Lung Cancer Community

I feel so damn helpless right Now I am my 86 year old mothers sole care giver she is OK except her memory is starting to go . But now my 66 year old brother in law was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer with has already spread to his lymph nodes and into his brain .
he still smokes and has not used his nebulizer that the hospital order for him last week . He went to his first chemotherapy treatment yesterday came home with my nephew and then lit up a cigarette .
I think he has Given up before he has started I try to talk to him about smoking all he says it is hard to quit after 40 some odd years of smoking . I know that I quit smoking in 2005 after over thirty some years .with a three pack a day habit. I have told him my motivation was money and tried to tell him he has so much more of a great motivation to quit He has a wife and a son a brother and a mother in law that love and care for him and depend on him my sister just got out of the hospital after her 9 Th back surgery . She is also a type 1 diabetic
that has had two heart attacks while on the table . and she finds the strength to do what she has to do . to beat the odds .
But What Can I We do to help get my brother In law to help himself or is it totally out of my and his family's hands . i do not want to preach to him . or sound like I am angry at him for not doing what he should to help himself .
Sorry about feeling so helpless I know i sound selfish here But is there any thing I can do at all i do love my brother in law he is more than just that he is like the brother I never had, and it is killing me seeing him do this to him self.