Guys, I've been accused by my wife as being cold because I don't ever cry. Yes, I said it...I never cry. I haven't cried since the sudden loss of a parent many years ago. My question is this...Do you ever cry and what does it take to make you cry? Do you think it makes a man cold not to cry much? Aside from tragic experiences, crying seems like it is a rare occurrence for most men. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Years ago, when my daughter was about six years old, I overheard her talking to her grandmother (my mom) about something sad that had happened. She asked why doesn't Dad ever cry? Doesn't he ever get sad? It really made me stop and think when I heard her say that. See, I grew up with a father who, while he felt things very deeply, kept his emotions tightly in check. I knew how much I had craved hugs or some other displays of affection growing up and made a conscious effort when I became a father to frequently let my daughter know just how I felt about her. Yet, without realizing it, I was still keeping some emotions tightly in check by "keeping a stiff upper lip." I still don't cry freely but must admit that I am far more willing to let myself tear up when something especially touching happens in my life. I do make an effort not to be as controlled in my emotions as my dad had been or as I used to be. (I must admit, I am still pretty controlled but at least I am trying.) Amazingly, my Dad was far more demonstrative when he became a grandfather than he had ever been with my brother and I and all three of his grandchildren have wonderful memories of special times with Grandpa. He also opened up a lot to my brother and I as adults and there is no doubt in either of our minds of how important we were to him.
ChevyDudeNYC, I have bee accused of being cold because I do not cry easily. The sudden loss of my father at the funeral home did put me over the edge. Even the loss of our beloved pets have cause me to express my loss in tears. I am not ashamed to admit that I will cry when over come by severe grief. I was raised as were most guys that men were to be strong and supportive and not to cry or be over emotional. As I have grown older I have found that crying is not an admission of not being male, but it is the opposite that even when you are strong crying is not a reflection upon your maleness as a weakness.
Thanks for your Reply!
I cry more as I get older. The weird thing is that something major or serious can occur and I do not cry but then I cry at some silly movie.
I am one who is very emotional. I have always been one who can cry. Birth of a new niece or nephew, movies (action included), telling a part of my story, you name it.
I think it great that men can show emotions. It shows they are human. Even if they do hold back in public, I think there are several who in private can and should let themselves cry. It doesn't make you less of a He-Man if you do cry, it makes you a Better man.
I never cried. I used to get hit by my dad, "there, I'll give you something to cry about". He wasn't even as mean as the average dad when I was growing up. I maintained the 'no crying' for years, until my boy died. I cried like a river for 2 or 3 years afterward. It felt great. It was the truest release. After I felt better about his death, I could never force myself to cry again. The human mind is a strange place. Maybe the human heart is even stranger.
I have always been very emotional... I always cried as a kid, teen and young adult... I used to cry even if someone was just verbally scolding me as a kid... when I was 22 My mother died, (the only parent I had) and I cried for years and years.... as an older adult, it is hard for me to cry, I did gain a stiff upper lip.
I don't cry. I wish I could when both of my parents died a few years ago I never cried, at the funeral when I spoke I got choked up but no tears. I honestly don't know what it would take to make me cry.
I don't do it often. I've broken down when I've been extreme pain, and on a few occasions when someone close to me has died.
When I'm in a very emotional situation, I tend to automatically shift into a very analytical, logical behavior.
It's not that I equate crying or not crying with masculinity or a lack of it; I just don't want to lose too much control, especially if the situation involves others. I feel like I have to maintain some stability so I can reassure others around me.
HEY! How in f... heck did I suddenly become "OtherJohn"??? I posted one from my laptop and this one from my desktop. But I assumed that I was logged in with my same username and password. I never filled out a profile named :OtherJohn".
Looks like one more big glitch in this software. Maybe that it what happened to some of the Anonymous posters? The software just assigned them a new User ID without telling anyone?
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