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Falling Apart
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lisatru62 posted:
I was diagnosed with SLE over a year ago after fighting with doctors for 10+ years. I don't feel 100% but I do feel better. My meds help with the symptoms and pain. I still get severe fatigue, nausea and stomach pains (from the meds), but I can manage, most of the time.

Unfortunately my husband was diagnosed with MGUS a precancerous condition. He doesn't have cancer at this time but will require constant monitoring like me and my lupus. The problem is he is draining. Those of you with husbands who have had colds know what I mean. While I don't want to discount his condition, it can be painful, he whines constantly.

He is also not helping to take care of himself. Where he once took care of certain business dealings he no longer does them. I have taken up a lion's share of the business and I'm getting exhausted.

I guess that is my vent. Just as most lupus sufferers I try and maintain a stiff upper lip, muscle through the pain and keep on keeping on. I just wish my husband would at least try.

Lisatru62
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1stLadyDi responded:
Yes, I do know how you feel about trying to manage your own condition & how men, generally, seem like they can hardly handle being sick. Most women, like us, press to go on in spite of our conditions even when we know that we need to rest. While I do not discount my husbands health issues of diabetes & high blood pressure, I remind him that his conditions are treatable to the point where he can control how ill, or not, he gets. Nevertheless, it doesn't keep him from pointing out that he has "serious" health conditions also. Well, he's not insulin dependent so he can manage his diabetes & blood pressure by maintaining a healthy diet, exercising & taking his medication. Of course, I'm thinking, "Really?" If he had to go through what I go through daily with no real means of controlling it, he would be in a world of hurt as I yet continue to go on.

I am really amazed at some of the testimonies others have shared on this site regarding their daily activity. I wonder how do they do it. I'm grateful that my diagnosis has only been within the last 2 1/2 years (no problems before) & my children are grown, although not completely out of the house (working on that one). I can't imagine if I had to deal with this illness with toddlers, trying to maintain a clean house & other domesticated duties, plus work outside of the home. I just go work (40 hrs) and that's about all I can stand as it takes every ounce of energy I have just doing that and nothing else.

Well, I pray that things get better for you, that you find some extra moments of rest - physically, mentally & emotionally - and that your husband is not only strengthened, but comes to the realization that he needs to do his share so that you both can try to balance your well-being and help make life easier for each other.
 
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lisatru62 replied to 1stLadyDi's response:
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It is hard to get our guys to take care of themselves, diet, exercise, medications. If a lupus sufferer is lucky and does the latter they can sometimes keep their condition under control with minimal flares. I know I do the best I can and watch myself carefully. I just wish my hubby would do the same.

I took over his medications recently because I thought he was taking them in the wrong order and too many of a couple. After one week of my organization he feels better. Funny how that works.

Men prove everyday that women are the stronger sex, at least in my household.Thanks again for letting me vent.

Lisatru62
 
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1stLadyDi replied to lisatru62's response:
You are more than welcome. We all need to vent at times. I pray that you have a good week this week.


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