Skip to content


Please see the new Men's Sexuality exchange. It is suggested that this exchange be geared to men's health issues.
A Detriment
baltincur posted:
A friend at a nursing home expressed he wanted to commit suicide.

As a concerned outsider I felt I should report this to his nurse. His private sitter who just happened to be there got angry and said I could not do that. I later found out much later that these sitters also have the health care directive. But nobody bothered to tell me about this.

I went and reported what my friend said to his psychologist. Now this same person has suspended me for at least a month because she is saying I am detrimental to his healthcare. Detrimental to what? For reporting what he said? Do any of you understand any of this? I try to be helpful and yet I get dinged for it.
GAP1954 responded:
I recommend you see if there is a counselor who is experienced in this area. Do not get sucked in to assisting him - it usually turns out very bad for the helper. If your friend is in very bad condition, see if he has an advanced health care directive and make sure the don-not-resuscitate instructions are clear. Then suggest he talk frankly with his physician about discontinuing any life required medications except for pain management.

If indeed suicide is his choice and he has determined a method to carry it out, you are not obligated to report it to anyone.

But, life in a nursing home can be liveable - and you might try to move him to a place better suited for him.

Good luck - Gary - The Caregiver Foundation of America
baltincur replied to GAP1954's response:
thanks for the response.

Just to elaborate...Maybe this friend did do me a disservice by saying what he said to me which I then thought would be a good idea to report to his psychologist.

What it all got me when I reported this to the psychologist is that she sends a letter to the guy who holds the health care directive and she tells him that by reporting what my friend said to me that she has determined that I am a detriment to his recovery. She also goes to say by asking him questions such common greeting questions as "how are you doing today?" that I was trying to find out about his emotional health. How could a layperson from the outside know anything about this? This provider has chosen to take a common greeing question and turn it into something inappropriate without the outsider even being cognizant about it and now gets "dinged" for it? This is nuts.

Question: Why is this psychologist thinking this way? Now she has told me not to visit him for at east 30 days. Is this legal? She is not a MD.

Spotlight: Member Stories

My name is Maxwell Barto I am 23 and I live in New York.

Helpful Tips

Aftershave for Penis Shaft and Scrotum Shave
According to the poll we have on whether you shave your equipment or not the results as of today are 80 shave, 17 don't. Clearly the ... More
Was this Helpful?
11 of 13 found this helpful

Helpful Resources

Be the first to post a Resource!

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.