tell then that god can go to hell! I know im going through anger but that is the way im feeling at the moment. I don't know how to deal.<br /> <br /> <br />Im grieving and she is till alive. Im a walking zombie.
fighting4mom responded:
I am so sorry for you. It is okay for you to get support for yourself too. A healthy you means you can care for your mom better. There are several support groups out there as well as counseling services. Its so hard. Natural supports often fall away when you are at your worst. Ask your doctor about medications that may help. I recently made a doctor's appointment for myself to ask about antidepressants. I do not want my mom to spend her time worrying about ME. I do find, however, that what a lot of caregivers face is not a short supply of services out there...the trouble is lack of money. I moved home to live with my mom. I have no income. There are lots of ways for one to care for oneself.....eating well ($), doctors visits for much needed mood stabilizers (cha-ching), counseling (double cha-ching), hobbies ($$)....but I feel so guilty when I need money from my ill mother in order to do these things. I have had some success from at home exercize, including yoga and meditation, the library has free books, there are a myriad of online support groups, such as this one, and educating myself has been helpful. All free, thankfully.
Report This| Share this:STAGE 4I am so sorry for you. It is okay for you to get support for yourself too. A healthy you means you can care for your mom better. There are several support groups out there as well as counseling services. Its so hard. Natural supports often fall away when you are at your worst. Ask your doctor about medications that may help. I recently made a doctor's appointment for myself to ask about antidepressants. I do not want my mom to spend her time worrying about ME. I do find, however, that what a lot of caregivers face is not a short supply of services out there...the trouble is lack of money. I moved home to live with my mom. I have no income. There are lots of ways for one to care for oneself.....eating well ($), doctors visits for much needed mood stabilizers (cha-ching), counseling (double cha-ching), hobbies ($$)....but I feel so guilty when I need money from my ill mother in order to do these things. I have had some success from at home exercize, including yoga and meditation, the library has free books, there are a myriad of online support groups, such as this one, and educating myself has been helpful. All free, thankfully.
T_Omg replied to fighting4mom's response:
I'm so sorry about your mother illness.i lost my mother in 2003.i was so upset with GOD. Im couldn't listen to certain songs,i couldn't look at pictures.i talk to my mother 3 time day. I took her to doctor visit and grocery store. I miss all that lovely stuff. GOD ,do not make mistake.im not going to to tell you it get easy or its going to get better,you have to keep praying.im 52 years young ,I've 3 grown children and was diagnosis with cancer on the same day my first grand baby was born.please keep GOD in your life and stay strong.
Report This| Share this:STAGE 4I'm so sorry about your mother illness.i lost my mother in 2003.i was so upset with GOD. Im couldn't listen to certain songs,i couldn't look at pictures.i talk to my mother 3 time day. I took her to doctor visit and grocery store. I miss all that lovely stuff. GOD ,do not make mistake.im not going to to tell you it get easy or its going to get better,you have to keep praying.im 52 years young ,I've 3 grown children and was diagnosis with cancer on the same day my first grand baby was born.please keep GOD in your life and stay strong.
millydee responded:
An -
Your mother is going to need you. Please get some help for yourself. Crying is natural. Blaming God may even be "natural", although personally I believe praying to him would serve you better.
I was diagnosed in June '11 with the same thing your mom has, except mine is lung mets to bone. I, too, am a "young" 51, and the same as a non-smoker. Doc says I didn't smoke enough to even call it that. I'm not dead yet and I don't feel like I will be for a while.
Don't dwell on Mom's death, dwell on her life and the life she has left to share with you. If she is able, let her help you plan her service. You may be suprised at the burden this takes off your shoulders and at some of the requests she has for her own service.
I will pray for strength for you both.
Deanna
Your mother is going to need you. Please get some help for yourself. Crying is natural. Blaming God may even be "natural", although personally I believe praying to him would serve you better.
I was diagnosed in June '11 with the same thing your mom has, except mine is lung mets to bone. I, too, am a "young" 51, and the same as a non-smoker. Doc says I didn't smoke enough to even call it that. I'm not dead yet and I don't feel like I will be for a while.
Don't dwell on Mom's death, dwell on her life and the life she has left to share with you. If she is able, let her help you plan her service. You may be suprised at the burden this takes off your shoulders and at some of the requests she has for her own service.
I will pray for strength for you both.
Deanna
Report This| Share this:STAGE 4An - <br />Your mother is going to need you. Please get some help for yourself. Crying is natural. Blaming God may even be "natural", although personally I believe praying to him would serve you better.<br />I was diagnosed in June '11 with the same thing your mom has, except mine is lung mets to bone. I, too, am a "young" 51, and the same as a non-smoker. Doc says I didn't smoke enough to even call it that. I'm not dead yet and I don't feel like I will be for a while. <br />Don't dwell on Mom's death, dwell on her life and the life she has left to share with you. If she is able, let her help you plan her service. You may be suprised at the burden this takes off your shoulders and at some of the requests she has for her own service.<br />I will pray for strength for you both.<br />Deanna
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