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Of Boys and Men
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RevoHor posted:
When I was a kid, my father had no problem being in his briefs around me, but always asked me to leave the room and shut the door if he had to change clothes or get naked for any reason. He never allowed me to see him naked and always gave me the same amount of privacy, never seeing me naked after the age of 5 or so. While I appreciate him respecting me and giving me my space, I wonder if he went too far in that extreme of personal space and privacy.

I remember from a very young age (maybe 4 or 5) being very curious about the adult male body as well as the adult female body. I can't say I was attracted to either, necessarily -- I was just curious about what people looked like under their clothes. When I was about 10 or 11 years old, I discovered I could look through the keyhole in the old-style doorknob of our bathroom door to see into the room. That night when my father came home from work and my mother was downstairs, he went upstairs to take a shower and I snuck over to the door and looked through the keyhole. He was still in his underwear, but when he pulled them off, I was surprised that I was actually seeing my dad's penis! It was real! (haha!) And when he finished his shower, I watched him get out and dry off and get dressed, all in the bathroom. I watched him do this routine many times, both in this house and in the next house we moved into, until I was about 14 or 15 years old.

I'm not sure why I was so curious, but by the time I reached my mid teens, I was watching porn online a lot and lost interest in seeing my dad naked. But when I was 19 or so, I had stopped watching porn (and was glad I gave it up) and was once again curious about seeing other guys nude. This interest never really went anywhere and I wasn't going to start spying on my dad again, but a few years later I joined a gym and saw guys naked in the locker room all the time. That's not why I joined the gym, of course, but it was an interesting aspect for me.

Now, after seeing my dad naked (which he still doesn't know about) and having experienced the gym locker room, I'm not as curious about male nudity as I used to be. I'm straight and happily married and male nudity holds no sexual interest for me, but somehow being nude with another man, especially if he is my friend, means something to me. It's something important, I think, as if by being nude together he's telling me that he is open to me, he trusts me, and wants us to know each other better and be comfortable and confident with each other.

Now here are my questions:
1. What does male nudity mean to you?
2. Were you curious about adult male nudity when you were a kid?
3. Whether yes or no, why do you think so?
4. How can we help other boys and men become more comfortable with male nudity in a proper context and stop always seeing it as something sexual or gay?

Thank you for your responses!
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mpcsb responded:
Nudity is just part of life. I share a bathroom with my two boys ages 14 and 7. We have an 'open door' policy and it's no big deal to walk in on them or for them on me. Besides that we have a 'boys night out' to give their mother a rest from all her 'men'. We go to my gym for racquet ball and a swim. It's an old fashioned club with gang showers and an open locker room and nude swimming since it's for men only. My kids have seen me and I've seen them. They have seen other men and their sons too. I think all of this has made the whole thing no big deal. My dad took me so I take my boys.
 
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19pgh77 responded:
For me growing up was "open door" policy too. With being guys in the house, me, my brother and dad were all very open with nudity. We would walk in on eachother all the time. It was not any big deal for us
 
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An_206196 replied to mpcsb's response:
u let ur 7 year old swim w/ naked adult men?
 
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RevoHor responded:
Hmm... Nobody is answering my questions. Do you guys even see the list of 4 questions on here, or are you replying before you even get to the bottom?
 
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mpcsb replied to An_206196's response:
Sure, I'm there and so is his 14 year old brother. There are also other fathers and sons.
 
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calvinrankin7 responded:
what you said is nearly my experience in my life down to the t. except im not married. literally that is what i experienced in my life. although i havnt seen my dad naked since i was like 3 or 4, so i didnt have that keyhole thing. but i agree with everything you said.

i agree with how important male nudity is to you, i think that it is a major bonding thing that i have missed out on. i dont know why i was so curious about male nudity, but i assume it is because my dad was so private, and i never had a brother. the way i am going to help my future sons to be more comfortable about this subject is to talk with them as much as i can about anything sexual that concerns them, and be more open with changing and nudity. i feel like society has imprinted on me my thinking of male to male nudity being gay, and i cant shake it no matter how much i want to. it sucks that american culture thinks that way, i feel it has ruined my generation, and current ones by making them too sensitive and self conscious about these type of matters
 
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RevoHor replied to calvinrankin7's response:
Thank you, calvin, for your honest and relevant response! I agree with you opinions on this as well. In fact, I agree with most of what you say on these message boards, and I'm wondering if you'd like to stay in touch. Maybe we could exchange thoughts, feelings, and beliefs more freely. Could you give me your e-mail address?
 
