Skip to content


    Exciting News for WebMD Members!

    We've been busy behind the scenes building new message boards for you. You'll have new and easier ways to find messages, connect with others, and share your stories.

    And, this will all be available on your smartphone or other mobile device!

    What Do You Need to Do?

    The message board you're used to will be closing in the coming weeks. While many of your boards will be making the move to our new home, your posts will not. Want to keep a discussion going? Save posts you want to continue (this includes your member profile story), so that you can re-post them in the new message boards.

    Keep an eye here and on your email inbox, we'll be back in touch soon to give you all the information you need!

    Yours in health,
    WebMD Message Boards Management

    Please see the new Men's Sexuality exchange. It is suggested that this exchange be geared to men's health issues.
    A Detriment
    baltincur posted:
    A friend at a nursing home expressed he wanted to commit suicide.

    As a concerned outsider I felt I should report this to his nurse. His private sitter who just happened to be there got angry and said I could not do that. I later found out much later that these sitters also have the health care directive. But nobody bothered to tell me about this.

    I went and reported what my friend said to his psychologist. Now this same person has suspended me for at least a month because she is saying I am detrimental to his healthcare. Detrimental to what? For reporting what he said? Do any of you understand any of this? I try to be helpful and yet I get dinged for it.
    GAP1954 responded:
    I recommend you see if there is a counselor who is experienced in this area. Do not get sucked in to assisting him - it usually turns out very bad for the helper. If your friend is in very bad condition, see if he has an advanced health care directive and make sure the don-not-resuscitate instructions are clear. Then suggest he talk frankly with his physician about discontinuing any life required medications except for pain management.

    If indeed suicide is his choice and he has determined a method to carry it out, you are not obligated to report it to anyone.

    But, life in a nursing home can be liveable - and you might try to move him to a place better suited for him.

    Good luck - Gary - The Caregiver Foundation of America
    baltincur replied to GAP1954's response:
    thanks for the response.

    Just to elaborate...Maybe this friend did do me a disservice by saying what he said to me which I then thought would be a good idea to report to his psychologist.

    What it all got me when I reported this to the psychologist is that she sends a letter to the guy who holds the health care directive and she tells him that by reporting what my friend said to me that she has determined that I am a detriment to his recovery. She also goes to say by asking him questions such common greeting questions as "how are you doing today?" that I was trying to find out about his emotional health. How could a layperson from the outside know anything about this? This provider has chosen to take a common greeing question and turn it into something inappropriate without the outsider even being cognizant about it and now gets "dinged" for it? This is nuts.

    Question: Why is this psychologist thinking this way? Now she has told me not to visit him for at east 30 days. Is this legal? She is not a MD.

    Spotlight: Member Stories

    I'm a 45y/o guy married for 15yrs.Just found this site. Really like how open everyone is on here. Hope to learn something new from everyone. Hope ...More

    Helpful Tips

    Does any one have a recommendation on a brand of boxer briefs that hold their shape throughout the day? I have Hanes 100% cotton boxer ... More
    Was this Helpful?
    34 of 59 found this helpful

    Helpful Resources

    Be the first to post a Resource!

    Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

    FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.