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Stepson, 14, caught me masturbating, What do I do?
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An_206243 posted:
My 14-year-old stepson caught me masturbating yesterday to porn when I thought I was alone in the house. Not sure how much he saw (or even if he full-on did), but I am sure he at least heard it (the porn video, I mean) from the way he was acting. Now things are awkward and I don't know how to address it --- or even if I should.

Do I talk to him about it (briefly and with as little of an "ickiness" factor as I can? Or do I let it go and just live with the awkwardness in the hopes it blows over soon.

Also, should I fill my wife in on what happened? She's done a pretty good job of raising him to understand that masturbation is natural, but she's not too hip on the porn thing.

I just don't want him to lose respect for me since we've had a good relationship up until now. And I most definitely don't want him telling his friends ... What do I do?

Help!

P.S., I know I deserve ridicule for this (should have locked the door, no duh) but please, I ask this looking for serious advice...
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fishburner101 responded:
This is like another discussion we had on here. Talk to him about it, he is more than likely to tell his friends. You don't need to tell your wife. it will be less awkward after you talk to him about it.
 
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hairyd responded:
I agree the best option is to speak with him man to man. I would advise in a place with only the two; Tell him You had notice the way he was ackward acting. First see if he will tell you what he saw. If he choose not to start the conversation. Then tell him a friend have giving you the porn to view. As he know from his body when you have a erection it was normal to masturbate.

Could it also be he may also want to view the flick, but does not want to ask. Alot of youth find the father's treaures and view with their friends. I would not think this would be the first time he would have seen your penis hard. But seeing it erect. Knowing that was be used to please his mother, could be a issue.

No a man should not have TO LOCK THE DOOR IN HIS OWN HOME. Yes, You and I would tell our friends. Your an adult doing an adult activity. Why be ridiculed. Your son will sometime in his life will do the same thing.

Talk to your son; your wife was not involved so why would she need to speak with him. This a talk alot of males sharing the same home has discussed. We all masturbate, My father and I and therefore I and my son had this talk. Before we walk in on the other pleasuring their penis.

Keeps us posted......
 
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longodon responded:
I think he will have more respect for you if you talked to him about what he saw. Remember, he is 14 and this is all new to him and let him know that we all do it. Make him understand that it is not something to be ashamed of and that masterbation is healthy. Be very open and ask him if he has any questions.
 
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gymrat44 responded:
Hey, Anon, it's good that you came here with your question. Hopefully the discussion will help you as well as others -- we're all more alike than we may realize sometimes and the sort of thing you describe can happen to any of us.

Here's another take: you being a step-dad and his being 14 years old puts you in a special situation where you're both working to develop your relationship. Here's a chance to talk with him about sex, growing up and responsibilty. That even as adults we can be overcome with physical/emotional need which pushes us to do some things which we might not if we had actually planned them out ahead of time. What you were doing is OK (any of us not done it?) but I'm sure you hadn't plan on the young fellow walking in on you. We all need to take a moment before we start a new sexual situation and ask ourselves if what we're about to do is something we really feel is OK to do. Sex can be like fire -- we all need it and we all encounter it. Fire can cook our food and heat our home -- or it can burn up our house and destroy us! Sex is somewhat the same thing -- it can bring great comfort, cement our family together, and create children; or, it can destroy us as well. And none of us is ever too old to be careful with sex or with fire -- or to use them responsibly and enjoy them on a regular basis.

Hopefully by going over this topic with your young fellow can help strengthen your relationship together which in turn will strengthen the family bonds for all three of you. Best wishes!
manhood should be enjoyed, not proven -- gymrat44
 
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Shrappy replied to gymrat44's response:
Thanks guys. I followed your advice and spoke with my stepson. Was massively embarrassing for both of us at the time, but now things are much better.

Good advice.
 
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GaMale770 responded:
Shrappy,

Can you tell us what your step-son's reaction was when you approcahed him on the subject and what he said if anything?

Did you first ask him what exctly did he see and how much of it did he see in order to ease with your explination as to why you were doing it?


GaMale
 
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latin52 responded:
youre alright buddy


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