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calvinrankin7 replied to RevoHor's response:
ehh, im not too sure about that. i dont even know how i would go about doing that without giving my email to everyone else here, which i dont feel comfortable with. but i, as well as one of the other members here (gymaddict), have accounts on the website, themarriagebed.com, where you can send private messages to each other. me and him have contacted each other that way. so if you genuinely want to converse further, look me up there, because i rarely log in here, that was just a random accident coming here a couple days ago

"calvin"
 
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GAP1954 responded:
1. Nudity in either gender is where complete honesty begins.; I spend a lot of time in other countries and especially Japan where bathing with other men (and in a few areas mixed bathing) is the norm. The relaxed atmosphere, general conversations and total openness is refreshing and fulfilling.
2. Was curious from birth I think. Used to get naked every chance I could, with or without company.
3. Why? no real idea - early horniness?
4. Nudist clubs for families are good. Start being naked with your kids from birth. But understand that as a kid matures and is impacted by our non-open society, they are going to feel more and more inhibited around YOU. Respect that and give them space but don't alter your approach to life. If you walk from the bathroom to your bedroom nude - go ahead and keep doing it. If they are not comfortable, they will be the ones to turn away or not come out until you are passed.
 
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texas7t responded:
go to EUROPE. being nude is natural. and no big deal. Woman are topless at the beach.. and kids grow up not making a big deal about it. We are what we are taught from others.
Diamonds are rocks, and so are crystals, but we put a high price on diamonds and there for people want the most costly rock. As for me, I dont like diamonds. they are over valued.
But I to once looked through the key hole of my older brother when he took a shower. I had to see what I was not aloud to see. and after a few times it was no big deal. Yep, I even watched him stroke one off a few times. He dont know it. But its no big deal, we all jack off..
 
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rob15lov replied to texas7t's response:
These kinds of discussions are important to have here.
 
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hairyd responded:
Now here are your questions:
1. What does male nudity mean to you?
Being comfortible in your own skin. I am please with my body. I need some improvements therefore I spend time at the gym. I can appreciate another male structuring his abs.
2. Were you curious about adult male nudity when you were a kid?
Yes, but was open nudeness with my family and friends
3. Whether yes or no, why do you think so?
I wanted to see how my body would change in the stages from a boy to man
4. How can we help other boys and men become more comfortable with male nudity in a proper context and stop always seeing it as something sexual or gay?
The Hetrosexual males can not continue to become like females in thinks nudity in proper content is sexual. WE can not control the thought of a person about a male's or female body. The male can understand the bonding of a team, group, family, etc .If a male is able to share time stripped nude in the gym / locker rooms , pools , etc. Understand we are differant
but we make up the whole team. Males we can not let the females change the way males think about males.
Since the begin of time there has been nude male bonding.
The female should not make us be a embrassed by our gential. With less males being fathers to there sons. The mother has had to take the role, therefore differant informations is being given. In the past the mothers advise their sons to follow the foot prints of their grandfathers, fathers, and uncles. Those foot prints are not there.
 
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Mark94 responded:
Thanks for sharing that Rev. I could have written that myself. I am married and have a family but have always had a curiosity about nude males and I think it is because my Dad was distant in his relationship with me and therefore I never got that true male bond. I read these stories of how other guys are with their sons and wish I had had that. I think it really effects our boys when they don't have the true father figure. Anyway thanks for sharing.
 
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calvinrankin7 replied to RevoHor's response:
hey RevoHor, i reread this post, (after nearly a year!) because my email updated me about other responses. and so i know this is a pretty late response, but yeah if you are still interested in exchanging emails, i think that would be cool. we do seem to have a lot in common, and i actually have some questions for you that probably only someone like you who have been in a similar situation can answer.
anyway, respond to this if you're still interested and then we can figure a way to trade emails!

thanks, man

calvin


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